I married a non jw while inactive. I didn't get df'ed but my family did not attend because they were told they could lose their privileges if they did. My wedding wasn't in a church or anything btw. I think this is pretty much the position of the wtbs. One person in my family did attend but they had no privileges to lose so they really didn't care about the risk.
mentalclarity
JoinedPosts by mentalclarity
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13
Getting Married to a Non-JW
by LaurenM inso i just got engaged to my boyfriend of over a year.
my jw parents still don't know about him.
i'm currently faded, so they know i'm not a practicing jw, but i am baptized.
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On this Fathers Day...
by babygirl30 ini have never really spoken on social media about my jw family shunning me.
i didnt even discuss or answer any questions about why they didnt come to my wedding, my birthday parties, why there are never any pics of them with me/us together.
until today.... today i woke up and had this insane desire to be open.
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mentalclarity
That was boldđ this treatment is awful.
None of my family came to my wedding either. I know what it's like to try to explain why to incredulous inlaws who were too kind to delve further. I hope you feel better.
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JW Convention Bingo
by Tallon incame across this on exjw reddit and i cracked up laughing.. for those who are still required to attend the convention for one reason or another here is something that could liven up the day - jw convention bingo.
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it would be hilarious if someone were to jump up and shout bingo!
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mentalclarity
That's hilarious! I love the "Experience sounds totally made up." Brings back so many memories...
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Jesus with an iPad. Really?
by punkofnice inat a local meeting, one of the elders said that if jesus were on the earth today 'you can be sure' he would be preaching by showing videos on a tablet.. i kid you not.. i wonder what videos he'd be playing?.
obviously this was the elder's own pet theory.
wasn't it?.
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mentalclarity
Why would this be surprising from a JW elder? I mean, weren't the bible students famous for those recordings they used at the door? Seems like a natural progression of things to me (at least from a jw standpoint)
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Born ins: did you have "near life experiences"?
by truthseeker ini recently watched the 90s movie fight club for the first time and heard the phrase "near life experience.".
for me, a different definition of this phrase would be someone who grew up in the truth and led a very secluded and restricted life (like me) but on rare occasions actually experienced something that was considered quite normal by most people.. growing up in "the troof" was depressing.
it was characterized by long periods of loneliness.
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mentalclarity
My mom was a single mom so I had alot of time on my own and I was allowed as a child to play with "worldly" kids so I was the kid who was at the neighbor's house or outside the whole time until dark. I can think of a couple of great moments with these families- I got to decorate the xmas tree when I was 10 years old with my neighbors. Had absolutely no guilt about this. I remember thinking as a kid how there was nothing wrong with this.
I often went swimming at the Elks lodge with the kids (their dad would take us). I remember long hot summer days at the pool fondly.
It's these glimpses of how non JWs lived that stuck with me throughout life and I could never believe the whole "all worldly people are shooting up drugs, immoral, dishonest" narrative that JWs preached and I knew that even as a non jw I could lead a pretty decent and normal life.
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Disfellowshiped- reinstated- damaged
by Damaged indonât know how i ended up here but no one who understands will listen, or any one who will listen doesnât understand.
i grew up in the âtruthâ, i was baptised at 17 as it was encouraged by the elders.
i really didnât understand what i was getting into.
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mentalclarity
Hi Damaged and welcome! You're absolutely right to question people's "friendship" after being reinstated. It's all fake and based on announcement made off the stage. That's crazy, right? Except you have all these people taking it as law. It's not really based on repentance or if a person is doing good deeds- it's kind of the luck of the draw. So many people in the halls doing all kinds of stuff and nothing happening to them and people getting df'ed for posting something on facebook (this happened in a congregation I know of).
I always think the reason alot of people, including myself, left the organization is actually because we were too loving. My conscience just didn't allow me to continue to judge and treat people like shit arbitrarily relying on made up rules in a magazine. It just didn't make any sense to me. And now, as a parent, the whole df'ing method makes even less sense. I am so lucky that I left when I did because the treatment of my children when they make a mistake is such a far cry from how I was taught to do things. I love and accompany my kids when they are going through difficult times - even when they are suffering consequences of bad choices. I don't withhold my love or my presence- sometimes people just need to be heard and accompanied while they go through stuff-which is the exact opposite of DF'ing. It's no wonder it's so psychologically damaging.
Thanks for sharing your story and I just count my blessings I'm not involved with that crazy behavior towards people.
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My son graduated last Friday
by Captain Schmideo2 ini have talked about him before on this forum.
he is now a graduate from mit!.
it was a lovely weekend.. i got to meet some of the friends he has made in the past four years, and some of their families.. they were very nice, decent, friendly, and enjoyable people.
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mentalclarity
Wow- MIT-lots of great opportunities for him in the future.
Congrats!
Nice that you were able to socialize with some of the other families - people in general are pretty decent despite what we were told.
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Gifts for Father's Day?
by mentalclarity inanyone have any suggestions for gifts for father's day?
it happens to coincide with my boyfriend's birthday so i want it to be special but i'm kind of running out of ideas.
budget- up tp $150.
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mentalclarity
@Scully - like the car wash idea!
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Gifts for Father's Day?
by mentalclarity inanyone have any suggestions for gifts for father's day?
it happens to coincide with my boyfriend's birthday so i want it to be special but i'm kind of running out of ideas.
budget- up tp $150.
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mentalclarity
@dubstepped haha-he owns an instapot (and a bread maker too) But I'll check out the gourmet cooking stuff.
@Done- I had no idea what a leatherman was! That's pretty awesome!
I'm not sure if I would get him a gun but I'd definitely go to a pistol range with him - he'd love that.
Thanks for the input!
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Gifts for Father's Day?
by mentalclarity inanyone have any suggestions for gifts for father's day?
it happens to coincide with my boyfriend's birthday so i want it to be special but i'm kind of running out of ideas.
budget- up tp $150.
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mentalclarity
Ok - all good ideas-thank you!
I thought about the earphones for iPhone since he likes to listen to podcasts-talk radio while he works. I think the gift certificates are practical and that's my "go-to" gift with coworkers and friends but I want to put some more thought into it for him.
He's not an outdoorsman-He's more of an intellectual/cerebral type and he has an engineering degree. So he loves building stuff (especially electronic gizmos) He likes Star Trek-Next Generation (not fanatically-lol) and war movies. I got him the Band of Brothers series for a gift a few years ago
The drill would be a great gift but he has several already. Home depot is like his Disneyworld for adults-can spend hours there.
If I asked he'd probably say "anything" but I know he likes me too cook for him because i'm a pretty good cook and as a single guy home cooked meals are kind of a treat.