I've always found the practice of elders in a judicial committee involving fornication asking for detailed descriptions. Fornication is fornication. The more important questions would be -
How many times before you confessed?
Did you come to use or did someone else report you?
My story is similar to many - My JC was for fornication involving my wife and I. The incident happened just before we were married (engaged and wedding date was set). We went to the elders about 2 months after we were married.
I was completely floored! We were treated totally different than I expected. We were told by these 3 elders that they believed we were truly repentant, but they then said we had to be punished. Punished?!? First time offense that technically CANNOT be repeated! We lost all privileges. 2 weeks later, one of the elders on our JC who happened to also be our Book Study overseer asks me to read at the Book Study. WTF?!?
This truly opened my eyes. I knew then that the who process was BS.