Posts by mentalclarity

22

The Excuses JWs use for the child abuse mishandling issue...

by stuckinarut2 in

i have noticed a pattern of regurgitated excuses and justifications used by the average jw if the topic of child abuse gets raised:.

"oh but jehovah's organization is setting the lead in how to handle this issue".

"why are you getting so hung up on this one issue?

mentalclarity

The organization is made of imperfect humans. We need to focus on our own service and relationship with jah.

That's the response from my family anyways.

The thing that really irritates me (besides these horrible crimes themselves) is that for years witnesses really berated the catholics and other churches for their gross misconduct and how it showed that they (JWs) were superior. Why weren't the other churches made up of imperfect humans trying their best to serve god? I honestly cannot understand how people can stomach so much bullshit.

I also don't think JWs in general realize the extent of the child abuse. They think it's some isolated incident here or there and don't realize how the policies do nothing to protect kids in congregations at all. I really feel they haven't connected the dots here because most witnesses I know are super protective of their kids.

46

What is the most troubling or disturbing biblical passage you ever had to rationalise when a Jw?

by stuckinarut2 in

now that we have stepped away from the jw faith, how do you feel about the bible itself?.

what about those awkward sections of scripture?

how did you rationalise or justify those sections?.

mentalclarity

The scripture about the 144,000- All of the other scriptures in Revelation were meant to be taken symbolically but for some odd reason this one was literal. Yeah, that was a hard sell.

80

Are we losing our way a bit at JWN?

by nicolaou in

firstly, i want to be crystal clear how grateful i am for jwn.

it's been my place of support for over seventeen years and it's the first online space i direct anyone to if they are taking steps out of the cult.

i am not bashing jwn - i love this place and appreciate the hard work and expense simon puts in to keep it going.

mentalclarity

I think part of it has to do that there are more people actively commenting on the political posts. Maybe we can think of a way to keep those separate and not show up in the latest/hottest topics because it tends to bury all the jw posts that not too many comment on.

Personally I don't mind the politics - they might interest me more than a post on scandals/doctrines/whatever JWs are doing now because I frankly I don't really care too much what JWs are doing now. But I've been out for almost a decade.

I think this site is important for all ex jws at different stages- those lurking/those who have just awoken/those of us who have been out a while. We can all share some of our experiences and let people know "hey, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...it's all going to be ok. and provide support to those that have been literally abandoned by everyone they know.

But we all have different interests and posts that grab our attention- again, maybe it's a question of not including the political posts in what's been commented on last. I guess that would be a whole change in the system on how topics are listed so I'm not even sure that can be done.

20

Celebrating a birthday for the 1st time

by Whynot in

after almost a year of thinking and eh feeling, not sure... i decided to throw a small birthday party for my son.

this feels so strange, i have never been to a birthday party.

my husband doesn't feel comfortable with it but he decided to play along lol.

mentalclarity

Don't worry. It gets better. I have become somewhat of an expert.

I find that with boys it works best to have an activity themed party. We've done rock climbing, laser tag, bowling, paint ball, roller skating. They invite a couple of friends (so it's not too pricey) and I bring a cake and buy pizza.

Most of my mommy friends do the same for their kids. It takes the pressure off having to organize an itinerary of activities to keep them entertained and lots of little boys running around your house can get a little crazy. Especially with a sugar high going on.

Enjoy it- takes pics and make memories for those kids that they can look back at and cherish. That's what birthdays are all about. It really is all about them that day.

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

mentalclarity

Great post. I completely agree- especially as a born-in they set you up to this "learned helplessness" where you never develop your own decision making process and instead are dependent on literature for answers instead of reflecting on trial and error and the results of your own experiences.

I can honestly say that I had the emotional make up of a teen when I woke up at 30. It's taken me years to really start thinking and making decisions like an adult. My jw upbringing really stunted me in many ways.

12

Relative rates of mental illness

by Doug Mason in

a report produced 50 years ago by a psychiatrist at a west australian mental health facility ("asylum"l reported that the mental illness rate among jws was 3 times the norm of society.

other similar studies at the time concluded the rate was much higher.. i wrote to the psychiatrist at the time, asking whether the wts attracted people who were already susceptible to mental illness or if the situation was created after the person became a jw.

he responded that they did not know.. being myopically focused on the wts at the time, but more importantly belonging to an alternative eschatological apocalyptic body at the time, i did not think more broadly.. i think that today i would like to know:.

mentalclarity

I don't know any stats or research but I can say that when I started to wake up I realized that there were many, like myself, who suffered from depression. I don't know if they came into the religion depressed, but certainly getting the canned response to "pray and go out in service more" for every issue didn't help. Praying and going out in service didn't help my failing marriage or the fact that we always had financial issues due to shitty jobs because of lack of education or a myriad of other problems in my life. It can be incredibly frustrating and taxing on a person's mental health to be "waiting on Jah" for years instead of taking actual steps to remedy a situation.

I also feel that people feel a false sense of acceptance in the congregations when they first start studying that often attracts people with mental health issues who might feel rejected elsewhere.

13

Getting Married to a Non-JW

by LaurenM in

so i just got engaged to my boyfriend of over a year.

my jw parents still don't know about him.

i'm currently faded, so they know i'm not a practicing jw, but i am baptized.

mentalclarity

I married a non jw while inactive. I didn't get df'ed but my family did not attend because they were told they could lose their privileges if they did. My wedding wasn't in a church or anything btw. I think this is pretty much the position of the wtbs. One person in my family did attend but they had no privileges to lose so they really didn't care about the risk.

16

On this Fathers Day...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

i have never really spoken on social media about my jw family shunning me.

i didnt even discuss or answer any questions about why they didnt come to my wedding, my birthday parties, why there are never any pics of them with me/us together.

until today.... today i woke up and had this insane desire to be open.

mentalclarity

That was bold😀 this treatment is awful.

None of my family came to my wedding either. I know what it's like to try to explain why to incredulous inlaws who were too kind to delve further. I hope you feel better.

6

JW Convention Bingo

by Tallon in

came across this on exjw reddit and i cracked up laughing.. for those who are still required to attend the convention for one reason or another here is something that could liven up the day - jw convention bingo.

.

it would be hilarious if someone were to jump up and shout bingo!

mentalclarity

That's hilarious! I love the "Experience sounds totally made up." Brings back so many memories...

33

Jesus with an iPad. Really?

by punkofnice in

at a local meeting, one of the elders said that if jesus were on the earth today 'you can be sure' he would be preaching by showing videos on a tablet.. i kid you not.. i wonder what videos he'd be playing?.

obviously this was the elder's own pet theory.

wasn't it?.

mentalclarity

Why would this be surprising from a JW elder? I mean, weren't the bible students famous for those recordings they used at the door? Seems like a natural progression of things to me (at least from a jw standpoint)