Posts by pettygrudger

42

my first post in this forum

by trumangirl in

hello, just introducing myself.

i'm an inactive witness, been so for a few months now.

got put off mostly by 1914 being hammered more and more lately, the child molestation issue, the un-ngo thing and just feeling like i don't want to shoot my mouth off and get labelled apostate so best to fade out.

pettygrudger

Welcome to the forum trumangirl (what does that mean anyways?)

You sound well-versed in scripture - it shall be interesting to read your comments in the future

18

Should I be over it by now?

by astridkittie in

i was 16 when i disassociated myself from the jws after growing up in it, and i'm 20 now and still having issues with breaking the thought process i was brought up with.

i long ago realized the doctrine was wrong in the jws, but somehow i still find myself having issues with guilt whenever i stop to feel or act or think a way that's my own and not what someone else tells me i should feel/act/think.

other times i feel completely lost because i don't know how i'm supposed to feel or act or think at the moment and i know that's not the way i should be thinking, that there isn't a particular way i'm supposed to be inside, but... i still have the paranoia and the gut feeling that i'm doing wrong by being myself, so to speak.

pettygrudger

Welcome to the board Astrid!!!

I also was df'd at 16 - and never went back. It took a long time for me to "recover" from the ingrained paranoia & fear that one is raised in in that religion.

As far as your boyfriend being "right" - no, but his strength will help you see this through. Perhaps he should read some of the experiences here to realize just how traumatic it can be for those raised in this faith. Southern Baptist is another "extreme" religion, but even there, one's entire life support system (friends & family) is not taken away should a person make a mistake. While there are inheirent psychological phobia's that are engrained in one raised in either religion - the "truth" has the added bonus of "tangible" conditional love requirements (God vs. family).

And, how one recovers from the after effects of this type of trauma is different for every person. Your boyfriend is trying to help you - make you "snap out of it". It sounds like he means well. Dwelling isn't a good thing to do, but "dealing" is. The best thing you can do is to continue to study the "truth about the truth" - and you will find that this will go a LONG way to helping you retrain your thinking patterns. Guilt & self-worthlessness are engrained in every child raised as a JW. Being able to prove to yourself that it isn't supposed to be that way will help - and you will get passed this.

Again, Welcome to the board, and I look forward to reading more of your comments!

20

I've finally made a decision

by J.R.R.Watchtower in

hi friends!.

i've finally made a decision: i wil leave the wt in december 2004 or january 2005. please let me explain how i would manage this and i will also like to know your point of view or any other thing you would want to say.. i live in spain (as some of you know) in a city where there are 20 congregations.

i think that the elders would like to know the reason why i'm moving to another congregation.

pettygrudger

You don't have to tell anyone anything. Perhaps you wish to give your mother an "excuse", but that's as far as I would take it.

30

Test your morals

by Brummie in

jw
friends

be honest now!!!!!.

with all your honour and dignity, what would you do?

this test only has one question, but it's a very important one.. .

pettygrudger

Well, I'd save the fool, then I'd take my medal that I received and toss it over the White House fence in protest (course I'd probably throw someone else's medal - but I'd still make my point)

10

Jumping Off Cliffs

by pettygrudger in

jw
friends

while growing up, i can't remember the countless times my mother said "so, if you're friends all decided to jump off a cliff - would you?

" in response to my comment that all my friends were "doing it".. now, as an adult, i realize that the jw's do exactly the same thing, blindly following their predecessors, family & friends regardless of whether it's right or wrong, or whether it will be harmful to them mentally or emotionally.

perhaps that's an indication of society in general - ergo so many different cliques/groups/sects.. now that you've left the jw's, do you find that you still blindly follow?

pettygrudger

While growing up, I can't remember the countless times my mother said "So, if you're friends all decided to jump off a cliff - would you?" in response to my comment that all my friends were "doing it".

Now, as an adult, I realize that the JW's do EXACTLY the same thing, blindly following their predecessors, family & friends regardless of whether it's right or wrong, or whether it will be harmful to them mentally or emotionally. Perhaps that's an indication of society in general - ergo so many different cliques/groups/sects.

Now that you've left the JW's, do you find that you still blindly follow? Do you voice dissent/disagreement with friends/family when you have an opposing point of view? Have you found that you can disagree or do/be "something different" without fear of backlash or rejection? If you were one that required that of your friends/family - have you learned to "let go" of the expectations that everything be in perfect harmony and accord? Do you relish disagreement & different points of view?

I know I still have issues with that - but I'm definitely working on it.

11