I spent 20 years as an elder (off and on) but after the 1995 "generation" change, forced by the expiration date of the 80 year generation, I began to have very serious doubts, not just the normal jw doubts that all jw's have. I began to question just about everything and especially the many changes regarding 'blood fractions', more 'generation' changes, FDS is now the GB, etc. I was suffering from advanced cognitive dissonance and basically quit attending meetings and no FS at all.
Hi EU2BD,
That November 1995 issue of the WT is what did it for me too. I suffered a lot as a 12 & 13 year old when the end didn't come in '75. It took until I was 23 to trust again. Then at age 32 that generation article came out and so did my anger at the WT for presuming to speak in the name of God so presumptously. I immediatley rented my house out and moved off to get a university education. It was about another 8 years before I could trust God. When I finally did, I realized that really trusting God, apart from religion was totally foreign to me as a being, not just as an x-jw.
This realization came as quite a surprise because I was totally committed to "doing good" according to the watchtower for 8 years. Even though I had left the WT, I was still proud of what I thought was belief in God during my years of whloehearted service. Through a re-reading of the bible, I slowly came to realize that my WT experience was just another of my many rebellions against God and the gifts he had been trying to give me for a long time.
God is good.