Dad was both physically & mentally abusive. I know he feels alot of guilt over the things he said & done. I told him i forgave him, he actually cried. My mum was in tears when i told her i don't blame her as she was beating herself up over not protecting me & standing up to dad when he was being abusive. Most of dads side of the family are mentally ill & dysfunctional. Dad was ill befor he came into the "truth". But i believe the religion fed his illness. I have told them i believe it's a cult & i will never go back. They said they respected that position. My daughter told me nanna & pop were preaching to them. I saw red & told my parents they are not to talk to them about the religion at all. My daughter was about 18 at the time, not interested but i wanted to be sure that she stays not interested. Given they know my stance i am confused why they decided to talk to me, but i'm taking it slowly. Haven't asked them why they have changed their minds about talking to me, just taking it at face value at the moment. I don't think its about money, i think they're lonely as they have no relationship with their adult children. My dad tried to top himself recently ( he's tried on a few occassions), he said he was going write a txt to my brother & sister asking if they will have contact with him. Personally l didn't think that good idea as he just got out of the psch ward. If they said no, it might send him off on another psychotic episode.
Posts by Leeca
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15JW parents actively seeking relationship
by Leeca inmy parents shunned me when i was df'ed.
when i got ri'ed they started talking to me again.
when i got divorced & stopped going to meetings they shunned me again.
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JW parents actively seeking relationship
by Leeca inmy parents shunned me when i was df'ed.
when i got ri'ed they started talking to me again.
when i got divorced & stopped going to meetings they shunned me again.
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Leeca
lamallcool: I'm hoping that they realise it's not what they thought it was. As we don't discuss religion i don't know what they're thinking. Though my dad told me he had a psycotic episode and was going to write to the society DAing himself, but mum talked him out of it. He did get carted off to the nuthouse, not his first trip there. skeeter1: Don't think either has a terminal illness, dad couldn't keep a secret to save himself. But both my parents have health issues. Mum physical, Dad mental.
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JW parents actively seeking relationship
by Leeca inmy parents shunned me when i was df'ed.
when i got ri'ed they started talking to me again.
when i got divorced & stopped going to meetings they shunned me again.
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Leeca
My parents shunned me when i was DF'ed. When i got RI'ed they started talking to me again. When i got divorced & stopped going to meetings they shunned me again. Then after years of shunning, they have contacted me wanting a relationship with me. What gives....? l have been with my bf for 8 years, ( now hes my fiance) he has never met my parents. l am living with him " in sin" but that doesn't seem to bother them. They are actively persuing a relationship with me, me i'm more cautious. Don't trust them to not go all JW again. They were fanatical JW's. My dad has a severe mental illness, growing up was hell. Now he's trying to make up for what he put me through, apologising & said he was a 'cretin' of a father. I'm wondering as they are getting on in years they see things differently. Family more important? He told me that i'm the only one willing to talk to him, my brother & sister refused to have anything to do with him. My brother went as far as saying to my mum, "if u don't leave that man ( dad) u won't see the grandkids again". And as far as i know my brother & sister are still involved with the religion. I don't have anything to do with my bro & sis, not to do with religion, just a very dysfunctional unloving family. My father said he would love for me to come & stay with them, (shock). For the first time in nearly 40 years mum & dad tell me they love me everytime they talk to me! Give a nervous little laugh when they say that, so alien to me. Maybe when i stopped going to meetings i ceased to exist for the JW's, never heard from anyone in the cong from the day i left, so haven't been DFed or DAed. Never went to mum & dads cong, so maybe they feel it's ok to talk to me as most JW's forgot i exist, & they probably aren't telling anyone in the cong. Also i moved interstate, live in an Aboriginal Community, Australia. Nearest JW over 500ks away. So i consider myself safe from them!
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Looking for BOE letter regarding DF'd at memorial
by Dutchdelight inlast year i decided to attend the memorial.
i came in last minute and ended up sitting at the end of the row.
when the symbols were passed out they skipped me and gave to the person next to me.
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Leeca
When i attended the memorial while DF'ed about 19 years ago, i was sitting at the back on the end (don't know about now but back then DF'ed people had to sit right at the back). When the 'brother' came to pass me the emblem an 'elder' literally ran down the isle, grabbed the emblem & said u can't give them to her! Not only was it embarrising for me the brother who was going to give it to me looked completely mortified. Unfortunately this didn't wake me up, still took a few more years yo-yoing in & out of the "truth", until i finally left for good.
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Interview with an Apostate: Template
by Simon inhere's the template of questions to use ready to copy / paste and complete.
feel free to add suggestions for additional questions and to nominate people you'd like to read about (but not no one is obliged to do one).
also, add your own story too!.
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Leeca
Great. Spent all that time painstakingly cut and pasting each question and when l finally get it finished and post it it turns out like that.
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Interview with an Apostate: Template
by Simon inhere's the template of questions to use ready to copy / paste and complete.
feel free to add suggestions for additional questions and to nominate people you'd like to read about (but not no one is obliged to do one).
also, add your own story too!.
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Leeca
Tell us a little about yourself and your family. Both sides of family JWs. Fathers side of family suffer from mental illness. Dysfunctional family dynamtics. Were you a born in or a convert? Born in. Were you a born in or a convert? See above. Father was fanatical about the religion. How many generations have been JWs? 3 Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...) No, female. Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)? Yes. Had fear of watching horror movies, could invite demons in. X sister in law had 'demon attacks' while studying with JWs. I never saw anything. Did you get baptised? When and why? Yes. Was about 18. It was expected, also thought i'd be more accepted by the cong. That i would feel different. Neither happened. What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things? Didn't really question that it wasn't the 'truth'. Questioned the control over every aspect of our lives while in my teens. Basically did things my way at home, put on act when around Jws that i was more 'spiritual' than i really was. Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books? Internet and reading CoC & 30 Years a Watchtower Slave. Wished i discovered this years earlier. How difficult or painful was the process of leaving? Actually very easy. Went to a meeting (Thursday, i think). Was listening to a speaker pontificating that we should be doing this and that, that we're not doing enough. Light bulb moment for me as i wasn't doing all that. Was my last meeting, never went to another. No calls, no elders knocking on my door, nothing. Was like l never existed. Maybe had something to do with marrying outside the 'truth'. Got DF'ed at 19, then RI'ed at 20. Got pregnant and married during that year. Hubby at the time happy i stopped, dysfunctional relationship with parents & siblings so missing nothing there. Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade? More like a non event. Like i said above, as far as the cong was concerned i never existed. I also moved alot, (hubby for work). I had moved about 20 times when l left. Maybe all the different congs couldn't keep up. Did you convince anyone else to leave with you? No. Just glad l got my kids out while they where still young. Hubby non JW. He did start studying and going to meetings, but never was that interested. Grateful that he didn't get that involved with the JWs. How were your family relations affected by your decision? Already had crappy relationship with parents & siblings so nothing changed there. Happy to have nothing to do with my father as he was a mental case, abusive physically & emotionally. Though unusual for my parents they are talking to me ( via phone) as we live in different states. ( Australia). They now want to have a relationship, they did shun me while l was DF'ed, and when l left my marriage. My suspicious radar went off, so unlike them, think it has to do with now in their 60's, maybe lonely. Considering l'm living with my BF, but that doesn't seem to bother them now. My father did ask for forgiveness about how he behaved while l was growing up. I forgave him for his appalling treatment. He actually cried! I'm not DF'ed or DA'ed that i know of, since l told my parents that they have been very forward in having a relationship with me. Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave? No. Only by my parents on & off. They are no longer shunning me. Never came across a JW from the day l left. How long have you now been out? 12 years. Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left? Watching horror movies ( the decent ones). Do whatever l wanted, when l wanted. What are you most proud of achieving since you left? Becoming a nuse. Travelling around Australia ( still doing). Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation? No. Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all? No. Just that it didn't happen earlier. Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere? Looked at a few different faiths. Still deciding whether l believe in a god or not. No longer feel the need to be religious. How do you now feel about religion in general? Not interested in any man made religion at all. Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s? None. Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs? No. Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people? Best friend never a JW. All friends just regular people. Do you tell people about your JW past? On occasion if subject came up, but not for years. Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs? Animosity toward the Society. No pity towards those stuck in because of family. How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door? Never had them call at my door. I now live in an Aboriginal Community, working in the general store. Nearest JW 500 ks away. Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support) Support for those who are trying to leave. What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in? Planting a seed, by asking a question like you're confused. Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change? Hopefully it will eventually implode. How has your life been impacted by your JW past? Socially awkward. Thats improving. Hate it when at a BBQ or party everyone talks about what they got up to growing up & you've got nothing to contribute. Who wants to hear about meetings & FS, and not doing normal things. I found these discussions depressing. Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for? Yes. Not having a normal childhood. Have difficulty making friends though l'm improving. Having no happy memories growing up. JW upbringing - a protection or a curse? A curse. How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service? Sleeping in on Sunday, watching TV any night, travelling. Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines? Yes. Parents still in. They don't bring up religion in conversation. But just in case. Check if theres any scandal, especially in Australia. How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters? Depends. Sometimes l take a break. Mainly JWN. What do you think of the ex-JW community? Best thing since sliced bread! Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time? Probably, checking if the Society has imploded yet. Do you fear the future? Used to worry about Armageddon all the time. No longer since l learned TTATT. What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS? Research everything. What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself? Absoluetly. Wouldn't have got baptised or married so young. Do you have any regrets about life since you left? Some, nothing major. l was like a kid in a candy shop when l got my first taste of freedom. Had some learning curves. Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books) No. . Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"
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"Worlds Apart" A danish movie about a young coming of age Jehovahs Witness , screening on SBS2 tonight in Victoria
by smiddy ini know their have been screenings of this movie before , but this notice is for any newbies here that may not have seen it previously.
it is scheduled to screen at 10:25 pm on ch.32 sbs2 sun.25/8/13 .
maybe other states in australia can view it on-line , or request it be shown by sbs in their state.. it is an interesting movie , and apart from minor flaws , pretty accurate despite the beard,though i am told the danes are a bit more liberal than the west.. the real / actual jehovahs witness this story is based on has a cameo appearance near the end of this movie in the train sequence.. please let me know if you watch it and your thoughts about it .. smiddy.
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Leeca
Just checked the telly guide. It's being screened in the Northern Territory too at 10:25pm, tonight. Glad got day off work tomorrow as it doesn't finish till 12:30pm.
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Forum Policy: Off Topic Comments and Nonsense
by Simon insome people didn't seem to get the message so i'll repeat it to make clear:.
posting off topics comments and general gibberish / nonsense is something i class as spam and will not be tolerated.. any posts found will be removed and if it's repeatedly by the same poster then they will be deleted as well.. thank you for everyone else who uses the forum for proper discussion..
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Leeca
Love this site, it's my favourite. Nothing like JW Topix, too many trolls and off topic on that site.
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Happiness/unhappiness
by lostinthought ini was told by a family member the other day "if you want to leave jehovah, go ahead.
but don't think you'll ever be happy.
all the people i know who have left got burned by the world and they come back to the truth".
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Leeca
Much happier. Have no fear about the future. Don't live with guilt anymore. This site has helped me alot with over coming these feelings.
l feel sorry for my parents who are still in. They still talk to me as i faded, actually very quickly. Just stopped going, nobody noticed that i was no longer going. At the time i was upset no one noticed. Now i count my lucky stars. No harrasment.
I haven't been DF'ed or DA'ed, well not that i know of anyway. l left about 8 years ago. No regrets leaving as i'm no longer living with depression.
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Are you thankful to know TTAT or not?
by laverite ini am so thankful that i was able to learn the truth about the truthtm (ttatt).
i owe everything in my life to having left watchtower corp: my education, my position as a college professor, being able to write and publish, travel, family life, my beautiful children, being able to be openly gay -- and happy.
unlike those closeted homosexuals in the truthtm, i do not have to be afraid to be who i am.
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Leeca
Bloody Oath! No more guilt. Currently travelling around Oz, living in the middle of Australia (desert), working in a Aboriginal Community.
Never would have been possible in my previous life.