My best friend's uncle started his fade 10 years ago. He just stopped attending meetings all together. The elders were on him for a good year and a half, but he wouldn't even give them an inch. He always made excuses and used the same "If I need anything, you'd be the first one I'd call." Then he claimed he had super long hours at work (which wasn't a lie) and was depressed. After a while,they just gave up. His family doesn't shun him at all, but the rumor mill at the congregation made him a social pariah.
Posts by Sorry
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35Question for those that have been Disfellowshiped for apostasy VS succesfully fading
by NikL inthere are quite a few here who have been disfellowshipped for apostasy.. then there are those that have successfully faded.. why the different outcome?
are the ones that got df more out spoken?
or does the discrepancy lie with the elders?.
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24
black dog comes to visit
by zeb indear friends,.
once again my depression has got the better of me and i must bow out for a time.. "the angels sang glory to god in the highest and on earth peace unto men of goodwill'.
so if that means at this special time of the year then have a happy and safe christmas time all of you.. hugs.
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Sorry
Take care zeb. Will never forget your words of kindness to me in my anxiety and depression thread. If you need any help or someone to talk to, we're here.
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15
JW Apprentice in Hair Salon.
by Disassociated Lady 2 inmy hairdresser warned me that he had taken on a jw apprentice and asked me what i thought.
she attends the kh that disfellowhipped me.
i told him that i would have to be careful about what i said concerning my personal life as she would report back anything she heard to the elders.
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Sorry
The hypocrisy is astounding. We all know those JW's who live for snitching to the elders. Had a couple of them in our old congregation during high school. And they wondered why they were an outcast at school AND at the hall lol.
And sorry if I sound slow (haven't been here too long), but are you officially df, da or were you reinstated only to fade again? Because if you were df'd or da'd (like your name implies), why are you worried about what's she reporting to the elders? Screw her and her self righteousness.
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68
Elder wants to stop by with the CO for a visit .
by NikL inso i got a text from an elder who i consider one of the good guys and a friend in his own way.. he asked if he could bring the co by for a visit.
he said it would be "just a pleasant call and visit and will hopefully encourage my wife".
he says that "he knows she is dealing with a ton of pressure".. in all my years around the organization, i never had a visit from the circuit overseer.
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Sorry
Based off of the experiences in my own hall, the elder will more likely than not just leave you alone, especially if you're "bad association". A man in our Cong has been inactive for nearly a decade, his wife has periods where she isn't super active and her fs dwindles. Thanks to his wife's blabbermouth and constant complaints about their situation, the family's reputation is in the gutter as far as the local JWs are concerned. Even then, the elders always make a call to the wife whenever her fs slows down. After all this time and the rumors about him, they don't even look his way anymore. They gave up. She complains about that too.
Nik, if this elder is friendly with you, chances are they are actually there for your wife. Since you haven't done anything, I wouldn't worry about it.
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29
Do any of the governing body of JWs exercise their conscience?
by Half banana inthe members of the governing body, by being at the reins of a large corporation, must be confronted with situations which force them to think about the validity of their doctrines.. the australian royal commission hearing must have highlighted for the gb, especially jackson, the rational inconsistency of using an iron age dictum of "two witnesses" in a world which has moved beyond such rough justice.
today we have a scientific approach, we examine forensically, we have psychologists who can tell us about individual's minds and behaviour.
today, children's voices are not ignored.. the first and last resort of jws and their leaders is the doctrine of the "inerrancy of the bible".
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Sorry
No. The GB are old egomaniacs that are out of touch with reality. And how could they not? They've had infinite power over the lives of 8 million people for decades. The lower ranks has them completely gassed up, and as a result, they remove anyone who has the slightest criticism. Maybe they did have a conscience once upon a time, but it's definitely withered away after all this time.
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31
Living with Your Parents Well Into Adulthood the Norm?
by Sorry ini don't want to seem like a jerk.
i know full well economic times are not the greatest.
there's no shame in struggling and staying with your family until you're back on your feet.
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Sorry
Thank you all for your responses. Like most of you have said, economic times are tough, and I agree there's no shame with asking for help. However, I can't help but feel for Witnesses who are up in age and are solely dependent on their parents.
The three daughters I mentioned in the OP have lived with their parents their whole lives. The eldest is 42 and has never been married or had kids. Whenever I'm in service with her, she brags about living simply, having all her expenses taken care of and spending all her days in field service. She keeps telling me I should never move out. Her parents are in their mid to late 70s, what will the girls do when their parents pass? Makes me sad because they are actually nice people. I can't imagine being 42 and never being on your own or the only bill you've ever paid was your car insurance.
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31
Living with Your Parents Well Into Adulthood the Norm?
by Sorry ini don't want to seem like a jerk.
i know full well economic times are not the greatest.
there's no shame in struggling and staying with your family until you're back on your feet.
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Sorry
I don't want to seem like a jerk. I know full well economic times are not the greatest. There's no shame in struggling and staying with your family until you're back on your feet. However, I notice that, at least in my congregation as well as neighboring ones, that the adult children still stay with their parents infinitely. It's even encouraged. Especially the women. Three girls, all daughters of an elder, all live with their parents. The youngest one is 33. All work part time jobs with the bare minimum hours, and devote majority of the time auxiliary pioneering. They seem to have no plans on moving out. Similar to a brother, 29, brown-nosing to become a MS. He seemed to become more independent, then abruptly quit his job to pioneer full time and reach out. He tells the teens with parents in the truth to just stay at home and pioneer. "Why get a job when Jehovah will bless you for putting him first?" he says.
I personally believe you should stay with your parents until you're financially stable. Not the best idea to move out barely graduated from high school with little money resources. However, staying with your parents into your 30s and 40s isn't right either, especially if you're not even willing to obtain employment. I pray that is only my area and personal experience and not everywhere JW. Seems you never leave your parents unless you get married or they die. If you willingly leave on your own and get a job, you're the crazy one.
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36
WELL BEARDS ARE STILL A NO NO!!!!!!
by DwainBowman inwell beards are still a no no!!!!!!.
in a new letter from the branch/gb nut's, beards are not acceptable in the us branch area!!!!!!.
my eldub brother in law, shared this today.
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Sorry
Welp, if that article a couple of weeks ago wasn't indication enough, now it's obvious. One thing I will give them credit for, at least they were straightforward this time. None of that passive aggressive "conscience matter" crap.
All the child abuse cases, and the Society is worried about some damn facial hair...
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15
Oh, How to Choose What to Follow in the Mosaic Law...
by Sorry inmy sarcasm will get me df'd one day.
after being disgusted by the bs of the sunday meeting, i chatted with one inactive brother came back for that one meeting.
i can't exactly remember how it came up, but he told me and a sister whose a close friend of mine that she shouldn't be so uptight, we're no longer under the mosaic law.
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Sorry
My sarcasm will get me DF'd one day. After being disgusted by the BS of the Sunday meeting, I chatted with one inactive brother came back for that one meeting. I can't exactly remember how it came up, but he told me and a sister whose a close friend of mine that she shouldn't be so uptight, we're no longer under the Mosaic law. (She has a reputation for being uptight due to being a MS daughter, but she's one of the most liberal JWs. She talks to her DA'd brother on a regular basis and enjoys my jabs at the GB and WT)
He was joking, but then she goes into a long diatribe about how we're suppose to still use it as a guideline. That there's many good principals to abide by. I decide to kid around a bit to let her know we're just playing. I say "Oh yes, such a good guideline. Maybe we should stop wearing clothes since they're all a mix of wools. Better yet, let's just grow out beards like Jesus did. After all, we go for to door just like he did. Shouldn't we imitate him?" Both the brother and sister cackled. Then her face turned white as a ghost; her father came up right beside me.
He reminded me that we just had an article two weeks ago about beards and how it's a conscience matter. 1 Corinthians 10:23 "all things lawful are not advantageous". We should put our "personal rights" aside and worry about stumbling someone. As if he's reading my mind, he brings up the fact that while we are no longer under the Mosaic law, we still need to use it as a guideline. He used the exact same wording as his daughter. I asked him "Since we're not officially under it but we can use it as a guideline, wouldn't everything be a conscience matter?" He looks uncomfortable, then mumbles "That's for Jehovah's spirit vessels in Brooklyn to decide." "Don't you mean Warwick, Brother... " "Of course."
I was glad we had that exchange though, because my friend called me this morning and told me she thought a lot about what I've been telling her lately, and I'm making sense, maybe I'm right. She's going to do more research about it. Hopefully, she'll wake up to TTATT. Feels good...
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141
Do You Remember When JWs Relished Explaining Their Beliefs?
by minimus ini bet most witnesses could not explain their blood policy, their understanding of the slave, and even simple biblical doctrines....they are an embarrassment to any old timer..
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Sorry
A Believer, you seem perfectly confident in your beliefs. Would you be kind enough to explain in detail why the preaching work is effective even though JWs can't keep up with the current birth rate, the ever changing policy on blood (no blood to receiving components of it), and the most confusing one of all, the overlapping generations.
Remember, the Watchtower even said "old light should never contradict new light."