It would have to be when my mother told me that her miserable life was all my fault because I was born. If she hadn't had me, then she would have ended up where she was. I was 13.
Pam
Posts by pamkw
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74What's The Worst Insult You've Ever Received?
by minimus ini think for me, it is if someone doesn't believe that what i say is sincere or honest.
i find that insulting.
what about you??
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18
Ozzie's Weekend Poll #54
by ozziepost innow who thought i'd forgotten, eh?
now you know old ozzie never forgets!!!!!
so, how's you weekend going?
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pamkw
Demons
As a kid, I had the demon fear really bad. That is why this new great teacher book they have out bothers me so much. I have only looked through part of it, and it is chalk full of how demons are stronger than we are, and how they get to us through the internet and movies, video games. After paragraphs and paragraphs of demons then there is one line that says God is stronger than demons.
When I was a kid I believed all this stuff, and thought the demons were following me everywhere. Some nights I would I would hide under my blankets and pray and pray for protection until I fell asleep. It didn't help that everytime something strange happened in our house, my mom would think it was demons (it couldn't be the house was over 100 years old and made noises.) And then she would burn a bunch of stuff to see if the noise would go away.
It took me many years to get over the demon fear.
Pam
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85
How Screwed Up Are You Because You Were A Jehovah's Witness???
by minimus inafter reading so many experiences about how being a jw affected a person's life, i wonder how your life has turned out because you were at one time a witness.
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pamkw
I don't blame every bad thing in my life on being raised jw. But I know if my mom had not been a witness she would have left my step-father. And my life would have been so much better. But because the elders told her that she was a bad wife, and that was why he wanted to molest her daughters, she didn't do anything. She was told God hates a divorce, and she didn't leave. If just one of those elders would have said, save your kids, run for your life! She would have done it. But no, she stayed. Now she brags about being married 34 years. 34 years in a living hell, but she thinks she so great for not getting divorce, and that God favors her somehow.
I regret the years I lost to the tower, and I regret losing my childhood. But I am doing great now, and I am the person I am today (someone I like very much) because of what I went through. Having said that, I still think there is more bad in than good in the wtbs, I tell everyone they should stay away.
Pam
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52
What was the "final straw" that made you leave the JW's ??????
by run dont walk inwhat happened or was said, that made you decide, enough is enough, i am out of here ?????
?
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pamkw
I was always a rebel. I was df when I was 19, then reinstated when I was 21. I tried for years to be perfect. But no one would forget my mistakes of the past. I was invisible. People in the congregation where I grew up loved my son, but could not remember my name. When I had my second son at 29 and was not df, some people quit talking to me anyway. so being lonely and unimportant I married the first man that would have me (not jw). I used him as a reason not to go to meetings. I got the internet in 1998. Then my mother started talking all the time about how I was killing her grandchildren. The guilt I felt was horrible. I thought I was such a bad mother, but I could not go back. I did not want to be treated like a non person anymore. So after having the internet for a year I decided to look up ex-jehovah's witness. And then I saw that the generation thing has been changed. I was so angry, but I also felt the guilt leave me. I was so overjoyed that I was not a bad parent, and I was not killing my children. I knew then I would never go back. Now I can hardly speak to my mom about religion. We tend to avoid the subject because I will not back down. My sister tried to turn me in when I started to go to a church. But the elders said I had been gone for so long (about 2 years then) that I didn't matter. It was like I never was, which was how the same way the acted when I was going.
Now I explore all any subject that interests me, and I am totally guilt free. Never been happier.
Pam
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15
Watchtower lunacy, circa 1950's
by logansrun inin the long and unusual history of the watchtower society there are many doctrines and rules that would make one wonder if the originator of them was high on crack or just escaped from the loony bin.
why, just by using the "search" feature on your watchtower cd-rom and typing in the most innocuous of words will many times lead to the most outlandish article that your imagination could ever conjure up.
i just typed in the word "hats" and see what i found...
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pamkw
You know making a person fell important is a bad thing. Respect for a woman? Ha! That is one of the dumbest thing I ever read. It is amazing how they can take something so harmless and tie it to the devil. And I always wondered why I had the demon fear so bad when I was a child.
Pam
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pamkw
The fact that they wait for people's lives to change. They get to people when they are down, be it from divorce or a death in the family. Then when the victim (interested one) is at their weakest point, they bring out all the great lines about living forever, or God making it better and suck them right in. In a normal situation the victim would not even talk to them, but given the sadness in their life, they listen. Then once snagged, it is hard to get out. That's how they got my grandma, she had just been widowed, and my mother who had just went through a bitter divorce.
Pam
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23
What did you miss the most while being a kid in the Borg?
by Jessica Rabbit inthe other day i was watching "charlie's angel's" (the weekly series from the '70's) on tvland.
it dawned on me how much i used to wish they had aired that show any night but thursdays.
maybe twice a year, if i was too sick to go to the meeting i would get my hour to watch my favorite star...farrah!
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pamkw
Having friends at school. I had to act like I didn't have any to keep my mom from making me feel guilty. And because I couldn't do birthdays or anything, I never got invited to anyone's house. My mom married a non-believer and we were poor so that left us out of any congregation activities.
I also missed Christmas, I always wished I could go to school and say I got this or that of Christmas. Having fun would have been nice too. But I wasn't allow to be a kid, I got baptized at 13.
Pam
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128
Inky got a letter from her son.............you have to read this
by Mulan inour niece, irene, who posts here as inky, sent me an email.
her 27 year old son is getting married in two weeks, and she posted a few days ago about how he didn't invite her to his wedding.. she told me i can post it as she doesn't want to read it again.. "dear mom.
i've needed to write this letter to you for some time now.
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pamkw
Calling it the brotherhood, makes it sound like the KKK or something. I am so sorry. I wonder if the young woman he is going to marry is really all that mild? Hopefully she will have a mind of her own, and show him that women need to be respected. I hope she takes his headship and shoves it where it belongs. That whole letter was a mean power trip, and designed to make him feel good about himself. Most abusers are that way.
Also, even if the elders are shown the letter, they will not be upset. That is what a good jw is supposed to do, make the offender feel so bad they will want to come back. They think shunning makes you miss them so much, you will beg to be let back in. Makes me want to run farther and faster.
Pam
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7
Can You Send me the scann of new book and brochure
by ALEX_2003 in.
please.
can you send me the scann of new book and brochure
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pamkw
How come none of the families are bi-racial, and why does the white family get the biggest picture?
You should see some of the pics inside the book, poor kids preaching on the school bus and walking away from other kids getting beat up. It is really a sad little book.
Pam
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7
Can You Send me the scann of new book and brochure
by ALEX_2003 in.
please.
can you send me the scann of new book and brochure
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pamkw
Here is the cover, it seems the model they use as Jesus now is not as good looking as in the past.