ruderedhead

Joined

• started 3 topics
• posted 700 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by ruderedhead

• 
  13

  Flip-flopping all over the place

  by confusedteenager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one minute i'm believing completely in god and in jesus christ, and in the next instance i'm questioning all religious systems in general.

  i think i'm just lacking faith, but then in the back of my head i'm wondering if i've just been so indoctrinated and deluded...that i can't imagine living without considering that there is a god to be worshiped, or that i need to worship god in order to be happy.

  i don't know how full-blown atheists or full blown christians do it either way.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  You're are having very normal feelings for a teen who is obviously intelligent and has found out they have been lied to their whole life by a high control religion. I have raised 4 teens, and I'm going to ask you to take a step back and take a deep breath. Take your time, confused. The world is not going to end tomorrow. Do research privately, be thorough. Look at other religions, most have someone willing to talk to you about the Bible & their doctrines. If it takes you a couple years to figure out that is fine. You're young, you are discovering things some did not until they were much older. Come here to vent, ask questions. I personally cannot fathom looking at this wonderful world and not believe there has to be a creator of all of this. BUT, that is me. You must make your own decisions. But please don't panic over it. You will figure it out. Much love to you, confused. Rudered
• 
  51

  JWs say it's my fault I didn't go to university ?!

  by ekruks in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  like many on here, as a jw trying hard to follow the direction of the gb, i listened to the advice to pioneer and trust in jehovah to provide (mat6.33) instead of going to university.

  after struggling for ages in low-paid physically-demanding jobs, i decided to become a student (thanks for the encouragement on here guys!).

  i tell a jw i wish i had been to university when i was a teenager, and put all that pioneer time into studying hard for a good grade, get a good job, and if i had wound up tired as i am now, at least i would have been paying into a mortgage on a home and pension.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  They don't even make sense, do they, ekruks? So full of crap! Jw's talk in circles, making sense only to themselves. Bullying is a strong tool they use, then say it was your choice. It was used on my oldest son by his peers at the hall, who started shunning him when he went to the university. If he saw them out, they would let him know he was not welcome to join them. They make it very unpleasant, but it made him see them for what they were. All the best as you continue your education!
• 
  25

  I had some fun today.

  by Defianttruth in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i took the kids to a park at the center of our town today.

  i say some inappropriately dressed people, and decided to investigate.

  i keep a close eye on people at the play ground who don't fit in.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  Well done! Was the kid o.k., tho? Hopefully he was able to disappear into the background. I feel sorry for him having to be part of this situation, but if he was listening, hopefully listening turned on a switch for him.
• 
  27

  My wife and I went to dinner with a group of "worldly" - NORMAL - people

  by dazed but not confused in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  [if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> </w:worddocument> </xml><![endif].

  [if gte mso 10]> <style> /* style definitions */ table.msonormaltable {mso-style-name:"table normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"times new roman";} </style> <![endif].

  my wife and i were invited to dinner by a coworker of hers.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  O.K., dazed, that made me laugh! You sound like my husband. I meant it might be more comfortable for your WIFE to not be in that womans section! She also would not be able to hear the conversations and question your wife later.

  And that was a very good tip! I remember being out with witnesses who would have servers busting their butts with refills of whatever at some restaurants, and then count out exactly 15% for a tip, and a tract. I always put down a little more to make up for their cheapness cause it was embarrassing. I am a 20%er.
• 
  27

  My wife and I went to dinner with a group of "worldly" - NORMAL - people

  by dazed but not confused in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  [if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> </w:worddocument> </xml><![endif].

  [if gte mso 10]> <style> /* style definitions */ table.msonormaltable {mso-style-name:"table normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"times new roman";} </style> <![endif].

  my wife and i were invited to dinner by a coworker of hers.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  Hopefully your party left a good tip. If you go back to that restaurant could you request NOT to be seated in her section? You could say she's a great server, but you know her & it would be uncomfortable for you. Just a thought.
• 
  19

  Don't have the heart to turn the old sister away in person, gonna write a letter instead.

  by Joliette in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  right now it is 5:41am here in milwaukee, i cannot sleep and it is utter torture.

  ugh!.

  i have to be at work at 3pm today, and i cannot sleep.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  Hope you are able to overcome your sleeping problems. Seems to be a lot of that going around.

  That said, I realize that at 29 someone in their late 50's might seem old to you, but SHE IS NOT OLD!!!! She is not some frail little 85 y.o., she is a mature woman who should be able to handle being told politely thank you, but I have no interest in the magazines any longer, I will contact you if I do. That is what I did to a woman about 10 years older than I who was very sweet and a long time pioneer and brought me mags about 1x/month. I am slightly over 50 and still have a 16 y.o.at home, my Mom is 76 & still works, my mother in law is 86 and walks to the store every day because she wants to. It will probably not be the first time someone has turned down her magazines, she will be disappointed, but I doubt she will be devastated.

  I hope things work out for your Mom. In some congregations,some of the women are like mean girls in high school. One tried to mess with me once. Didn't work out too well for her. Didn't care if she was an elders wife.

  Get some sleep!
• 
  17

  Shunned by ex-jw's

  by Joey Jo-Jo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  there seems to be a double standard among ex-jw's who believe and practice christianity.. i have lost 3 subscribers from my youtube channel all because of speaking my mind, it was not invasive or rude, but my last two videos appeared to have offended them.. so what happened?

  as an atheist i raised some issues regarding the mind set of christianity that it borrows from jw's, in other words i was showing christian ex-jw's that they are behaving just like jw's.

  the double standard is simple to grasp:.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  It's youtube. If someone isn't interested in your vidoes any longer, for whatever reason, that should be o.k. Were they personal friends? I could see then why you would be upset. But if they were simply subscribers, it's not personal. They don't agree with your point of view, and are moving on. And now you have gained new subscribers from this post! Hopefully that will make you feel better.
• 
  26

  Goodbye Bex

  by TimeBandit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all i can do is cry.... .

  in loving memory of bekkah mejia barnum fb: http://www.facebook.com/xjwbex.

  she was a dear friend....

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  My condolences on the loss of your dear friend, timebandit. Sounds as if she was more like extended family. She looks like she was a kind person.

  You can carry her memory with you forever. I hope you find comfort in everyone's love.
• 
  50

  Need advice from a female

  by CADSkin in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  long story short.

  ive been married for 18 years to my beautiful wife.

  when i was younger i had a lot of attention due to my looks which has always made me extremely uncomfortable.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  Hi, CADskin! Glad you have gotten yourself healthy and in a good place emotionally. You are much more help to your family that way. Congratulations! I think I might have an idea of how your wife might be feeling. I have a very attractive husband as well, and he knows it. I have seen women flirting with him at the gym,and in public, and while he says he is not flirting back, in the past, even some of our sons friends have laughed at him when he made that claim. They have seen it, I have seen it. He has always been vain & flirtatious, but I def know how insecure it can make a wife feel.i KNOW YOU DON'T FLIRT BACK, BUT JUST THE FACT WOMEN ARE HITTING ON YOU( THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING, MY DEAR), MAKES HER FEEL BAD. And women can certainly be mean girls to each other, tho it escapes me why. It makes her feel insecure and unattractive, intimidated perhaps. Even tho I am sure you are doing all you can to show her you love her, please put yourself on her shoes. You sound like a very loving husband. Even vegetarians can have bad eating habits, and eat too much, It is easy when you're home all day. Do you portion out your food, wieghing, measuring, counting calories? If you do that, she may follow your example. As problemaddict, I believe, said, food is the most important factor with weight at the start. I have also found a training facility where I work out with personal trainers with other women in group training settings. The cost is not great as it is done in groups, and I like the smaller setting as the ones offered at the regular gym can get too large,cost more, and the trainers are a bit impersonal there. This is apart from our gym, and for whatever reason, the women there are all encouraging and supportive of each other. This may be something you could look at for her. Less intimidating, no one flirting with you, it's all about her. And YES encourage your dear wife to go back to school. Even if it is only one or two classes at a time, she will feel so much better about herself. Bless your heart for loving your wife so much. I know you will find a solution. Don't get discouraged. And congrats again on getting healthy!
• 
  35

  I lost a good friend yesterday

  by zed is dead in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am really going to miss having her as a close friend.

  we both helped each other this past year, as we were both dealing with the passing of people we loved.

  she was a strong part of my support group.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  ruderedhead

  So sorry for your loss.