My father was raised by a cruel man. He beat up on his sons when they were adolescents. His older son is damaged goods. The abuse basically ruined his life. His younger son (my father) was genuinely a good man, but he had some problems do to his upbringing. Not to make excuses, but there are cause and effect relationships for everything in the universe. My father's been married to my step-mother for about 35 years. In the first five years of their marriage, he hit her probably 4 times. To date, they have a strong marriage and my step-mother has no regrets about the decisions she made throughout her marriage. According to what is stated here, the matter worked itself out for the better.
02/15/2012 Watchtower, page 29
Many modern-day examples illustrate the value of applying Peter’s counsel. Consider the case of Selma. When she began to study the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses, her husband, Steve, was not pleased. He admits, “I became became angry, jealous, possessive, and insecure.” Selma observes: “Even before I got the truth, living with Steve was like walking on eggshells. He was hot-tempered. When I started studying the Bible, this characteristic intensified.” What helped?
Selma recalls a lesson she learned from the Witness who studied with her. “On one particular day,” says Selma, “I didn’t want to have a Bible study. The night before, Steve had hit me as I had tried to prove a point, and I was feeling sad and sorry for myself. After I told the sister what had happened and how I felt, she asked me to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. As I did, I began to reason, ‘Steve never does any of these loving things for me.’ But the sister made me think differently by asking, ‘How many of those acts of love do you show toward your husband?’ My answer was, ‘None, for he is so difficult to live with.’ The sister softly said, ‘Selma, who is trying to be a Christian here? You or Steve?’ Realizing that I needed to adjust my thinking, I prayed to Jehovah to help me be more loving toward Steve. Slowly, things started to change.” After 17 years, Steve accepted the truth.
It seems some readers are going to extremes as to what is being implied here. It's not implied that a woman should take a beating or "suck up abuse." It's obvious this information is being exploited. In the instance that a man hits a women, there's always the option to automatically leave or dissolve your marriage. That in some cases can be an extreme and may be unnecessary. I know couples that are Jehovah's Witnesses and those that are not that worked things out and have remained married after the husband or wife had an affair. That can be much more tramatic than "he hit me."
None of this really has application to me because I've never been married. I'm just an observer.
