I often wonder what my life would have been if I hadn't shelved things, I can remember, but not firmly date, a few times when a question that rocked the teachings occurred to me, and yet I shelved it, shoved it to the back of my mind.
The first big one was when I was at mum's for lunch in around 1981, and she was telling me about some who had left the org. she said "They do not believe in 1914!" as though that would clinch things, but I remember thinking, but not saying of course, "I'm not sure I do". Why Oh Why did I not pursue that thought ?
I could have been free from that time, instead of about 25 years later !