A bit of a long read this, but, enlightening ! :
(1/72)
29/03/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=CELEX:31996L0021 … EU: Food labels should say if Aspartine is
present. UK: Nonsense. Bloody red tape! (Linked to cancer, headaches and
seizures, even Pepsi USA stopped using it by 2015)
(2/72)
29/04/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:01996L0022-20081218&from=IT … EU: Ban on livestock growth-boosters with
hormonal, thyrostatic or beta-agonist effects (carcinogenic residue in meat).
UK: Aw come on – a little bit of cancer never hurt no-one.
(3/72)
03/06/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:31996L0035&from=EN … EU: Safety advisers dealing with transport of
dangerous goods on public roads etc must be properly trained and regulated. UK:
Bleedin elf’n’safety gorn mad. Wassamatta wiv a bit a toxic spillage across a
playground?
(4/72)
27/06/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A31996R1168 … EU: we need some conservation measures to
preserve North Atlantic fish stocks. UK: Ah Phooey. There’s plenty o’ fish in
the sea. We’ve even registered on the website.
(5/72)
22/07/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex:31996L0070 … EU: additives to mineral water must be safe
and labels must be honest (eg “spring water” has to come from an actual spring)
UK: This will kill our sales of Dell-boy Trotter’s “Peckham Spring Water”.
(6/72)
24/09/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:31996L0071&rid=2 … EU: posted workers must be given the same pay
and conditions as local workers. UK: You’re kidding! The whole POINT of posted
workers is to undercut the locals and undermine their employment rights.
(7/72)
09/12/1996 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A31996D0715 … EU: lets have a consistent approach to data
collection on goods traded between member states? UK: Hmm. That buggers up our
carousel fraud schemes, somewhat.
(8/72)
17/03/1997 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex:31997L0012 … EU: Lets tighten up on livestock health
checks, paperwork and traceability. UK: God, you’re not still pissed about that
mad cow thing? IT’S SORTED! Twust us – we’s Bwitish. ( Soon after: 10M animals
slaughtered during foot and mouth)
(9
& 10/72) 22/04/1997 & 26/06/1997 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=OJ:L:1997:106:TOC … EU: We still need to protect those fish
stocks. UK: Aww. Cant we just keep fishin’? There are so few left, we want to
catch as many as we can before they are ALL gone.
(11/72)
22/07/97 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:01997R1554-19970805 … EU: OK folks: lets have a single set of rules
about drying, powdering and labelling hops – instead of everyone making it up
as they go along. UK: We LIKE making it up as we go along. (Hopping mad now)
(12/72)
20/10/1997 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:31997R2087&from=en … EU: Don’t add tartaric acid to wine. And
here’s how tariffs on grapejuice from 3rd countries should be calculated. UK:
We LIKE adding dodgy things to wine. And the French, Spanish and Italian
winemakers should do what WE say!
(13/72)
11/12/1997 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:31997R2087&from=en … EU: firms from outside the EU may carry
passengers between destinations in the EU (cabbotage) without needing a registered
office in the EU. UK (1997): Not happy. UK (2021): Splendid idea.
(14/72)
16/12/1997 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:31997R2536 … EU: Lamb and sheep meat to be classified in a
consistent way as soon as possible after slaughter. UK: That violates the
English common law principle: “you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb”
(15/72)
16/02/1998 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:31998R0411 … EU: Trucks for livestock journeys over 8
hours must have bedding, feed, water, ventilation, partitions and access for
inspectors. UK: Why spend all that money? Innit all just meat on the plate at
the end of the day?
(16/72)
18/05/1998 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A31998R1048 … EU: This is a Gas
turbine/nomenclature/tariff/temporary partial thingy-me-wotsit. UK: If that’s
not worth dying in a ditch for, I don’t know what is.
(17/72)
19/06/2000 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:32000R1363&from=EN … EU: We are going to intervene in the sugar
market to create price stability and protect farm incomes. UK: We don’t like
it. (Be really cool if you reformed this system in, ooh say, 2006…)
(18/72)
04/12/2000 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/PDF/?uri=CELEX:32000R2699&from=EN … EU: These are our proposed subsidies for
fruit and veg growers. UK: We don’t like fruit and veg… can you subsidise
laxitives and Anusol instead?
(19/72)
29/01/2001 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/GA/TXT/?uri=CELEX:32001R0216 … EU: Let’s increase the tonnage of bananas we
take from ACP countries at the lower tariff rates? UK: NEVER! You may take our
blue passports, but you will never get your hands on our BANANANANANANANAS!
(20/72)
19/12/2001 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex:51999PC0744 … EU: After the mad cow thing and the dioxin
thing… maybe we should tighten up on compound feed and how it is labelled? UK:
Knee-jerk regulation is the wrong mooooohve.
(21/72)
27/06/2002 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=CELEX:32002R1177 … EU: South Korean State Aid for shipyards is
undercutting our yards on LNG tankers; time for countermeasures. UK: We
couldn’t care less about Danish shipyards; Thatcher destroyed all of the UK’s
about twenty years ago.
(22/72)
27/02/2003 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=COM:2001:0283:FIN … EU: we must ban the advertising of tobacco
products in printed media, radio, TV, events sponsorship etc. UK: just hang on
a mo’ – there’s good money in those deathsticks, you know.
(23/72)
03/06/2003 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:32003D1152 … EU: we must set up an EU-wide computer system
to combat evasion of excise duty on booze etc. UK: but we like evading taxes…
(24
& 25 /72) 22/07/2003 http://assets.panda.org/downloads/gmosadangertosustainableagriculture.pdf … EU: Proper labelling of food that uses
genetically modified ingredients – so consumers can decide not to buy them if
they are worried. UK: Bugger consumers! What they don’t know won’t harm ’em”
(26/72)
26/01/20014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/LexUriServ/LexUriServ.do?uri=CELEX:32004R0261:EN:HTML … EU: airlines should compensate passengers for
delayed or cancelled flights. UK: we don’t support this proposal because
…um…because…we are just utter, utter bastards.
(27/72)
28/02/2005 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/en/ALL/?uri=CELEX%3A32005R0374 … EU: In 2000 we dropped sugar tariffs for some
Balkans countries and we want to row that back a bit now. UK: NO! (We’re sweet
enough…)
(28/72)
07/05/2007 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Refugee_Fund … EU: Greece Italy and Spain are bearing
disproportionate costs housing asylum seekers – everyone should chip in to help
them? UK: Sod the Greeks! They shouldnt have put their country so close to the
Middle East.
(29/72)
07/05/2007 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=CELEX:52011DC0858 … EU: OK can you chip in to funding a programme
to help asylum seekers return home? UK: You ‘avin a giraffe, mate?
(30/72) 23/05/2007 Solidarity and
management of migration flows EU: Another whip-round needed; to help member
States in receiving, and in bearing the consequences of receiving, refugees and
displaced persons. UK: Why should WE help? A friend in need… can sod off!
(31/72)
30/05/2007 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:32007R0715 … EU: Common standard for emissions testing and
what maintenance information vehicle manufacturers should provide. UK: Aw – do
we have to? I mean…air polution only kills 36,000 in the UK each year. https://www.kcl.ac.uk/lsm/schools/population-health-and-environmental-sciences/newsrecords/air-pollution-could-cause-36000-deaths-a-year-in-the-uk.aspx …
(32/72)
24/09/2009https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/en/ALL/?uri=CELEX%3A32009R1107
EU: no pesticides that are; carcinogenic, mutagenic, toxic to reproduction,
sensitising chemicals, very toxic, explosive or corrosive. UK: EU spoil sports!
(33/72)
14/12/2010 https://publications.europa.eu/en/publication-detail/-/publication/f67f2a21-c752-11e1-b84a-01aa75ed71a1/language-en … EU: we need rule changes to allow us to do
development type stuff with middle-income countries (eg China, India &
various states that don’t meet the OECD criteria for “Official Development
Assistance”) UK “no” 1st reading & “Yes” 2nd
(34/72)
17/05/2011 https://oeilm.secure.europarl.europa.eu/oeil-mobile/summary/1148778?t=d&l=en … EU: There’s a potential period of legal limbo
between the expiry of current fisheries legal framework and start of the next
one. We need a temp. extension to cover the gap. UK: (“Fish? FISH? – ‘ad their
chips, their chips, hawhawhaw!”)
(35/72)
12/09/2011 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/LSU/?uri=CELEX%3A32011R1077 … EU: Lets create a new agency, eu-LISA, to
ensure 24/7 resilience in the IT systems that keep our borders safe (asylum
database, visa database, security, fingerprints, criminals). UK: We LIKE being
flooded with crim’s and asylum seekers.
(36/72)
27/10/2011 Apparently we voted against the EU budget for 2012. Except
this https://data.consilium.europa.eu/doc/document/ST-16201-2011-INIT/en/pdf … says we voted FOR. Whatevs.
(37/72)
30/11/2011 https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/236119/8232.pdf … EU: We need a 5% increase in budget. UK (and
NL): No not a penny more! EU: OK. How about no real terms increase, just
inflationary uplift? UK: Still not happy! EU: Soz.
(38/72)
14/02/2012 http://www.europarl.europa.eu/sides/getDoc.do?type=REPORT&reference=A7-2012-0032&language=EN … EU: We’ve funded food banks since 1987. 13M
people rely on them. Then SOMEONE blocked our budget increase last year. Can’t
we keep the funding going for another 12 months? UK: NO! Let the plebs starve;
the very sight of them affronts us.
(39/72)
09/03/2012 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32013D0258 … EU: The European Refugee Fund needs more
dosh, to help those countries that are bearing the brunt. UK: Having taken
moral and ethical advice from Voldemort, Sauron and Satan himself, our view is:
TOUGH SHIT!
(40/72)
26/07/2012 EU: We need more cash. https://blogs.ec.europa.eu/ECintheUK/the-uk-and-the-eu-budget-the-facts/ … EU: Our budget was 1.2% of members’ total GDP
10 years ago – now it’s 1%. Come on, members? (your national budgets have all
INCREASED as a %ge of GDP). UK: Not a penny. & everything is your fault,
& we hate you.
(41/72)
08/10/2012 http://register.consilium.europa.eu/doc/srv?l=EN&f=ST%2010090%202012%20REV%202 … EU: The Maritime Safety Agency needs
re-organising & more muscle to punish oil spills from ships and oil rigs.
UK: (Gulp! Probs OUR oil rigs.) WE OPPOSE!
(42/72) 21/11/2012 EU: We need a bit
more money – really. UK: We don’t care. This is an opportunity to grandstand
for our euroskeptic electorate over really tiny amounts of money.
(43/72) 10/12/2012 EU: We need about
£0.4Bn for 2012 (Or 4 DUP MP’s, if you prefer) UK: We don’t care. This is
ANOTHER opportunity to grandstand for our euroskeptic electorate over really
tiny amounts of money.
(44/72) 12/12/2012 EU: OK we have
trimmed it by about 10%. UK. Still don’t care!
(45/72)
26/02/2013 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32013R0228 … EU: Canary Islands, Azores, Madeira etc are
struggling due to their remoteness. Lets help them? UK: Tough titty – their
fault for being so remote. Can’t they be tax havens like Cayman and BVI?
(46
& 47/72 ) 24/06/2013 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex%3A32013R0575 … EU: We need prudential supervision of credit
institutions and investment firms so that stuff like Lehman’s and the 2008
crash don’t happen again. UK: Oh don’t worry. If the bankers go bust again,
taxpayers will bail em out.
(48&49)
UK budget grandstanding on tiny amounts. (50/72) 10/10/2013 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex:32013R1023 … EU: we want to make some changes to the
employment contract for EU staff. UK: they’re your staff – do what you
wan….Wait! We oppose! (Dunno why….)
(51,52,53) More pointless budget
grandstanding.
(54/72)
12/02/2014 https://data.consilium.europa.eu/doc/document/ST-6418-2014-INIT/en/pdf … EU: Fund our Hercule III programme to combat
irregularities, fraud and corruption affecting the EU budget. UK: Er…anti-fraud
you say…hmm… WE OPPOSE! (Soz.. just got to pop out and make a call…) see also:
(55/72)
11/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=celex:32014R0223 … EU: Let’s provide funds for the most deprived
– these people are really suffering. UK: Hey! We have been deliberately CAUSING
deprivation with our austerity programme – now you want to undo all that work!
WTF?
(56/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R0236 … EU: we need to agree rules for funding stuff
like development, democracy, human rights, European Neighbourhood. UK: every one
of those things is anathema to us.
(57/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=CELEX:32014R0230 … EU: We want to establish an instrument to
fund stability and peace in countries. UK: Stability and peace?! Wipe me arse
with them.
(58/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R0235 … EU: Lets establish a financing instrument for
the promotion of democracy and human rights around the world. UK: Sod off! Lets
establish an instrument to wipe out democracy and human rights in the UK. Call
it “Brexit”.
(59/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=uriserv:OJ.L_.2014.077.01.0077.01.ENG … EU: Lets establish an instrument for
co-operation with 3rd countries. UK: Co-operate on THIS, mofo!
(60/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex%3A32014R0233 … EU: Lets establish an instrument for
development cooperation. UK: Development. Cooperation. Aid. These words make
our skin burn.
(61/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/en/ALL/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R0232 … EU: Measures to reduce poverty, promote
development, trade, education and science in countries that border the EU? UK:
SOD DEVELOPMENT! SOD TRADE! SOD EDUCATION, SOD SCIENCE AND SOD ALLEVIATING
SODDING POVERTY!
(62/72)
12/03/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex%3A32014R0231 … EU: Help for pre-accession countries to get
ready for joining the EU. UK: SOD THE SODDING PRE-ACCESSION COUNTRIES! SOD ‘EM
TO HELL AND BACK!!
(63/72)
16/04/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/ALL/?uri=CELEX%3A32014L0054 … EU: Measures to give FOM workers protection
from exploitation. UK: But we WANT to exploit FOM workers – it helps keep our
UK-born workers under the thumb.
(64/72)
16/04/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R0423 … EU: Boring bit of housekeeping re staff
pensions, let’s hope no eejit takes this as an opportunity for pointless,
immature, grandstanding. UK: Someone mention my name?
(65/72)
16/04/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R0422 … EU: Same again re staff pensions, let’s hope
that eejit feels he’s made his point already. UK: Do you ever get that feeling
of déjà vu?
(66
& 67 /72) 30/09/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A32014R1141 … EU: Now (Cameron) no political donations from
dodgy Russians, Criminals or organised bicycle-seat sniffers. Farage? stop
spunking your expense account on “other stuff”! UK: Hey! political corruption
is an UK tradition, immemorial.
(68/72)
13/10/2014 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/eli/reg/2014/1144/oj … EU: Enhanced labelling for EU Agricultural
products; not just nutritional info, but also food safety, traceability,
authenticity, health, animal welfare, environment, sustainability. UK: Less
information consumers get, happier we’ll be.
(69/72) More budget grandstanding for
the Mail readers.
(70/72)
05/03/2015 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=celex:32015R0759 … EU: These measures will protect National
Statistical Authorities from interference by their National Governments. UK:
You think? Hahaha – one day we will put Rory Stewart in charge.
(71/72)
05/03/2015 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:32015R0758 … EU: Some rules about type approval of e-Call
systems (they automatically call 999 in a car crash) UK: More Euro-bollocks.
Wouldn’t have saved Diana, hawhawhaw.
(72/72)
23/06/2015 https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/en/TXT/?uri=CELEX%3A52015PC0569 … EU: The CJEU needs more judges to deal with a
big backlog of cases. UK: But we LIKE cases to wait ages. It means only the
wealthy – who can afford to wait – can get justice.
FINISHED!
