Posts by Wishididntknow

27

I can't believe it, but a kid got marked for having worldy friends.

by Knowsnothing in

it's true.

last night, a kid got marked for having worldy friends.

the usual no friendship with the world texts made its way in.

Wishididntknow

when I was in my early 20's I was marked for the same thing. Except I wasnt there for the talk. I didnt even know I was marked until a gathering and brothers from the elder body and MS started to leave. I found out from the host that they said they left since I was marked.

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

I want to know that my life is real
And feel the things I need to feel,
I want to grow, I want to thrive,
I want to live before I die!

Diana Glen-

What a great Quote

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

The thing is, now you know. The question is, what will you do. That answer is unique to each person and I hope whatever decision you make, you realize it is yours to make just as the consequences are yours to bear

You are correct, time will tell. This is all so very new to me.

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

Hey Fernando

What does this mean?

I was diagnosed with PTSD (common with cults) and had psychotherapy, CBT and EMDRAA all of which really helped.

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

47

What did you/do you think about at the meetings?

by tornapart in

jw
friends

if you still go or remember the days when you did what did you think about while you were sat there?

obviously it's very difficult to concentrate.. lol..assemblies i find impossible and have often drifted off to sleep, listening to the endless same old stuff.. .

and i want some funny stories.. .

Wishididntknow

LOL

used to daydream about sex, or winning the lottery, but I generally just dozed off.

19

Wish I didnt know....Part 1 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

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Wishididntknow

Part 2 is posted. :)

20

Wish I didnt know....Part 2 My Story

by Wishididntknow in

after a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs i started to think about coming back.

i couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause.

i felt that there was a target on my back and the big a would surely come before i could get my act together.

Wishididntknow

After a terrible break up and being away from the congregation for about 10yrs I started to think about coming back. I couldnt even watch the news anymore because of the termendous anxiety it would cause. I felt that there was a target on my back and the big A would surely come before I could get my act together. about 3 yrs ago I was at a party. A friend of mine started to date a new girl. SHe brought friends....One of those friends was Jen (not real name). When I was in the congregation, I was friends with her brother. We spent the entire night in the corner catching up. She was DF'd. Her husband had killed himself and she ended up in a moment of weakness commiting fornication. She had been out for about 2 yrs and was having a hard time getting reinstated. Since she was dating a non believer the elders were giving her a tough time.

Anyway, She had said some things a bout was was going on in the congregation. Especially about how things were speeding up, we didnt have a book study anymore, and how so many of my old friends were in her hall that I grew up with. When the memorial came around, I went to her congregation. I then went to the special talk, and then I began attending meetings again. I remember one talk that was given was focused on getting back to Jah....I felt like the speaker knew me and was talking to me.... It had been about a year since I broke off my engagement. It was a rough one too....I was feeling lonely and depressed.

Even though I was df'd, the friends in the hall were friendly. Obviously no one chatted wth me, but I would be coming from deep in the parking lot and one of the friends would be holding the door open with a big smile on their face... Or I would get the walk by pat on the shoulder or back when I sat in a Isle. The elders met with me... One of the brothers was so warm and loving. His son was df'd for a long time. I can tell he was pulling for me. After 6mos, I put my letter in. The elders met with me but didnt tell me anything right away. What was weird this time they prayed with me. They other 2 times we met they didnt. In turns out since I was gone so long they needed to write the society since the congregation i was orginally in reorganized. About 8 weeks later I was reinstated. It was a great feeling.

About 6 mos after being reinstated. My ex shows up at my door Hysterical crying. She told me that she wanted to work things out. Long story short, I told her that I could not trust her and that I was back in the congregation. She began to ask alot of questions, she could tell some thing was different about me. After a few weeks, I put her interest in the right perspective, and a pioneer sister in the hall started to call on her and study.

We began to talk all the time.... I still loved this women but I was so devasted about what she did and was hurt. But, here she was studying and taking to the truth. Could I make myself forgive her, would the truth bring integrity to our relationship so I could trust her. Her family was less than pleased about her new interests...Her Mom started to do some internet research online. After a few months, she stopped her study and we stopped talking and she sent me a letter

It was a 4 page letter very personal and emotional, I think it was the closure she and I needed...... The letter ended with... I dont want you to mad at me... I think you should take a look at this website and keep your eyes and heart opened to it... The website was www.JWfacts.com

I have been back in the congregation now for about 2yrs or so attending for almost 3, I spent the last 11/12 years thinking I was dying at Armaggedon. I finally felt safe and secure back in the truth. But things have bothered me about some of the things written in the publications. I always felt apostates were bitter angry evil people. To be honest, some are. But I opened up pandoria's box. And now Im here. I have been all over the internet researching for the last few months.

Im still active, I yo yo about the feelings I get when Im at the meetings.... I sometime cry the whole drive home. I feel quilty like I have commited a sin being here and some times liberated. I understand that I know things now I cant ignore. Im processing what has happened and what I have learned. I started talking to a therapist for the first time in my life just a 3 weeks ago.... Life coach's are amazing and the hour goes by in seconds.... I know what ever I decide, I will be ok...I just need to find my way and fiqure it out. Im scared, confused and sometimes wish I just didnt know....but Im hoping to make new friends. Deal with my anxiety and bypass states of depression and take my life in the direction I see fit.

looking forward to your support and friendships

Thanks for listening. (reading) :)

49

Another day, another apostate. Here's my story.

by I Want to Believe in

been lurking for a bit, and feel safe enough now to tell my story (condensed).. i'm a third-generation born-in, but my parents were inactive for most of my upbringing.

this means i got the worst of both worlds--no worldly friends (home schooled all but grades 2-3), no witness friends (since we never went to the hall except for memorial), and a generally isolated upbringing in a tiny, tiny town.

needless to say, my emotional, social, and personal growth were stunted.

Wishididntknow

Alaska!? Can you see Russia from your house too?