Being a jw makes one feel special, no doubt. When I found out TTATT I realized I'm not special at all. I'm just one of the other 7 billion human beings who will live and die being nobody, the world will forget about them (and I'm not talking about relatives and friend), they didn't make anything special in their life, they didn't change the course of history, were not famous nor rich, didn't invent facebook, google or anything awesome, didn't have an article published in Newscientist, had no imdb profil, not even a wiki page, didn't write a book etc. When I watch interviews of people who brought innovative ideas to life I wonder how awesome it would be to go to bed every night knowing that I count, to go out in the city and say: yeah, you see that, that's possible because of me.
Now, there is a moment when you start calculating your chances, the odds for big things to happen with you, and you realize: nope, that's not gonna happen, you were born in the wrong place and wrong time, needed to fight for things that for others come with the package.
Being raised up as a jw, I think I'm not starting life from zero, I'm starting from minus (insert three digit number here). It's like fighting in a war of which outcome has already been decided. I realize I can't get out of this situation without hurting myself and all the people who are important to me. I want to be able to become an insensitive person and just stop caring about how others might feel if I did this thing or that thing. Sometimes it happens but that's just despair and anger claiming my brain.
A reset button would be handy. I'm not making the depressed, low-selfesteemed guy here, just am trying to be realistic. If you understand anything from the above I'm open for your thoughts. And no offense for those individuals on this forum who did achieved something big in life; I know there are such members; better said no offense to anybody.