So happy u are here. looking forward to reading your story. I used to lurke and cry too. U are lucky (lol) we all found each other.
wednesday
JoinedPosts by wednesday
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47
A newbie says hello
by Icansaylucky inhello, i've been a lurker for about a year now and finally decided to register and start posting.
i don't have time to tell my story right now, but plan on doing so soon.
i guess i'm putting it off as i'm not sure where to start without it being a book.
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JW loopholes for visiting DF'd relatives
by MegaDude ini've noticed in my own situation and others that even though we are df'd or da'd, that occasionally our holier than thou jehovah witness relatives will deem it "appropriate" to visit.
this is after months or years of shunning in some cases.
this christmas my non-jw cousin came to visit from houston and stayed with us a few days.
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wednesday
I know a lot of jws really hate the shunning thing, and will look for any excuse to see someone they really WANT to. If they did not like u that much to begin with, any excuse will do to not speak to u .However, there are some jws, who don't think for themselfs at all, and wont se u without an official ok for cong. Jws ar all different about this stuff. And it does matter WHO are, as is suspect in LB case. Also, think larc point about fading is good ,is does not force your family to make a choice..The WTC is however really cracking down on these loopholes.(note newest rules for shunning).This may take a few out, it would me. I would never stop speaking to my family.
Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 13:19:37
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How the Watchtower Manufactures Losers
by metatron inthe term loser is, admittedly, insulting.
ways because of years of damage done to my family that likely will never be reversible.. nevertheless, like a growing number of others, i have managed to repair some of the injury.
- unlike these sad cases:.
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wednesday
thanks for the well thought out sociological post. u are so right, the "new world" fantasy is really a drug notice i said "new world " I'm old
I tend to have similar problems as bro D , in that he can't figure out why any JW would ever hurt him.
sometimes i think we all have that problem with the org, expecting perfection , when there is none.Maybe if we just expected the elders to be corrupt and the org to be a a large corp. perhaps some of us(like me) would not have felt so betrayed by it.
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Disfellowshipped? I got a question
by sableindian inif a person is disfellowshipped, can they talk to anyone in the congregation?
and if not, what scripture says they (the disfellowshipped person) can not.
and, has anyone ever heard that an elder or someone else suggest a disfellowshipped person wear a letter "d" (the scarlett letter) when they go to public functions like an assembly?
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wednesday
as a free thinking jw, i often spoke to DF people. i did not do it in front of elders. But watch out, some DF people are so brain dead, they will REPORT u for talking to them. not kidding-
Many jw do not feel good about DF, esp when it involves smoking, young persons. They tend to really hate adulters, and if they could would have them wear a Scarlet A.
I think if they took a vote about whether to DF or not-probaly a lot of jw would vote against. probably not enough to change policy.
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What happens if a JW accepts transfusion secretly?
by Dacke inthen what's the big deal?
you're a jw and you whisper to the doctor that (hey, i accept a blood transfusion, but let's keep it confidetial).. you get your transfusion and you don't get disfellowshipped.
congratulations.
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wednesday
That might actualy be hard to do, unless u go out of your home town for surgery. Now they have the HLC at a lot of hospitals, i know 2 in this area that keep someone on call. So if u tel them u are a jw-they call her. Not only that, if they know u are a jw and u decide to accept a blood transfusion, they talk aobut it-like it was news worthy. then their is a problem with JW working in the hospital, They always find out about the jw when they check in-so if u take blood, they would know, and 'report" u.
It takes sometime hours for blood to transfuse, and it is quite likely someone would see u . it really isn't easy to get away with , unless u leave town.
Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 12:17:33
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wednesday
i would probably no be drawn to someone who's habits and culture were extremely different then mine. for example ,I'm caucasian, raised in working class home. I noticed i did not used to understand a lot of the sit coms , and now i know why. They were for the white collar person. I did not understand the humor ,or a lot of the situations. I would have found "friends " hard to relate to had i not gone to college and had a mixture of associates at the KH Once while in college (to get myself out of the wroking class )I took a developmental psychology class .There was a book written by someone who thought it odd and of note, that in poor people, the older kids often had to raise the younger. He thought this was so unheard of , well he thought he'd do a book on it. i did a paper on it, and had my psychology teacher laughing hysterically.
b/c i asked what planet this man lived on? As a poor working class person, i had alawys seen this "unusual occurence' and wondered why anyone thought it necessary to write a book on it. We had a nice laugh. BUT U SEE ,IT GAVE AWAY MY CLASS, CULTURE. Note, it is note done as much today, b/c people don't have 5-9 kids anymore.
I have notived that it is hard for a woman to marry "up" as they say. Unless she is very attractive-then that is very possible. Men do often marry "up" especially among JW b/c of the limited supply of men.
A lot of times these marriges do not work b/c as u age, well i have noticed I have become set in my ways and would not care to adapt to new things. Also, some things just do not appeal to me. I have on more thant one occasion worked with Nigerian women. I do not like to, b/c they are loud and bossy. They will tell u they are, and it is part of their culture. I once told one of them, "i don't
care what is ok in Nigeria, over here if u are loud and bossy, be prepared for the consequneces"
I once worked with a hispanic man who would never have dreamed of "cheating' on his wife, but he said it is common in their culture to go to prostitutes.He said common as in-they expect the wife to be ok with it. Now i know a lot of males may do this, but most do not expect their wifes to be ok with it.
while u are young, it is easier to adapt to different cultures. i have noticed i have less ability to adapt as i get older. i want a person that i have soemthing in common with for my marriage partner.
Strange enough, during the course of therapy, i have 'changed classes" as my doc told me. I now have more in commom with wihite middle america and less with my roots as a poor working class person.
Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 12:5:8
Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 12:5:56
Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 14:6:18
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wednesday
do u have a link? I tired to find a way from the site there to email it to a friend, but couldn't. my dgt in law will love this. weds
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Will they ever say "Peace and Security"?
by JH inwith all the trouble around the world, do you think that one day we will hear "peace and security".
we heard this so often when we were in the jw's, but no one knew how it could happen.
i don't see any peace in the horizon.
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wednesday
They were talking at a book study I went to about preparing to go under ground and how the congregation should not willingly offer information as to who was a dub and where they planned meetings
yes they have been doing this for years-since the 60's.and before. We were always warned to be at all meetings b/c that would be the only way we would know where the next meeting would be held.
I have thought the stopping of subs and restricing the availabilty of literature to be part of this , thus keeing info out of opposers hands.
I never thought the "peace and security" would be a one time statement. A lot of confusion exists about this with jws.
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Did they overlook you?
by JH inwith all the talking about visiting inactive ones, i wonder how many inactive people have not been visited yet?
if you weren't visited yet, could it be because they df'd you, and you don't know about it?
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wednesday
I somewhat doubt they will call on us. I expressed my feelings to the PO last fall when a family member was dying. He said"why don't u come back " i said that my life had been ruined by them and when they apologized to me, maybe i would come back. The response was , I needed to frogive the elders. We sort of let it drop, it will never happen of course. They never apologize to anyone.
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Adults and children with ADD /ADHD
by LyinEyes ini have been doing some research on the condition add/adhd and came across a list of names of people who have this condition.
this runs in my family and only recently have i been diagnosed with this , which was a real eye opener, and if only i had known about this as a child some things would have been more easily understood by my parents.
i have two children with this condition, and for the time being, have decided agaisnt medication for them.
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wednesday
I have 2 children. one was hyperactive and had ADD.it was very severe and he was truly suffering so we put him on ritalin. he did well on it. Then articles came out about the evil drugs and all and i decided to try natural. For my child it was a big mistake. He said to me"mommy i can think better with my medicine". He is an adult now, and still has ADD and is still hyperactive. he uses coffee to help control it. But it is a fine line-took much coffee and it makes him lose concentration.
My other son just had ADD and he did not take meds, but would have benefited from them. He struggled in school. For him, i should have ignored the latest rage in natural treatment and just gave him ritalin. He'd have been better off.
I have read and seen what advocates of both sides say. it really varies with the child.
I had ADD as a child, but at that time it was known as "slow learner". As an adult, i find coffee helps me a lot.