Posts by ruderedhead

49

More excrement in the fan

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

well.....i am now officially on the precipice of divorce.

it started last tuesday night.

my wife brings the kids home at 10:00 pm after the meeting....then dinner....then ice cream.

Outsmart, I'm so sorry for your pain. Your wife is obviously totally brainwashed, but that does not excuse telling your own children you are Satan's friend! That is beyond disgusting and vile! How dare she? You are not a sperm donor, you are their FATHER!! And you need to stop the indoctrination as best as you can. A 3 y.o. should not be quoting a jw video. Please follow others advice and record your kids. An attorney would be the best one to tell you how to go about this. This may sound strange, but you may want to take cues from how Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise. Seems as though she moved stealth like, did her homework, had great legal advice, and made sure she had all her ducks in a row first.

So glad you are getting help for your depression. You should be feeling more like your old self in a bit. Just please don't share too much with your wife. It's none of her business.

It sounds as though some of the activities you enjoyed are ones your children may enjoy doing with you, biking, maybe hiking instead of running, perhaps soccer or throwing baseballs? I can imagine that if you talk to them about God, if you have beliefs, share with them. Let them know you are NOT satan's friend! You can let them see that Daddy is not what Mom is making him out to be without saying anything negative about her.

If you decide that the marriage is not salvagable, please go for 50% custody, so you can prevent total indoctrination.

I wish you all the best.

11

Do these people realize the effect shunning has on the outsiders?

by jam in

jw
friends

this past week my sister called and ask if i knew my oldest.

daughter was in town.

she lives in a different state (1500 miles).. my sister was invited to a baby shower (my nephew baby).. now get this, my ex (jw) and her husband when they are in town.

ruderedhead

Jam, I am so very sorry for the pain this must cause you. When people hear about this type of behavior, it makes the witnesses look mean and spiteful, not to mention cult-like. It seems there are some who take a hard line approach with the shunning, and some who are a bit softer when it comes to family. Hard liners are certainly NOT following Christ's example. All the best to you.

36

My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

by crystlew123 in

jw
friends

hi my name is crystle.

( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

ruderedhead

Crystle, you absolutely should NOT be embarrassed to seek help for something horrible that happened to you in the past. It was NEVER DEALT WITH. If your medical card allows for psychological health care, please avail yourself of it! You and your child deserve the healthiest life possible!

I hope you find a job soon. Sounds like you are doing all you can to make that happen. Al the best.

rudered

8

Have you ever put HBH on house to house record?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

hbh=home but hiding.

.

ruderedhead

I did!

The woman who studied with me was so bold that if she was certain they were hbh, she would actually go to the back door, and then, if they had one, would go onto their deck and knock on their doorwall! When I was studying with her, if she came by & I didn't answer the door, she would open my back gate(which was a PRIVACY FENCE WITH A PRIVACY GATE!), to see if I was there! She said she had to make sure she left no stone unturned in her service to Jehovah. No hiding from that one!

She has since been married & divorced 3 times, with one disfellowshipping thrown in! Still active, tho.

36

My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

by crystlew123 in

jw
friends

hi my name is crystle.

( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

ruderedhead

May I ask one thing, Crystle? Have you ever received help for the trauma you endured as a child? If not, I hope you will consider it now. Sounds like it was swept under the rug, and you were never give an opportunity to deal with it. And that is horrible! I don't know how those people live with themselves when they allow monsters to walk freely among those they claim to care about! All the best to you!

36

My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

by crystlew123 in

jw
friends

hi my name is crystle.

( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

ruderedhead

Welcome, Crystle! Sounds like you have had a rough ride so far. But it also sounds like you are a strong young woman.

Have you gone to college? Even a Community College? The job market is pretty bleak in most areas, but having an education past High School can make you more marketable. That would assist you in getting a better paying job, so you would have a better chance of moving out of your parents home sooner. Community college (I think some epople call them junior colleges?) has much lower tuition than 4 year universities, so they are a good place to start. If you are an unemployed, or underemployed single Mom, there may even be some financial assistance available to you.

It sounds like you have loving parents who are willing to help you, so please think about how you can become more independent, or your son runs the risk becoming indoctrinated. I know it will be hard and probably stressful, but worth it in the long run! I wish you all the best!

35

I'm a stepmom to a little JW.... need advice...

by LKM in

jw
friends

i am a new stepmom to an 8 year old boy whose mother is a jw pioneer.

my husband has been disfellowshipped for 2.5 years now.

i was part of the reason he left the organization for good, although he had stopped believing long before being kicked out.

ruderedhead

LKM, you and your husband are your stepson's only hope for a semi normal childhood, never mind how messed up his brain could be as an adult if everything is his jw Mom's way. I know you do not want him to sit outside during birthdays, class parties, etc., feeling like an outcast. And never mind High School, which can be brutal as kids try to find their niche anyway!

When he is with you, your rules should apply. As long as you do not speak negatively of his Mom and her beliefs, she needs to respect this. You don't tell her he can't go out in service, to the KH or participate in anything related to the witnesses, do you? Fair is fair. The problem you could have is if you were to sign him up for team sports, if she has him during a scheduled game/practice, she obviously would not co-operate in getting him there, or letting you take him.

Please keep this precious child busy exploring what his interests are, what he is good at. Sports, music, art, theater? Hopefully you and your husband are doing thorough research so you can refute wt things his Mom is indoctrinating him with, especially when he says he can't do something because it would make Jehovah sad, or Jehovah does not like it. Nobody wants to make God mad, so you need to be able to disprove his belief. I believe that if you both stay calm, loving and positive, he will want to spend more time with you, especially if you do not speak negatively of his Mom, so he does not go into protect mode.

Do you get report cards and newsletters from the school so you are aware of the activities that are going on that Mom may not want him to be involved in? School is such a large part of a child's life, they need to feel like they fit in.

I hope you can all work this out amicably, for the little guy's sake. All the best to you and your husband.

24

I am referred here Because you and I are from same life

by unchained1963 in

jw
friends

a member suggested this i am disassociated 3 years and divorced one with a life of hell marriage and brain washed but worn out fighting to get back that is nothing but a bunch of back stabbing people in that organization, brain washed and taught to divide familys, they want you in but not, its like football with them same type of plays.

i now have found people where i go that doesn't teach love the live this.

i had a abusive marriage, was wife of elder and 3 kids who lived hell because i was to follow the submission of a wife.

ruderedhead

Welcome, Carla! Sounds like you have had a horrible time. I hope things are getting better for you and your daughter now. Hugs to you.

73

Moshe received proof of a spiritual afterlife in 1999

by moshe in

i have posted this experience of mine before- it's time to resurrect it again.. in 1999 i was in bed asleep and i had a dream- my father and i were shoping at a clothing store called fazios, that i hadn't been inside since i was a boy (closed for many years).

we were looking at some denim overhalls and in walks my mother and brother ( she died in 1991 and my brother had died five months previously).

they told my dad, it's time to go.

ruderedhead

It's crazy when those things happen! When my father in law passed away a few years ago, my oldest son told me he dreamed that his grandpa had come and told him he was proud of him. It happened at the same time that they said my father in law passed.

19

Jehovah doesn't like that

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

no matter what the situation is.....my children are now on a kick of saying "jehovah doesn't like that".

birthdays?

jehovah doesn't like that.

ruderedhead

That is ridiculous! I hope you will exert your headship, and tell your wife (kindly) that unless she can show you from the Bible where something is wrong, that you do not want her telling your children that Jehovah doesn't like it, when it is actually something SHE does not like. Does she think Jehovah likes it when she does that?

I feel badly for you in your situation, but your poor kids are going to be messed up for a long time if you do not put a stop to this nonsense now. You know that at their ages, they are like little sponges, absorbing everything, and you and Mom are their authority figures, they think you have all the answers. You must refute the wrong things Mom says, without saying Mom is wrong, but showing/explaining to them why you are telling them something different. Children will listen to reason!

And please make sure they are spending as little time as possible with jw relatives that will back up Mom's indoctrination, even if it means foregoing somethings you want to do. They will help mess up your kids, and you can't get back the time lost. Easier to stop it now, than try to undo the damage later. Or perhaps have your children shun you later!

All the best

rudered