jbeau504
JoinedPosts by jbeau504
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3
JW Membership (The Truth)
by jbeau504 inalright so i know this is a tricky subject.
but i'm curious to know right now more than anything.... i keep hearing that the number of jws around the world is growing.
is this true?
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jbeau504
Alright so I know this is a tricky subject. But i'm curious to know right now more than anything...
I keep hearing that the number of JWs around the world is growing. Is this true? Is JW membership increasing the same way Muslim and Baha'i membership is?
What's the story? Is this just fabricated info to boost morale in the organization or are there more people joining? Or is it somewhere in the middle (as many people joining as leaving, for instance)? It might seem like a pretty by-the-book, direct question but i've just been wondering ya'll.
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7
Love or Faith?
by jbeau504 insee, there was a young girl who i met at the post-funeral house party my family held after my aunt passed.
she was already a regular pioneer.
an elder's daughter, third-gen-jw, but far more dedicated than i ever was.
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jbeau504
@Disillusioned Lost-Lamb I'm not really a fanatic by any means, or the most uptight person but i'm not exactly opposed to marrying young. I mean young or old, it's the heart that matters right? I'm in my 20's, it's not like i'm some rebellious teenager. I get what you're saying though, but at the same time marriage wouldn't scare me, JW or non-JW.
I don't want to hurt her or freak out her elder father (and i don't want my family to feel embarrassed if something were to go wrong), but then again I might not 'break'. I mean, I talked to this one brother I went out in service with. He's very quiet, i dunno why but anyway he mentioned going through different 'trials' in his youth, and that once you spend enough time in the organization, no matter what doubts you have, they'll go away, you'll 'program' yourself into believing the truth, and you'll 'make the truth your own' so to speak. I think I know what he meant.
I know about the failed predictions of the watchtower society in the past, but I mean, there's good family people here, it can't all be bad, right? Maybe i'll learn to love it over time?
I can't stop thinking about her...
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7
Love or Faith?
by jbeau504 insee, there was a young girl who i met at the post-funeral house party my family held after my aunt passed.
she was already a regular pioneer.
an elder's daughter, third-gen-jw, but far more dedicated than i ever was.
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jbeau504
See, there was a young girl who I met at the post-funeral house party my family held after my aunt passed. She was already a regular pioneer. An elder's daughter, third-gen-JW, but far more dedicated than I ever was. I rarely talked to anyone at the KH, seeing as how 100% of the friendships I had before getting serious about the JWs were non-JWs. Meetings were odd. I ran into either awkward, anti-social personalities, or very snobby personalities who felt special because they were pioneers, well-read watchtower-heads, and ofcourse the sons & daughters of respected elders or other 'renowned' brothers. But I didnt care.
That pretty young girl, like everyone else, was always just 'another person to say hi to' whenever I went to the hall. I mostly talked to older folks, & only a few young 'peers'. But after a while, I began to slowly get attracted to this girl. She seemed....sexy to me. She isn't the supermodel type, but she has this pretty-mary-jane-girl-next-door thing goin' on. Right now I struggle with what I feel because it's too much of a stupid distraction. I feel weird even mentioning it..
But i'm kind of in love with her. Idk what it is. So i've begun to talk to her, off and on, as an 'aquaintance'. I haven't gotten serious and really spent time with her out in service so i don't know her as well as i could. Prayer always seemed like a bigger motivation to me than a girl, but sometimes she can just put a smile on my face. I'm scared if i 'do something' i'll get in trouble being an unbaptized publisher, her being baptized and her dad being an elder & all.
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18
My Story & Situation
by jbeau504 ini just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words.
despite what i've been told by the wbts, i have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-jws.
so thanks for the kindness.
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jbeau504
I'll do some research, stillthinking. I've been given so much to look over I'll see if I can find time to read up on it all. Ofcourse i'll be doing this stuff in secret but whatever I guess >.>...
Anyway, thanks for the advice stillthinking. I don't know if i'll be able to resolve all my issues right away but I appreciate your honest opinion. Funny thing is, I can see how you're happy. I've been told by the watchtower that your kind of path wouldn't logically make sense yet, once again, I don't believe that. I think it's great your happy. I don't know what you've been through but I hope you continue to have that peace of mind.
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18
My Story & Situation
by jbeau504 ini just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words.
despite what i've been told by the wbts, i have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-jws.
so thanks for the kindness.
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jbeau504
Wow. I was not really expecting this to be an active message board or for that matter for so many people to even give any answers or responses at all. So thanks to everyone.
@jwfacts I don't think I was clear enough before. I didn't even really take the time I should have to really delve into different htings. I think I kind of acted like a google-nut, just skimming through different things spastically like a fool, seeing different kinds of 'ism's' and religious movements all in one big blur. I think if I took more time, to slow down and really look into things carefully I would be different but...that's a what if. I think thinking of would have's, or could-have's would just give me a big headache.
@stillthinking I don't want to hurt my mentoror my family. At the same time, alot of what my identity is, and what I was 'defined' by, was what I was molded to be by the JWs even after I drifted away in highschool. My values, I mean, how I treat other people, and just my 'moral compas' so to speak is influenced by my JW background. So I guess, i just think i'd feel guilty backing out now. What would I do? It's hard to see myself as an agnostic.
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18
My Story & Situation
by jbeau504 ini just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words.
despite what i've been told by the wbts, i have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-jws.
so thanks for the kindness.
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jbeau504
Thanks for the answers.
@Billy I don't know how to describe this. Maybe i'm a human worm, I don't know! But I mean it's like I have this fear. I don't want to upset God. It's not like I don't disagree with some doctrines. But it's like, I feel if I turn my back on them now, i'll have to deal with too much pressure and stress to come back or rage directed at me for 'doing the wrong thing' so to speak.
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18
My Story & Situation
by jbeau504 ini just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words.
despite what i've been told by the wbts, i have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-jws.
so thanks for the kindness.
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jbeau504
I just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words. Despite what i've been told by the WBTS, I have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-JWs. So thanks for the kindness.
Anyway. I'm 22 years old and music has always been a good distraction for me seeing as how I haven't had the easiest life. Mmother divorced my non-JW father when I was an infant, and my alcoholic dad always seemed more like a distant boogie man than a father to me. I've always had an 'old mind', due to my experiences, and 'growing up fast' as the man in the house. Most of the people ive talked to or related to in my life have been older than me. With the exception of a few close friends, i've never been able to relate to any 'young' crowd. I've just always operated on a 'smarter' level than most people my age.
-Please note: my parents aren't the most effective JWs, as there's immense hypocrisy and moral flaws in their mindset. They are truely tortured people. As much as I love them, they've made alot of mistakes which have left them regretful and somewhat bitter in their lives. I never want to be like them.-
Before I studied the bible, I was an aspiring writer. I had established some connections to some local indie filmmakers, comic artists, etc. a bunch of different guys. Even some old highschool aquaintances (aquaintances, not friends). I'd written tv & movie scripts, short stories, poems and portions of potential novels. I had dreams, but then it all came to a halt. I also wrote songs, and wanted to start a band. There were 3 things in life I knew I never liked: politics, hate, and religious snobs. But I always had a profound "fear" of God. I had the energy and passion of a rebel youth but I guess you can say a laid back, more 'wise' nature of some old conservative monk lol. I was non-labeled, i was just me. I wanted a higher power to acknowledge. My parents never shunned me even though for years i kind of ignored the truth, atleast when I turned 14. As soon as i entered highschool I experimented, yet they never tried to shove anything down my throat.
I always believed in the supernatural, in a multiverse concept, in multiple gods of all theologies co-existing. I did this because i didn't believe that anything was really impossible. Angels, aliens, vampires, cosmic entities, teleportation, etc, etc. It was all possible at once. Why should one opinion be right? what if we're all right? But yet the way we interpret these supernatural beings in scripture are wrong? it seemed logical to me, and became my safety net emotionally and mentally for years. Even so, since I figured I could be in any one of these 'realities' and worship any god I pleased, I chose Islam. Before long I became more into it as a devout Muslim, Sunni Muslim to be exact. Yet the ritualistic aspect of it proved too hard for me to keep up with. Then I went farther east after researching Hinduism to discover the Baha'i Faith. I found for the first time a sense of community and self: something that was always lacking in the JWs. I was always treated like the 'black sheep'. I was hard to pin down into a label, so I couldn't be apart of this clique or the other. Yes believe it or not JWs have a clannish mentality, specifically young ones.
Then my aunt passed away. I became....desperate I guess. I became a hypocrite because I succumbed to what I never thought I would. I looked to the bible. The Baha'is did not believe in certain 'otherwordly' or supernatural answers, and I needed an answer of what would happen to my aunt. If I would see her again or not. She was like a second-mother to me (beyond my grandmother) and my answer came in a brother who was supportive of the family, an elder who is now my 'mentor'. It also came from a very pretty girl who came to my house for a small get together after my aunt's funeral. She was young like me but yet she was passionate about 'the truth'. She had her whole life ahead of her, she was smart and intelligent and funny and beautiful yet she dedicated herself to this life. So I asked myself, 'why'? I had to find out what this was all about as a man. So here I am. I feel good to be able to live a clean, moral life yet I feel doubts constantly. Add that to the fact that, on a less theological level, there's this stupid 'us and them' mentality in my congregation and i'm kinda at odds with what to do. Whew, this was long, lol sorry guys. But I just wanted to be honest with everyone here, and here from your experiences, and get your opinions. God bless!
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33
New to the board
by jbeau504 ini'm new to this board and looking to see what it's all about.
i'm currently an unbaptized publisher and third-generation jw, so for obvious reasons i can't give my real name due to personal concerns.
so from now on people can refer to me as "jimmy".
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jbeau504
Hello everyone. I'm new to this board and looking to see what it's all about. I'm currently an unbaptized publisher and third-generation JW, so for obvious reasons I can't give my real name due to personal concerns. So from now on people can refer to me as "Jimmy".
I'm not sure what to do here. Lol I just figured i'd post something to introduce myself to everyone. But anyway, i've read some of the posts on here and in my opinion they ARE quite interesting. So i'll have to put in my two cents every now and then for sure :].
I have a TOTALLY different opinion from others on here for obvious reasons (i'm not an ex-jw) but due to personal trauma in my life I may also have a different opinion than those that are in the organization as well. I'm kind of straddling the fence, so to speak. I'll elaborate more on that in another post.
But nice to meet everyone and god bless.
- Jimmy