Posts by lilbluekitty

10

Me at the Circuit Assembly Today

by ranmac in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmabta4sxi&feature=related.

lilbluekitty

*likes*

Were you at the one in Plant City, FL? My aunt and her family just went to that one.

22

Very superstitious, the Devil's on his way...

by Londo111 in

growing up jw, the paranoia over demons oftentimes seemed to reach a medieval frenzy.

there was no shortage of places where demons were hiding, ready to possess those who stumbled upon them.

is there any religion on earth more superstitious (aka demon-fearing)?

Oh man, this whole thing is totally all the things I was taught, especially about not praying out loud! It got to the point that I was terrified all the time of everything. I remember I bought this amazing silver ring that had these Celtic symbols that I liked (Celtic knots or something) and that night I had horrible nightmares so I threw the ring away. I always just assumed it was the ring but sometimes I just have nightmares because of what I put into my mind. I'm not saying I don't believe in those things but I don't know if every single object can cause things like that. It's kind of dumb. To me, if you have faith and trust in God you're going to be okay. Dude, I watched The Rite recently and nothing bad happened to me. I felt guilty for watching it but that's about it. *shrugs* The dumb things the org teaches us...

76

Multiple Abuse ...

by talesin in

i wonder how many posters here are not only in recovery from spiritual abuse (jws) , but other traumas,, such as sexual and physical abuse,,, or rape as a young person (ie, child or teen).. .

how many of us are recovering from double - or triple - trauma ... ?.

anyone want to share?.

lilbluekitty

Oh by the way my mother has many, many privileges now, especially going to RBC meetings every week (she's some sort of administrator) and drama rehearsals to do the beards and makeup stuff. She is not, however, a pioneer and only pioneered regularly once when I was a kid. She barely makes 10 hours a month (much of it faked) last I knew but loves to brag about how everyone knows her and how hard she works and all the extra stuff she does for the org. It totally sucks. If they only knew...

76

Multiple Abuse ...

by talesin in

i wonder how many posters here are not only in recovery from spiritual abuse (jws) , but other traumas,, such as sexual and physical abuse,,, or rape as a young person (ie, child or teen).. .

how many of us are recovering from double - or triple - trauma ... ?.

anyone want to share?.

lilbluekitty

I was physically, verbally, emotionally abused. Basically everything except sexually. I was born prematurely (weighed 4 lbs at birth) so I was always small my whole life. My father didn't believe there was anything wrong with me even though I stopped growing at age 10 or so and weighed about 45 lbs. My mother went to the other extreme and took me to the doctor's all the time once my parents got divorced. I had to have growth hormone shots which thankfully helped me grow 10 more inches so that I'm 4'10 now (and a much healthier weight LOL). However most of my teenage years were spent in the hospital going through various tests both physical such as the dreaded Insuline Arginine test (they lower your blood sugar as low as it can go without you dying and then hope that certain hormones kick in) and psychological/neurological tests because my mom said I wasn't like other kids. I was diagnosed wrongly with bipolar disorder. I do not have it but I was made to take so many medications that one of my doctors in New England could not believe I was on so much medication. I spent most of my teens and 20s totally drugged up and not in a fun way. My moods were out of control because if you put a non-bipolar on bipolar meds, you act bipolar. So they would keep putting me on more and more meds. Lithium was the worst. I was always sick to my stomach and my hands still shake now even though I'm no longer on any meds.

There was also horrible physical abuse at the hands of my mother. She is obese and I was always small so the only way I ever got away is because I'm fast but once she'd find me I'd still end up getting it. It started out as spankings and then escalated to beatings and hair pulling and face punching. She broke my glasses several times. She'd beat me the most while she was driving us to the meetings, sometimes telling my sister and I that she was going to swerve into the opposite lane so that a truck would hit us and we'd all die. She did that many, many times. It should be noted that she was at her worst the NIGHT OF THE MEMORIAL, every single year, making me dread the memorial.

I think the worst thing is that on the drive to almost every meeting, she'd scream at us, or hit us, or both and by the time we pulled into the KH parking lot, my sister and I would either both be in tears or my sister would be very angry (we dealt with the abuse differently, I was always depressed and guilty, often suicidal, my sister was always angry and wanted to rebel against her.) But the thing is, we had to smile and look happy when we entered the hall. Sometimes my smile wasn't real enough and people would ask me what was wrong. I had to lie and say I was tired or something. It wasn't until I was in my early 20s that I would finally say, when people said how are you that I wasn't doing so great and then I wouldn't bother explaining why because I was embarassed to still be spanked and beaten in my 20s.

Thankfully I'm away from that whole mess, married now to a non-JW who doesn't yell and scream and hit. He's very laid back and quiet. I am socially awkward, due to the whole way I spent most of my life and also the fact that I have Asperger's (high-functioning autism, basically) and didn't have much social interaction in my life. I still have flashbacks and nightmares about the abuse but mostly I don't think about it.

48

WHY IT IS WRONG FOR ELDERS, MINISTERIAL SERVANTS AND PIONEERS TO SOCIALIZE WITH THE WEAK ONES!

by AvocadoJake in

there is a sister in our hall who has made it clear why her "jehovah" does not like weak ones.

her husband the po, will refuse to work with those who are not getting ten hours or more a month.

the weak ones "are spiritually dangerous and will bring you down.

lilbluekitty

Oh, and LongHairGal, you said "JWs this self-righteous should wear some sort of a badge or identifying object so that everybody ELSE avoid them." (I don't know how to quote on this forum yet LOL)

You don't even need it. Just look at them. How do they stand, how do they speak? Is their heads held high with their chins up? Do they speak down to some and praise others? What I mean is, are they only friends with pioneers and elders and their wives? I've heard people say "he's ONLY an MS." I always made it a point to talk to EVERYONE, even the little older sisters who everyone either ignored or pretended to like. Some of my best friends were those old ladies. I didn't talk to only people my own age or a certain status in the congregation. Anyways, you can just tell when you look at those people who are totally SR (self-righteous). You can tell by their comments in the meeting. They go on for like 5 minutes or more. You can just tell. My own grandmother is totally SR.

48

WHY IT IS WRONG FOR ELDERS, MINISTERIAL SERVANTS AND PIONEERS TO SOCIALIZE WITH THE WEAK ONES!

by AvocadoJake in

there is a sister in our hall who has made it clear why her "jehovah" does not like weak ones.

her husband the po, will refuse to work with those who are not getting ten hours or more a month.

the weak ones "are spiritually dangerous and will bring you down.

lilbluekitty

I have definitely met people like that, no matter where I've lived in the US. Up in New England, they're like that. Down here in TX they're like that. One elder's wife told me I could not go to her party because I didn't have enough hours in field service (something she is supposedly not supposed to know.) Another sister told me, after I asked if we could hang out after the meeting, that we would have to wait and see if my meeting attendance and hours in field service improved, then she might invite me. As though I was a dog that needed to do more tricks in order to get a treat. The Bible says to assist those who are weak. The people who act like that do not read ALL of the Bible, only the scriptures that make them feel good.

Like I mentioned on a FB group recently, the JWs taught me to hate, Christians are taught to love.

26

My story in more detail

by freshstart in

so as i stated in my first post, i was born to witness parents.

from early on, my parents were both quite fanatical about the "truth.

" we couldn't even eat lucky charms cereal because they thought it had satanic connections.

lilbluekitty

At one point, my mom accused me of conspiring with the members of the congregation to make them look like bad parents.

Exactly! My mom was messed up too, and it was her that beat the crap out of me. She is still used in her congregation too and most people adore her. But yeah, whenever my sister and I would get rides from the "friends" because my mother was having a fit or whatever, when we got home she'd grill us trying to figure out if we "told" on her or talked about her to anyone. She'd grab us by our collars and shake us and was sure we were trying to make her look bad.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I totally hear you on that kind of childhood. I think there's more of us out there than the org. chooses to admit. =/ *hugs*

44

CO Visits=encouragement?

by lifestooshort in

when i was still a jw i remember my feelings of confusion caused by the co visit.

i just found them so discourging.

i knew what he was going to say.

lilbluekitty

EmptyInside, I think we did know the same guy because I heard he became a D.O. later on. He really seemed to be a nice guy, I knew him when I was a kid in the 90s.

16

Anyone been watching American Horror Story or Walking Dead?

by EntirelyPossible in

anyone been watching that or the walking dead?

both shows, in my opinion, are outstanding.. thoughts, likes, dislikes?.

lilbluekitty

I LOOOOOVE The Walking Dead. I'm not really into zombies but this explained why they're like that for the show so I don't mind watching it if they have a "logical" explanation for it. I espescially love the post-apocalyptic feel of the show, I'm pretty much obsessed with that whole genre. Rick is awesome and I'm excited to see what Shane does next. I really hope the little blonde girl is found soon, too.

44

CO Visits=encouragement?

by lifestooshort in

when i was still a jw i remember my feelings of confusion caused by the co visit.

i just found them so discourging.

i knew what he was going to say.

lilbluekitty

CO visits for me were never encouraging and so at the end of each meeting that week when the brother would say something about "let's be thankful for this interchange of encouragement" or however it was it was worded, I would be all annoyed and be like, what encouragement?

There were a few COs I really liked though, Bro. Marlowe and Bro. Hurst (sp?) were both kind and funny, especially Bro. Hurst because he was a big, fat jolly man who made the funniest jokes in his talks and when my mom was in pioneer school, he was one of the instructors and they were always teasing each other back and forth. But some of the COs we had afterwards were just awful or seemed to not know what they were doing. The last CO I had down here in TX, I don't remember his name but he was quite young and single and I have this feeling that he was secretly gay, I don't know why. Either that or a woman-hater. He wouldn't talk to any sisters, not even elder's wives. The bros. had wanted him to meet with me since I was new to that congregation and it never happened, (Which was fine by me!).