Teens know exactly how to press their parents' buttons. Mine are all through it and out the other side now with no harm done on either side. They are good well-balanced adults.
Yes, there were many occasions I wished I'd done/said things differently but no human and no parent of a teen with attitude gets it right every time!
The biggest thing that made a difference for me was to apologise to my teen if I'd got it wrong. Words can crush and once they're out you can't get them back but apologising and saying 'I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry', makes a big difference. Many times it can cause the teen to apologise for their behaviour and you can start to get back on track with them.
Edit: just seen your second post DD!
Don't think 'mother' is ever going to apologise to us!!