Thanks to everyone for your thoughts. I appreciate it very much. There is a lot to think about. On almost every comment you gave, you could start an interesting conversation.
It is impossible to go into every subject your mentioned, but I'll try at least a few.
yalbmert99 - very interesting exposition. I've thought about it before. The ultimate cause which is beyond our comprehension and is ineffable. But even when it exists, it is an absract concept that doesn't really affect me as a small human with my, in relation to the whole universe, insignificant questions about my own beeing. This thought is rather satisfying in a rational way that leaves the last unanswered questions to an relaxed curiosity.
designs - I don't want to leave footprints. I'd like to keep going.
mr.freeze/cofty/sizemik - I've read a lot about this thought: we have been dead an eternity before our birth, so why bother to go back to this state. But there is a great difference between the eternity which precedes our existence and the eternity that will follow after our death. As persons capable of thinking we can fill the time before we came to existence. We can learn so much about our past, the past of our family, of our city, of our country, of the world, of the universe. Even we weren't existent at a certain moment in history, we can consider the remains and imagine to be a part of. But there are no remains of the future. The future is a story yet untold. Up to a certain point we can recover the past, but never the future. The eternity before our birth is an infinite possibility to gain knowledge and experience, the eternity after our death is just a loss.
snare & racket - I don't miss wether the Jehovah of the wittnesses, nor the jealous and disgusting god of the bible. It is, like you mentioned, this kind of father-figure, the one who cares, the one who guarantees a good outcome, even when everything is desperate. Very often I think it would have been better to been raised in a family of non- believers or such as the family of my girl-friend. They are protestants, but never imposed their beliefe in their children. They had to make up their minds on their own and never were infected by the unrelaistic concept of an everlasting life.
And you are right: Science is awesome. Life is awesome.
new chapter - I've read "The lord is no shephard" by Hitchens. The Book about mortality is unknown to me. But I will try to get it.
Talking of a good read: The mentioned Julian Barnes wrote an exellent book about death called: "Nothing to be frightend of". In my oppinion the best book ever written about the subject.But maybe Hitchens will top it. I'm going to tell you, when I've read it.
outlaw - enjoying your posts - each and every time!!
botchtowersociety - I never really understood the term "love" like the jw use it. They said we should love field service - I hated it. They said: we should love the people in our territory - I didn't like them. they said we should love Jehovah - I didn't really feel it.
The first time I got a glimpse what it means to love was when I read 1984 by George Orwell. At the end of the book, when the main character was torched and mutilated for thought-crimes, but at the end released to go on with his life, he felt some kind of love for his oppressors. It is the love you feel for somebody who is hitting you all day long and then stops just for a few minutes.
Phizzy - Clapton is still alive or did I miss something. (O.K. he is god, so death doesn't bother him at all :-) ) There is a good song of Alan Parsons Project in which they pray: Bring back Elvis...bring back Lennon etc. I would like to have some drinks with Bon Scott. Highway to Hell was my first touch with Rock`n Roll.
goldensky - Love your comment. Thank you for your kind words. My native language is german, the second english, the third spanish, because I was living in South America and Spain for a couple of years. My problem is that I like to express myself in english a s good as in german when it comes to such significant matters like we are discussing in this thread (or in many others which are very interesting). Quickly I'm strechted to my limits and feel kind of handicapped. Very often I prefer to stay quiet instead of posting something that might be missunderstood.
What you discribe is what I hope to gain someday: Feel the greatfullness of life without expecting answers to be the foundation of it.
John Mann - Very interesting thoughts! In fact, I'm not afraid of death, I'm frightend of dying. Of the moment you realize, when you close your eyes it will be forever. Of the dizzeness when your circulation collapses, of the numbness of your extremeties, the loose of sight and hearing. The sensation of vanishing. And no cushion to rest your head on. Thats what I'm afraid of.
Once again - thank you
Borges