Hi Scarlett----------------Welcome to the Matrix!
All of us know the feeling. One day you are living in a nice world with a bright future, a ton of friends all around the world, the love of brothers and sisters, a paradise earth just around the corner---------and then out of nowhere, you wake up and find all your body parts strapped to dozens of wires sucking the energy out of you to keep the big Watchtower machine going.
Then you realize that the life you were living was all a scam, and all the promises that were made was like a carrot to keep you under CONTROL OF THE WATCHTOWER ORGANIZATION WHILE THEY SUCKED ALL THE LIFE OUT OF YOU FOR THEIR PURPOSE.
Now that you found out it feels like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBo_mVV81n8
I'm actually pretty close to your age. I also was born in and in my mid teens I started figuring out that my religion was pretty much a scam. I didn't make a big issue out of it considering I still lived at home and wasn't even legally able to get a job. So i just went along for the ride until I was ready to leave the nest and fly the coupe.
At 18 I left home, got several part time jobs, went to college and to be honest, looking back, I have no idea how I made it. I could of planned better. Perhaps stay at home until I finished college.
I know the feeling of being disgusted with the whole thing, but now you have to start looking at life in reality. Basically you are on your own and nobody is coming to help you---so you have to start getting smart and planning your every step towards a Nice future.
In real life you play the game when with your enemies, until you have the power and means to leave and care for yourself. --------But wait, -------there is no hurry, and thus you got plenty of time to "Learn" to live with the disgusting Watchtower Organization until you are able to leave.
So if you must meet with the elders, now is an excellent time to start sharping up your skills and FOOLING THEM-------- Just like they have fooled you all these years. That's Right,----Now It's Your Turn to do the fooling, and believe me, elders are some of the most stupid men you will ever meet.
Remember they still believe the Watchtower is God's True Organization he is using on earth---------WHILE YOU HAVE JUST FIGURED IT ALL OUT AT 20.
I also visit exjw reddit since most there are around my age. Guess what, there are over 55,000 PIMO jws over there between the ages of 13-30, majority------and we also have some older ones who also have waken up.
Here is a little post we had a month ago, read the comments, you'll get a laugh. And hang in there, I guarantee you things will get A LOT BETTER
https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/ip7vl6/how_waking_up_is_like_the_matrix/