Registered and voted! Hope it's o.k. if I bump this thread a few times over the next couple days. Shall I call it theocratic warfare? I noticed that some one had said to go to the societys site for correct info. Wish I would have thought to see if it was on this site for rating. Think I will check that later!
ruderedhead
JoinedPosts by ruderedhead
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13
The website rating service WOT is being used to sandbag TTATT sites
by RayPublisher ini recently sent an email about this to a couple dozen of my contacts.
(it is included below) has anyone else encountered this problem with wot?.
.. wot (web of trust) is an excellent plug-in that i have used with google chrome for quite some time, but have noticed that many of the sites run by dissidents and former jws to expose the lies and hypocrisy of the wt automatically have "dangerous" reputations according to wot, and my browser will actually pop up a warning not to visit the site when trying to go there.
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Why does my mom shun my Son?
by trujw ini have never understood one thing about jws.
ok i am not a witness but what has my son done?
he is an innocent child.
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ruderedhead
That is your Mom's loss, trujw. I am sure you love her, and I know that it hurts for her to treat your precious child this way, but perhaps one day you can point out to her how hypocritical she is being, by knocking on doors where no one is home for hours on end, and yet here in her own family she has the perfect oppotunity with your wife and child to witness at least through her actions, i.e., being a loving Grandma & mother-in-law. And of course others who know she is a witness and how she behaves toward her never was jw family! That gives a very bad witness!
On the other hand, as others have said, the bright side is that you don't have to contend with her trying to indoctrinate your child or wife. I guess the saying be careful what you wish for might apply here. You son is very fortunate to have a Daddy like you, who cares so much.
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My son's heart is broken
by ruderedhead ini'm sure someone here has experienced this before.
please help me help my son.
his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.
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ruderedhead
Thank you Toth, I know he will get over it at some point. Leftinthe Cold, I will definately watch his behavior for depression, but he has a large circle of friends who will support him as well. FlyingHighNow, thank you, and you are correct, I am NOT saying much or trying to get involved. We are keeping it very quiet right now, his sisters don't even know.
I am hopeful that she will have a change of heart, and am grateful that he is keeping me posted. He told me some more last night, and I mostly listened. I am sad that he had to file for divorce yesterday, but that is srtictly so if it does come to that, it can be done in our county, because to get an attorney 2 hours away would be expensive in time and money. And she is the one who filed, so she will have to be inconvenienced, not him. He has engaged an attorney( a woman) who is a pitbull, and who even called last night to see how he was doing after having had to file.She is a friend of the older son.
But my d-i-l HAS agreed to visit a marriage counselor just once. I hope that may lead to this being put off. Some of the things my son told me last night that they have emailed about lead me to believe that she has not thought this through, and the counselor hopefully will help her to see that. My son is also meeting with her parents to see if they can give him some insight. He is doing everything he can to fix this, and I am simply trying to be supportive. I am not going to advise, as that is the job of the counselor and attorney, who have the experience and are the experts. I hope you don't think I'm being mean, but he told me something I found funny last night. She emailed asking if they could do this w/o attorneys. HELLO?! His brother is one, he is one, they have numerous friends who are attorneys! Apparently she has not engaged one yet. That is one of the things that make me think she has not thought this through. Hopefully they will work it out, and she will not need one.
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My son's heart is broken
by ruderedhead ini'm sure someone here has experienced this before.
please help me help my son.
his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.
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ruderedhead
I keep coming back to read your responses. They have helped me tremendously! Thank you. mrs.jones5 it is funny you said she might be shallow, because my oldest son said she tended to be materialistic.
I was on fb today, and saw that she had removed her married status, and pics of the 2 of them. so she is apparently not willing to rethink this right now, and is ready to let the world know. I know that sounds strange, but she is a big fb user. I was on her page yesterday, and her status was still married to xxx.
Thank you, Talesin, for understanding that he cannot be told to move on just yet. featherimiss, I love what you wrote about their part in your story being over. What a perfect way to say it, and I will use that when we need to have that conversation. I think it is a very kind and gentle way of saying we need to move on now. Thanks to all of you for who have posted. I so appreciate your help. I just hope he doesn't give everything to her. But I am keeping my mouth zipped, and will let his brother watch his back, as I know he will.
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Past the point of no return...
by metaspy inpast the point of no return, the final threshold.
the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn.
i've passed the point of no return.
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ruderedhead
I think that is perfect! Mine was much the same, very short and to the point. Godd for you, and congratulations on taking the final step!
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My son's heart is broken
by ruderedhead ini'm sure someone here has experienced this before.
please help me help my son.
his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.
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ruderedhead
Thank you all for your input. I truly appreciate your helping someone you have never met. You are people of the highest caliber. And quite a bit more insightful than I.
We were able to get some more information from him this evening. While I was holding onto hope that this is just a bump in the road, it is not. It is the end of the road for their marriage. Apparently she is unhappy with the fact that right now she makes more money than he does, among other things. He is a brand new attorney. He took the bar exam in July, and in our state, the pass rate was only 53%. He was in that 53%. I think that is pretty darn good. He was sworn in 2 weeks ago, as it takes approx. 3 mo. to get the results back. There are other things, but they are all silly. Trust me. My oldest son is also an attorney, and they spoke today. The older one has handled divorce cases (doesn't really like them), and so has some insight. He simply told me that her reasoning was strange and without real merit. My sons have each others backs, and give only as much info as they need to Mom about certain matters. I try not to be an overprotective momma bear, but sadly, I am, and they know it. I think I love my children almost too much. I loved this girl as one of my own. Why doesn't this woman understand that in 5 years, he will be making good money? He is working with his brother, who has a growing practice, and with my husband ( different business) also while the practice builds to be enough for 2 attorneys. All he has done is for their future, but she said she wants to get on with her life, there is a whole other world out there. I cannot believe this is the end of the road for them. He is filing for the D word soon so it can be done where we live. There are no children, no house. I guess that would be a clean break. But I have never seen him this devastated. He is truly a broken man. To those who say tell him he will heal and move on, Yes he will, but the wound is too fresh. After the new year, we will say those words. Right now, he is facing holidays without the woman he loves, and all the plans they have had with their friends every year.
Thank you again for caring enough to help me. You're quite an insightful group. You saw was was coming before I did.
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My son's heart is broken
by ruderedhead ini'm sure someone here has experienced this before.
please help me help my son.
his wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now.
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ruderedhead
I'm sure someone here has experienced this before. Please help me help my son. His wife of 15 months told him last night that she needs her space, that what she wanted 1 year ago isn't the same as what she wants now. He is destroyed. She is the love of his life. Please allow me to give you a little background: They met 9 years ago, he had graduated H.S., she was entering senior year. They have had to live in different states while dating due to jobs/university. They always found a way to wind up living together. When the financial crisis hit in'08, he lost his job and moved back to our home state to pursue an advanced degree, which he achieved this spring. She moved back as well a few months after him as she had secured a job in her field, but 2 hours away from where he went to school. They married last Summer. He spent 3 days a week with her, and once he finished his degree he lived there permanently until 3 months ago, when he had to again live here part time as this is where he is able to find work, due to connections. He tried to find work where they have an apt., but could not. So he leaves early from work every Fri., to go back, and heads back here Monday morning. I realize this is not an ideal situation. But she has no desire to move back here, and he was unable to find a job there. He has asked for time to get more experience under his belt, in the hope that he will be more marketable there. He's simply asking for 3-6 months. She does not want him to come back to their apt. on the weekends anymore to give her time to sort it out. They have been talking all weekend, as she has been in town, and she seems determined. I am going to suggest counseling. She was telling her parents last night. My husband thinks she has found someone else. I prefer to think not. I am hoping this is just an awful bump in the road. I have never seen my child look like this. We are not allowed to tell anyone, even our daughters, as he is hoping they can work it out. I, too, am hopeful. He is crushed, and I cannot stop crying. My son's heart is broken, and for this, I will never trust her again. Any suggestions on how to help?
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FS
by turtleturtle ini was thinking of going in field service this morning and then i thought "dude, no one is home during the weekday!
".
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ruderedhead
You shouldn't go knocking on doors lying to innocent people!
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Venting some rage and pain.
by jemba inmy father the coboe and much loved member of the cult has ignored me and my children 17yrs and 8yrs old for much of my life and all of my kids lives.
i hate that religion for taking my father away and i hate him for being sucked in and putting all his love, time and kindness into the org and the stupid dubs and leaving himself too tired and uninterested in us.
my kids dont have grandparents, my mum is ok, she rings me once a month but kinda ignores my kids, just gives em $50 each a yr as a substitute for love and attention.. .
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ruderedhead
I'm so sorry for all you have been through and the pain you are obviously in right now, Jemba. Vent away, it can be cathartic, and you have every right to feel the way you do! Sounds like you have created a wonderful family now, and I hope you are rejoicing in all the great decisions you have made.
I think we can learn from others mistakes in the way they treat us, and allow it to make ourselves better people for it. I know I have done this myself after being treated poorly by a family member for years. I hope you have extended family to help enrich your families lives, and you theirs. Our family isn't limited to the one we are born into. Wishing you much love and happiness in your future. Happy Holidays!
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Do JWs Still Feel The Need To Understand Their Teachings Or Have They Pretty Much Abandoned That Idea?
by minimus ini think most jws do not know how to explain their religious beliefs.
i don't think they could explain their views of 607 b.c.e.
, 1914, any prophetic bible books, the old vs. the new fds understanding, the blood fraction reasoning, etc.. do you think the average witness is able to explain from the bible why they believe things as they do?.
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ruderedhead
I think some can as long as they have the WT literature to read from. I knew jw's who knew just what book they needed to read out of to "prove" their point. Not the Bible. either. It is used only to point to certain scriptures (quoted in the WT book they are using) to help them validate what they are saying. Still doesn't make sense if you read the Bible. Doesn't mean they understand the doctrine, just that they know how to use WT literature to prove their point. Esp. if they are a devout born-in, or have loads of time to study the societys books. Without thinking about what they are reading, and doing independent research, of course.