Posts by OneFingerSalute

45

How to Choose a Wife!

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

back in the day, when my family moved to a new congregation, i fell head over heels with a young sister who was an elder's daughter.

it wasn't long before we were talking about marriage and i was contemplating buying her an engagement ring.

my parents were not happy at all.

I heard that BS story too. It was told as truth, except they were on the beach of the Pacific, the young man refused to throw his field serve us bag into the waves and he passed the test and they got married and lived happily ever after.

If that had ever happened to me I would have told the girl to F.O for trying to test me and left her standing there with her precious witness bag!

As a side point, with that many incarnations and variations of the same story it stands to reason that the story is a lie.

27

What I Learned Today

by OneFingerSalute in

just thought i would share what i learned today sitting for several miserable hours at the circus assembly.. while i took "notes" i just cannot stand trying to type out all the details.

so suffice it to say the entire program can be covered with these few observations.. do more!

give more!

OneFingerSalute

Forgot about the Bethel heavy that was a "guest" speaker. The line to give him green handshakes was nearly twenty people deep. I noticed one guy I know who is always bitching about being broke hand him two one hundred dollar bills. Sickening the way they filed past him to grease his palms, as they greased their noses.

27

What I Learned Today

by OneFingerSalute in

just thought i would share what i learned today sitting for several miserable hours at the circus assembly.. while i took "notes" i just cannot stand trying to type out all the details.

so suffice it to say the entire program can be covered with these few observations.. do more!

give more!

OneFingerSalute

Just thought I would share what I learned today sitting for several miserable hours at the circus assembly.

While I took "notes" I just cannot stand trying to type out all the details. So suffice it to say the entire program can be covered with these few observations.

Do more! Give more! Shun DF'd family at all times, for all reason, and at all places, including social media, photos, or any other excuses you might think up or you will lose your peace and show you resent Jehovah. If you are hurt by what someone says or does, buck up it's your fault and if you don't forgive them you will lose your peace and make Jehovah sad. The governing body has given us so many wonderful things from Jehovah that we would never have gotten otherwise like that jw.xxx site and the jw TV site. What are YOU going to give back to the organization for those wonderful things. Of course the normal whines about showing self-sacrifice and contribute to the substantial expenses of this wonderful assembly provided by "the slave".

42

Something a CO once said.

by cappytan in

"there are only three reasons you should miss a meeting.

fever, fracture or funeral.

everything else is a sorry excuse.

OneFingerSalute

Ever hear that one?

Yes, I heard that statement too. Even better yet, last night's local "needs" was about missing meetings. Forget about the fever or fracture. You can pop an aspirin, and hobble in on crutches. And as for the funeral, why you know if it isn't yours it isn't any other JDubya's. After all they all know when the meeting is, so they better not be scheduling anyone's funeral for THAT time!

The point was made that, "where two or more are gathered in my name I am present also, so holy spirit is not at your home. It is here! at the Kingdom Hall!"

The F.O.G. was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Nothing but condamnation for anyone who didn't show up regardless of personal circumstances. IDIOTS!

22

Memorial talk wt escape clause

by prologos in

" --only those in the kingdom covenant were served the bread & wine by jesus--" ---false!

this phrase switches from the forgiveness of sin part to the exclusive anointed club section of the memorial talk, and it is false because: the kingdom covenant was done after the passover was done.

and the promise of thrones and judging israel in math 19:28 was not a covenant but an assurance.

OneFingerSalute

This was found on jwtalk in one of the "let's all pat ourselves on the back" forums.

"The reported number of partakers will be somewhere between zero and two, depending on which elder finally wins that argument. . ."

So we can all be clear about it now. It isn't that mythical holy spirit that decides if you are worthy to nibble the cracker and sip the wine. it is some pompous ass elder.

12

I'm confused about the Memorial? Great crowd?

by thedepressedsoul in

this was my first memorial thinking outside of the box.

last year i was starting to have questions but this is the first year i noticed a lot of bs.

can anyone clarify a few things for me?.

OneFingerSalute

I saw that too. One must touch the plate and cup as if it has some magical power to infuse you with spirituality. The goofiest thing was they way the speaker had to touch each one. He couldn't take the plate or cup and then set them on the table, he had to take them, pause, and then pass them back to the wannabe hounder who then set them on the table.

I read previously on here that a poster thought maybe the "great crowd" would be found in nu-lite to be second tier anointed. It made sense to me.

32

CO kept mispronouncing "debt"

by Red Piller in

so, this happened a while ago - but i never posted on it.

during a co visit, he gave a talk relating to jesus ransom (i think) and the "debt" that was owed by sin, etc.... he kept saying "debt" and he kept pronouncing the "b".

so it sounded like "deb-t".

OneFingerSalute

He kept saying "debt" and he kept pronouncing the "b". So it sounded like "deb-t"

Well what would we expect from someone with "better" than a college education from reading all those Awake articles about bugs, birds, and fish?

22

Borg music video a real tear-jerker

by Slave4_38y in

this is a must watch video.

it brought tears of laughter!.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx-akomec3q.

OneFingerSalute

The video explains one thing quite well.

I have wondered why the great majority of JDubya females are slovenly in their appearance. They seem to be ashamed of themselves (that's another story), they wear ugly clothes, they wear ugly shoes, they bob their hair off and never style it, they slouch when they walk, they pull their shoulders forward as if trying to hide any remote hint of breast, their bellies usually look like they are twelve months pregnant, they don't know what make-up is and if they do happen to wear it they have no clue how to artfully apply it.

Then it dawned on me watching this video. They have an obsession with cookies!

15

Send In The Clowns

by OneFingerSalute in

as i sat through another mind numbing sermon this morning i could not help thinking that the speaker was a total clown.. lime green suit, white shirt, yellow tie, blue socks barely higher than his ankle, brown shoes, and an orange cast.

all that was missing was a big red rubber nose!

and of course everyone remarked what a wonderful talk he gave.

OneFingerSalute

As I sat through another mind numbing sermon this morning I could not help thinking that the speaker was a total clown.

Lime green suit, white shirt, yellow tie, blue socks barely higher than his ankle, brown shoes, and an orange cast. All that was missing was a big red rubber nose! And of course everyone remarked what a wonderful talk he gave. The title was something about being happy even if you are hungry. It was, of course, nothing except "if you are comfortable financially you are in grave danger of dying at Armageddon. You are not doing enough in the recruiting work."

He said only if a person was spiritually hungry could they be truly happy

I wondered if Witlessess are so "HAPPY" does that mean they are spiritually starving because of the lack of "food at the proper time"? If they are spiritually full (he said that was a sign of false Christians who were going to die any day now at the Big A) then what does that say about the JDub's?

I thought for sure my head was gong to explode just sitting there listening to that tripe.

16

new photos of the stupidity ^%$#@ WTF is this %^$#

by NoMoreHustle in

i'm sure you've seen these, just in case you haven't.

https://instagram.com/p/zorhhuhis5/.

https://instagram.com/p/zba9rlhivl/.

OneFingerSalute

I would never have joined this religion had it been when I came in what it is now.

I have heard this same comment from many others, though most of them are older ones who have nowhere else to go, so they stay out of desperation and loneliness.