Cobaltcupcake, You read my mind-- that was my first response! You are so handy with those little icons!
rubadubdub
JoinedPosts by rubadubdub
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82
Will AAWA Become another cult?
by His Excellency inplease sorry for english, i have only been learning for 18 months.
everyone please think about it, and beware of any initiative designed to solve "a community problem".
becasue russel also started his own cult on a similar premise like this , claiming to have all the answers to issues whose solutions seems obscured to the majority in his days, and here we are today, constantly bashing our fingers on the keyboard in a bid to finding comfort from the mess he had put all of us into.
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How many ways....
by Lady Lee in... can you name that the wts hurts people?.
two big ones for me:.
it pushes people to the edge and when they commit suicide they say: "well he wasn't really a jw anyways soit has nothing to do with us".. it pushes people so much to do more and more and more that they get depressed, and physically sick.
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rubadubdub
The WBT$ takes away all of your Legitimate Rights in a Relationship as defined by Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
You have a right to need things from others.
You have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain.
You have the right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate.
You have the right to your opinions and convictions,
You have the right to your experience–even if it is different from that of other people.
You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.
You have a right to negotiate for change.
You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it).
You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish.
You have a right not to justify yourself to others.
You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.
*Quoted from The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook by McKay, Wood, and Brantley, pg. 202
Also, The Headship Principle in marriage simply does not work! It destroys marriages. Marriage based on the premise of an equal partnership has a much better chance of working.
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Will AAWA Become another cult?
by His Excellency inplease sorry for english, i have only been learning for 18 months.
everyone please think about it, and beware of any initiative designed to solve "a community problem".
becasue russel also started his own cult on a similar premise like this , claiming to have all the answers to issues whose solutions seems obscured to the majority in his days, and here we are today, constantly bashing our fingers on the keyboard in a bid to finding comfort from the mess he had put all of us into.
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rubadubdub
And the Survey says: Best answer: The Quiet One: "Sorry, I must have missed the part where Cedars demanded that people volunteer or be annihilated. Damned narcolepsy..."
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14 months after printing the "Steve and Selma" article, guess what the Society's latest Awake is about...
by cedars inyou guessed it.... .
http://www.jw.org/download/?fileformat=pdf&issue=201304&output=html&pub=g&langwritten=e&option=trgchlzrqvnyvrxf&txtcmslang=e.
cedars.
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rubadubdub
My first moment of cognitive dissonance is so clear in my memory even to this day:
Time: 1976
Age: 17 (Baptized at age 16)
Place: Circuit Assembly, Natick, MA, USA
"Experience" given by a "sister" with an "unbelieving mate"
A sister relates to a captivated audience the detail of her long marriage to an abusive man. It was so abusive that she and the brothers felt it wise to have her own children live outside the home and be raised by another JDub family! The sister felt it so important to remain loyal to her marital vow and Jehovah's arrangement that she abandonned her own children! She was so thankful that after decades, Jehovah finally called her to peace when her husband suddenly died of a heart attack.
There wasn't a dry eye as far as I could see, everyone clapping, but I was in shock. I was living in a violent and abusive family. That is what drew me to the witnesses at age nine. I thought they would lead me to a happy family life in my future, away from my family. My alcoholic father abandonned his five children and left them with a mentally ill mother just one year earlier when I was 16. I was the defacto parent. I knew this was wrong. Why would a loving God bless a woman for abandonning her own children? Why would he bless her by striking her husband dead if it was the right thing to do for her to stay in the marriage? WHAT ABOUT HER CHILDREN???
I will never forget that!
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Our family wishes to extend our sympathies to Gregg [Greybeard from JWStruggle]...
by Newly Enlightened ingregg, we are deeply sorry for your loss.
you will be with us in our thoughts & prayers.
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rubadubdub
Gregg,
May you be at peace,
May your heart remain open,
May you know the beauty of your own true nature,
And may you be a source of healing for others.
--Buddhist prayer
Take good care of yourself and your children! Don't give up!
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AAWA is here!! (The Association of Anti-Watchtower Activists)
by cedars inhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcic4g5tulw.
http://www.jwactivists.org.
facebook the association of anti-watchtower activists.
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rubadubdub
I like Flipper's suggestion: "Safe Haven & Outreach for Exiting JW's". Keep the AAWA name, but add a subtitle? Just a thought.
Posted your YouTube video to my Facebook page (local dubs weeded out and blocked preemptively! Would like to know how I can help while still keeping a low profile while my dub-in-laws are still with us.
Great Mission Statement!
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LURKING JW: Thinking of leaving? Learn from my experience.
by SnakesInTheTower in"mental wondering in the wilderness"... uh oh.... it's a long post from snakes.... lol.
yep... i think that is the best way to describe where i am at in life right now.
if you have read my past posts (mostly in the private section) you know some of my history as a life-long (now former) witness.. i have been away from the jw religion, for all intents and purposes, since dec. 06, though it was not until sept 07 that i stopped attending meetings.
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rubadubdub
His Excellency, thanks for bumping this thread!
In 2009 Snakes in the Tower wrote:
If you are currently an active Witness but thinking of walking away from the Organization, understand that if you leave that you need to be prepared to go through a rough road . Have a support system in place BEFORE you walk away . Make some "worldly" friends at work or somewhere;, find a therapist if you can; get close to non-JW family...people that you may have looked down on before...people you can talk with....you will need all of them and more to get you through the mental anguish that follows you...especially if you were raised as a JW. It's harder to do after you leave. If you don't you end up being in a "no man's land" for a time. The more time you have invested as a JW, the harder it may be.
People who were as involved as I was in the Watchtower Organization do not just get to "walk away" from the Organization. "Something" must be wrong. The rank and file witnesses can smell it as surely as the smell of death (and that is a smell you never forget) and run the other way.
Snakes, you what you said years ago is still so true. Spot on. I wish I had read this before I walked away. I make a cold, clean break from the WTB$ with no preparaton whatsoever, and I suffered the consequence. No support system, not a single non-JW friend. Unable to reconnect with Non-JW totally dysfunctional family (The Trifecta: mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction-- The Perfect Storm). Working part-time from home for our family business (my active dub life was a part-time job in and of itself, and I had been my mother's primary caregiver for nearly 12 years at that point (with no family support.) Severe, recurrent clinical depression reared its ugly head after a brief elation upon my exit. I also have PTSD, in part due to the fear-mongering of the early '70s leading up to 1975, but not all dub related.
I had 42 years of my life invested. I raised myself in The Lie from age nine; no other family members go sucked in. I married in The Lie. Raised two children in The Lie. I did end up in "no man's land" for a time, and it was exceedingly lonely and painful. Now 19 months later, I am so much better! Today I had a recheck with my cardiologist. I literally came to death's door due to my exit. I was so depressed that I went back on medicaton. I was having severe adverse side-effects and my M.D. kept increasing the dose, saying I needed to stick with it just a bit longer and my body would adjust. I ended up in the hospital due to being over-medicated. My cholesterol numbers had always been high, but the stress in my life had driven them through the roof. My EKG is still not back to normal even though it has nearly been a year, but my cholesterol numbers have settled; and my cardiologist is happy with the percentages. But the great part about today's visit-- my cardiologist said, "I nearly walked out of the room, I didn't recognize you! You look so different, so much more relaxed and well. What has changed?" I told him everything has changed. I explained that I had been a Jdub for 42 years and had left. I told him that I am now a volunteer literacy tutor and love it. That I am practicing yoga and meditation and I am currently in therapy and benefiting from it for the first time in my life, because I can freely talk about what is really bothering me instead of trying to protect the image of an organization. He said that he sees the same hight levels of stress in the Orthodox Jewish community. (He is Jewish.) He said that the unattainable expectations and standards drive people to the brink. He expressed how very happy he was for me. He asked about exercise, and I told him I just fell in love with kayaking, and my husband has ordered one and it is on the way. He said, "Kayaking is great exercise; I wouln't change a thing. See you in a year!" I love being on the water and in the sun! There will be room for my dog in my kayak (she has a life jacket already for sailing). I have a waterproof camera, so I will enjoy my love of photography while we are puddle jumping. Also, I walk my dog every day, something I never had the time to do as a dub. I would just tie her out. My father and grandmother both died of heart disease at aged 54. I am going to be 55 in July. I'm not certain I would still be here, if I had not let The Lie. I was clearly dying inside. I'm glad I walked away. I just wish I was more prepared for what I was up against. So if any lurkers are reading this, please listen to Snakes. He was right years ago, and he is still right today! -
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Getting serious for Julia!!
by Julia Orwell inno, there's no jc scheduled for me, though i've heard from a friend on the boe that the inquisitor is about to get inquisited himself.
you will see who i mean in this thread: .
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/246766/1/julias-inquisition-two-elders-the-full-version-i-want-you-all-to-see-this.
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rubadubdub
Londo111 Wrote:
Run! Claim you were stumbled if they do manage to contact you.
PistOff Wrote:
Hang in there, Julia; don’t admit anything, don’t show fear, keep everything light, happy and neutral.
Comatose Wrote:
Life if you have to.
Julia, I'm sorry things have come to this. Londo111's advice to Run! is spot on. I was contacted daily in one form or another for a full five months when I first walked away. After an initial brief phone conversation (fishing expedition) with one elder, I avoided all contact and did not engage them at all.
When, months later that same elder showed up on my doorstep unannounced. I invited him inside my front door only because he was alone, and it was raining. My intent was having a fluffy conversation and throwing down the mental health card. He started by asking how my "sabbatical" was going. I laughed. Told him I was still dealing with PSTD, clinical depression issues and family issues (Mom). He knew the deal. I changed the subject and asked about his family. I assured him I knew how to contact each of the elders, and would contact them if I needed to. They have not contacted me in a year (other than a text message from the CoBOE inquiring of my safety when I was under mandatory evacuation orders. My response: Polite and to the point.
This plan has worked for me: Run! Show no fear. Throw down whatever card works for you (you seem to have plenty to choose from!) Keep it light. Only speak to an elder if he is alone. Thank you and good-bye.
If you do choose to meet with them, I reiterate what another poster said, your hubby must be there! And what Comatose said, "Lie if you have to." They feel free to use "Theocratice Warfare, so game on.
It would take a lot of nerve to pull off PunkofNice's plan. It's gold, pure gold! Love the way you think Punk!
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Why I Stayed Married to my "Apostate" Husband for 30 Years. Help for those whose marriages are in trouble now that you have left The Lie.
by rubadubdub ini have to say i am surprised and am quite saddened to hear how many jdub marriages fall apart when one partner becomes an "unbelieving mate" or even an "apostate.
" i thought i might post my thoughts on my thinking process during the time my hubby, bethelyellowdollarbag, in my jdub thinking moved along the path from an "unbelieving mate" to an "apostate" over the course of 30 years before i finally woke up to ttatt.
"-1 corinthians 10:13.. *** it-1 p. 126 apostasy ***.
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rubadubdub
BluesBrother wrote:
I am appalled at the attitude of many board member's wives who want to leave them when they renounce the WTS. That goes totally against scripture and official teaching of the B'org....Whatever happened to Christian values? Your comments about marriage and commitment are spot-on correct.
I am glad that you were won over to the truth ....and not the other way around !
Thank you for your support! The trend I saw was appalling to me as well, and that is why I gave thought to how I might speak up about it. I mulled it over for a few days, and then started typing. The result is what flowed from my fingers with little editing or revision. I wish you all the best in keeping your marriage together and winning over your wife to TTATT!
Rubbity
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SONG: Could I Live With This?
by abilenetexas inone of my favorite songwriters is chip taylor, jon voight's younger brother who is best known for writing the songs wild thing and angel of the morning.
chip wrote a gorgeous song called could i live with this which, i feel, epitomizes the whole group-think dilemma faced by jws.
i have printed the lyrics below, and shared a youtube link to a performance of the song by chip and lucinda williams.
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rubadubdub
abilenetexas, Thanks for the gift! I listened to the song and loved it!