Anna Marina,
Something in the story is not adding up.
So you said that this person has been questioning the WT doctrine for many years, doesn't want to listen to the elders, and doesn't want to come to a judicial committee. Then why is he still a JW? Why has he not disassociated himself yet?
If he's worried about people shunning him or losing his family, then why is he openly doing things that can risk his expulsion?
What does he actually want?
You can't be a JW and question their doctrine, and still expect to remain a JW, without any repercussions.
Also, he needs to remember that elders are not the ones who have framed the WT policies. They are simply security guards with handguns who are authorized to shoot you down if you are found suspicious.