Thanks Lost Gen! That's good advice. I have already mentioned to him that there are many belief systems.. i never say anything outright against the JW's. I am hoping that us demonstrating a loving non-JW family will also help.
Posts by LKM
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35I'm a stepmom to a little JW.... need advice...
by LKM ini am a new stepmom to an 8 year old boy whose mother is a jw pioneer.
my husband has been disfellowshipped for 2.5 years now.
i was part of the reason he left the organization for good, although he had stopped believing long before being kicked out.
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35
I'm a stepmom to a little JW.... need advice...
by LKM ini am a new stepmom to an 8 year old boy whose mother is a jw pioneer.
my husband has been disfellowshipped for 2.5 years now.
i was part of the reason he left the organization for good, although he had stopped believing long before being kicked out.
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LKM
Hi,
I am a new stepmom to an 8 year old boy whose mother is a JW pioneer. My husband has been disfellowshipped for 2.5 years now. I was part of the reason he left the organization for good, although he had stopped believing long before being kicked out.
My husband and I do not want our son to be coerced into being a JW, but his mother is sooo hard core in her beliefs. The first time I met her she handed me magazines and talked about me going to meetings with her. She wants to convert me so that I'll pressure my husband into coming back. And then her son's place in Paradise will be more secure. She is totally brainwashed.
Anyway, all 3 of us are trying to do what's best for the child and to provide him with as much love as possible. Her hold on her child is great. Often the boy will do something creative when he's with us (we have him 50% of the time) and then he'll go to his mom's house. When he comes back he feels guilty for whatever activities he did with us.. We even tried to sign him up for soccer and his mother went ape#$&@. She doesn't want us to read him books like C.S. Lewis's the Chronicles of Narnia. She doesn't want us to do anything for holidays....and so on and so forth.
We don't want to go to war with her headon b/c we feel like it would be bad for our boy. But on the other hand we want to steer him away from JWism as much as possible.
Any advice on how to do this would be much appreciated. I am just learning everything as I have always been "wordly." :)
Thanks!
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11
What's the point?
by LKM inhi, i'm not a jw, but am recently married to an disfellowshipped jw who does not believe in jw beliefs.
my stepson is being raised by his mother to be a jw.
ack!
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LKM
Hi, I'm not a JW, but am recently married to an disfellowshipped JW who does not believe in JW beliefs. My stepson is being raised by his mother to be a JW. Ack! I am learning all I can about the witnesses....
One thing I have been wondering:
why? Why is the Governing Body controling 7 million people in the way they do? What is the point? Money? Power? Something to do with Free Masonry? I have ruled out that they actually believe JW doctrine. I just want to know what the "point" of this cult is?
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11
Reinstatement...how long?
by LKM inhow long does it take for the elder's to respond to a letter of reinstatement?
is there a time range?.
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LKM
How long does it take for the elder's to respond to a letter of reinstatement? Is there a time range?
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
UGH. Honestly, I don't think he'll get reinstated. I am hoping (praying to any god that will listen) that at least one of his family members will eventually leave, just so he has SOMEONE that knew him before... that will talk to him again. I dread the day that his son begins to grapple with all of this. Its not fair for a child to have to go through.
I love my bf and I will not leave him. But I hate this cult. It is ridiculous.
Thank you once again for the replies. And I will be reading the books people recommended.
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
Thank you for your replies. The bf and I read all of the replies. We are united in our decision for him to try to get reinstated... But I will never study/be baptized. Anyway, we are confused about the order.... should we get married before reinstatement or after?
Facts:
1. we don't live together
2. I do not sleep at his house when his son is there
3. he has 50% court mandated custody
4. he will never go door to door again
5. he does not believe anything JW
6. We are doing this b/c he misses his family and wants to talk to them again.
7. His family has never met me.......but they know about me.
8. He got df'd 18 months ago b/c of me....
Thank you in advance for your replies.
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
Hello Everyone,
Thanks for the replies... and I wish I had time to respond to everyone. Here are some more details:
6 years of dating, but no living together. We live in different towns. His family does not know we are together. His son who is 8 is having real issues with non-jw's b/c his mother tells them that they are "worldly" which seems to be a euphenism for "devil worshipper". I will not hang out with his son again for another month. in the mean time, he is going to apply for reinstatement and I'm going to go to meetings so that when we surprise everyone by being married it will be easier for them to digest. Bf thinks that if I act "open" to it his family will accept us a little more. But its really more about his son not being so confused at such a long age.
Our plan as the child gets older is to guide him away from jwism and to make sure he doesn't get baptized before he knows what he's getting into. I know what I'm getting into and have had years to think about it. I know what I'm doing is crazy... but I feel strong enough.
I was raised in an AG church. There's not a mandated shunning, but it can be implied. Also, you can join fully in one day --- just accept Jesus into your heart. Ag church is way more fun than jw KH... but equally as controlling. I just don't think the shunning is extreme like in jwism.
I am about to go to the KH for the second time. I feel like everyone is viewing me as fresh meat. I know its my own mind, but I feel like everyone is wondering why the heck I'm there...and they are all eager to know (is that true?)...Do people ever just "show up" on their own to a KH meeting like they do at regular church? UGH! I feel so awkward. My plan is to go late and leave early. The bf said I only have to go to 8-10 meetings alone....just so word gets around that I'm going on my own. If we go together and they find out he's with a worldy woman he can't get reinstated. Seems so silly. I'll play the game, but I'm not sure it will be successful. Its worth a shot...for love.
We both have questions on how to deal with the son. We don't want him to get confused.... or have to choose. But it seems like the religion is forcing that upon him. Its really sad and tragic. Breaks my heart. Ever since I became non-religious I've been way happier and I love exploring everything about life...I love new experiences and living creatively. I'm trying to see this as an "experience" and not so heavy. Thanks for all of your comments and support ... I even appreciate those who are telling me to "run, run run the other way." I know why you are saying that. Off I go to meeting #2. SIGH
LKM
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
Gayle,
Yeah, I get the impression that everyone at the KH is super nice just for one reason: to get a convert. I really think JWism is a cult....and every time I drive by the KH I flip it off. (I know that might offend people...its just my truth). The thing is...I have been with my bf through the df'ing...and I can't believe ANYONE in their right mind would choose an organization over their child. Its been so painful to watch him go through losing everyone. And I guess the conclusion I've come to is that JW's are brainwashed. I know what I'm up against and it seems insane that I have to sit through meetings when I'd much rather be doing anything else..... But I have the hope of love and also the support of my guy (we're doing this for his son...my future step son...and also so he can speak to his family again.)
Thank you everyone!
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
Ah, wow! Thanks everyone... you all are good people. my friends and family don't really "get" this JW stuff.... so I don't talk too much about it. But you people seem to "know." I've read a lot about JWism so my first experience at the KH was exactly how I imagined it. My goal in attending meetingsis just to placate othersand not change anyone's mind through debate. My man was inactive before getting df'ed....He has a lot of anger towards the witnesses...and his family, but his son is being raised jw by his exwife. yeah, its a real sticky situation.
I left the first meeting early because I was so incredibly bored by the question and answer session with the Watchtower....and a lady followed me out to my car and asked if she could bring by a bible. I gave her my number, but she never called. I want a Bible so I don't have to share/engage with others....My boyfriend told me to arrive late and leave early...sit in the back....and to be polite and firm in saying "No" to a study.
Thanks to my previous religious experience I know how to "act the part" a little.... its just the services were way more interesting with an AG church...speaking in tounges, casting out satan, being slain in the spirit.... I got a little nostalgic reading the bible at the KH....
and....I digress :)
Anyway, thank you all for your responses... I feel encouraged.
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85
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM injust wanted to introduce myself.
i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.
i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.
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LKM
Hello,
Just wanted to introduce myself. I went to the KH for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow. I don't believe anything witnessy...(I was raised in the Assembly of God church and now the closest thing I "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man I'm in love with is a df'd JW (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (I can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, I'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised. I am not into the doctrine or interested in the Bible. I really am dreading going tomorrow.... mostly because the first time I just showed up alone and everyone seemed shocked that I didn't "come with anyone." I feel its a compromise I'm making for our relationship. I can go to a meeting here and there so he has the chance of speaking to his family again.... Sigh. Any suggestions of how to pull this off? I don't want to study. I just want to go to meetings to make things easier for him and his family. I'm a peace maker.
Thanks in advance for your replies!
LKM