Posts by ruderedhead

going back to the time you attended meetings (perhaps you still do), if you are the parent of adult jw children, did you feel there was entirely too much closeness and undue involvement with your offspring, especially if in the same congregation?

personally, i would want my children to interact with others and develop relationships outside my purview.

ruderedhead

I know that in the couple of congregations I was in, both had families with multilple generations. All very nice people, but very tight knit. And these were the families that seemed to "move up the ladder" a bit more quickly than others. Eventually, as the people were redistributed in the first cong. via orders from above, some of these families had to go to other congregations. But they were all close by, and I didn't hear of anyone having too much of a problem. All were well known in the circuit.

In the second congregeation, however, the women who had their mother there seemed to be calling the shots. Even tho hubby could be an elder in another congregation where there weren't enough, some girls wouldn't leave Mom. Needed her help with the kids, etc. Even tho they were nice people, ones who needed Mommy for help received no sympathy from a Mom who was there alone with 4 kids and no help.

35

Jehovah's Witnesses came round to my house

by Chariklo in

jw
friends

a couple of days ago, jehovah's witnesses came round to my house.

nothing exceptional in that, you might say.

it happens every day, all over the world.. but those of you who know me, or who have followed my story, know how traumatised i was when i finally got away from them, and you'll remember that i wrote a letter three or four weeks after walking away, ending all contact.

ruderedhead

Don't forget the wreath on the front door!

Hopefully they won't be back, but if they do, perhaps a registered letter, which you keep a copy of (registered letters are the ones you have to sign for, correct?), telling them you do not want them to contact you again. EVER! Then perhaps keep a filled super soaker water gun around, and soak 'em if they come back after the letter.

29

Got the contract

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

now i just have to sign on the dotted line and drop it off and i shall once again be in the permanent job field.

i won't be earning a huge amount by any means but it is enough to cover my bills and to save a little bit.

this does give me that relief of finances coming in, of course i'll be keeping my ears and eyes open for better opportunities, but that being said i shall embrace this new opportunity with open arms and eagerness.. it's been a hellofa tough year people - hellofa tough.

ruderedhead

CONGRATULATIONS! The best is yet to come!

25

Our holiday light show for Christmas

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkz0tcxzhfm&list=ul.

my husband made a little special holiday cheer in our front yard .

enjoy ,i know our witness neighbors do .

ruderedhead

AWESOME!!!! Thank you for sharing!

63

JW played me and broke my heart

by new22day in

jw
friends

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:revision>0</o:revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:totaltime> <o:pages>1</o:pages> <o:words>468</o:words> <o:characters>2669</o:characters> <o:company>atb</o:company> <o:lines>22</o:lines> <o:paragraphs>6</o:paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>3131</o:characterswithspaces> <o:version>14.0</o:version> </o:documentproperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng /> </o:officedocumentsettings> </xml><!

[endif][if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves /> <w:trackformatting /> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf /> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>ja</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark /> <w:enableopentypekerning /> <w:dontflipmirrorindents /> <w:overridetablestylehps /> <w:usefelayout /> </w:compatibility> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math" /> <m:brkbin m:val="before" /> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--" /> <m:smallfrac m:val="off" /> <m:dispdef /> <m:lmargin m:val="0" /> <m:rmargin m:val="0" /> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup" /> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440" /> <m:intlim m:val="subsup" /> <m:narylim m:val="undovr" /> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><!

[endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* style definitions */ table.msonormaltable {mso-style-name:"table normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]startfragment.

ruderedhead

Welcome, new22day. I am sorry this is happening to you. This man sounds like he is sorely lacking in morals and conscience. You probably have higher morals than he does. It sounds from your post as though he has no problem being deceitful and using people, and places what he wants first .He never told anyone about you, lied to you, tried to make you feel like the bad guy for returning his things to his landlady (obviously because you might have exposed him). You are best rid of him, and I am sure you realize that, but I know it must hurt after 2 years.

I would ask you to consider calling the kingdom hall he attends, if there is more than one congregation there find out what times their meetings are held, and call there and ask to speak to an elder about 10 minutes before a meeting starts. Share your story, make sure you have share the general timeline this all occured so they can see that he was leading a double life while being reinstated. I believe there is something wrong with this person, and you might want to do this not for revenge, but to save someone else from getting hurt. If you are going to do it for revenge, I would say don't. It won't make anything better, your heart won't heal any faster, he will still be a lying dog who will most likely lie his way out of it. You also might want to consider changing the locks where you live just to be on the safe side if he ever had a key. I would do this whether you decide to expose him or not.

Refuse to have anymore communication with him. Block him from your phone, your emails, anyway he has of communicating with you. And come here as frequently as you need to vent. I have found this to be a very welcoming, helpful group of people. All the best in life to you!

3

Spare the rod and spoil the 15 month old baby

by usualusername in

jw
friends

many years ago i witnessed a mother smacking her 15 month old baby.

at the time i was shocked as the child was so young.

i asked her about it and she said as soon as her kids learned to say no they were old enough to be smacked.. .

ruderedhead

You DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, HIT A 15 MONTH OLD!!!! There are other ways to deal with them. I've seen too many witnesses use the spare the rod excuse as a way to dismiss their borderline ( and sometimes not borderline) abusive ways with their children. That is lazy parenting.

31

What was the worst thing an "elder" ever did to you ?

by Pitchess Co-Gen in

the worst thing an "elder" ever did to me was in 2008. i was in one congregation, but i wanted to return to my home congregation because i've been reproved there twice ( once private and the last one public ).

when i came into this congregation in 2007 i thought i was going to move up the food chain ( this congregation was full of older people, so i thought i would move up faster ).

but i got into some trouble in the congregation.

ruderedhead

Loz, what that elder did to you was awful! He sounds like a complete moron. The worst thing an elder did to me was when I had decided to get baptised after studying for 5 years. The woman who was studying with me was pushing me hard to get baptised, so I approached one elder. He told me he felt I wasn't ready. I was shocked, as he was approving someone who had been studying less time, and I was doing EVERYTHING they asked. But o.k. Six months later, I approached him again. He felt I wasn't ready! I was angry!And again, they were allowing people who were fairly new to get baptised. I thought these people play mind games! I'm not playing! Why didn't I leave then?! It was the perfect opportunity! The woman studying with me was very aggressive, and finally convinced me he had his reasons, my kids had friends in the congrgation, just wait on Jehovah, etc. I think it was just a power play, and I was a fool not to have simply said good-bye.

41

newbe

by emperorslaundrist in

jw
friends

thank you for this forum.

thank you for your stories which helped wake me up from my delusion.

thank you for letting me join you.

ruderedhead

Welcome! Are you planning on bringing your husband with you when you escape? All the best on your journey out!