professor

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Posts by professor

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  24

  And I thought I didnt have any.........

  by SpiceItUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as the general rule i don't scare easily and i am always looking into the unknown corners.

  i like the creepy and spooky.

  spiders and snakes dont freak me out either.

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  professor
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  9

  Watchtower Disrupts Space Time Continuum

  by professor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  watchtower disrupts space time continuum .

  as discovered by messenger on this thread, .

  the watchtower has disassociated itself from the watchtower!.

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  professor

  The wt has been in a separate time space continuum for many years. Unfortunately as long as there is a large enough human mass supporting this delusionary dimension, it is unable to collapse.

  Well said SS. I actually broke out of the delusioinary dimension by mistake. Others are not so lucky!
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  9

  Watchtower Disrupts Space Time Continuum

  by professor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  watchtower disrupts space time continuum .

  as discovered by messenger on this thread, .

  the watchtower has disassociated itself from the watchtower!.

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  professor

  Watchtower Disrupts Space Time Continuum

  As discovered by messenger on this thread,

  The Watchtower has disassociated itself from the Watchtower!

  the minute they became an NGO member of the United Nations!

  So if one who was a Christian chose to join those who are disapproved of God, it would be fitting for the congregation to acknowledge by a brief announcement that he had disassociated himself and is no longer one of Jehovahs Witnesses w81 9/15 23 Disfellowshiping-How to View It

  This has caused a disturbance in space and time because it is implausible to become disassociated from oneself, just as it was problematic for Malkovich to become Malkovich.

  Therefore, since the day the brief announcement was made that the Watchtower Society is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses, the Society does not actually exist in this dimension.

  This has caused confusion for Governing Body members who now exist in an alternate temporal reality where they are not allowed to say hello to themselves. Also, figuring out how not to eat with themselves has been quite troublesome. Some of them have found their consciences allow them to sustain life on liquid protein shakes which is not actually eating, while others choose only to accept food fractions.

  The reversal of the Watchtower's existence from itself has caused all of the billions of copies of the Watchtower and other Society publications ever printed to be filled with gibberish and nonsense, which words are contradictory to themselves. This exlains the "New Light" phenomena now present in these publications. In other dimensions other than our own, the effect has been much worse. In one parallel universe all Jehovah's Witnesses are to abstain from blood and anything that rhymes with blood, which presents many new challenges for them, not going out on rainy days (mud), not watching cartoons (Fudd), etc.. you get the picture.

  Edited by - professor on 2 August 2002 13:33:47
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  4

  Don't Be Surprised At WTS re B. Bowen!

  by ISP in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  remember ray franz?

  he got df'd why?

  because he had a meal with a 'da'd' individual!

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  professor

  what an excellent point messenger

  Edited by - professor on 2 August 2002 3:59:22
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  23

  How many here still loves Jehovah and the Watchtow

  by HaitianBoston in

  1. social
  2. current

  please note.... i have said the watchtower, not his organisation?.

  do you think there'll be massive exodus from the organisation in years to come?.

  i applaud bill bowen for bringing the pedophile issue to the meanstream...but somehow i still think he's pushing the issue.

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  professor

  welcome creep and rock on! sounds like you are doing just fine.
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  3

  Jws Convert Indians, Pope Wants Them Back

  by Kenneson in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems that the pope is concerned about the efforts of evangelicals to convert catholic indians and mexicans.

  he wants them to return to the fold.

  one catholic lady by the name of reyes said that "many townspeople have left the catholic church to become jehovah's witnesses.

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  professor

  Those goofy Jehovah folks!
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  64

  WHICH MEETING WAS THE MOST BORING?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the more meetings you go to the more drivel you hear.

  elder's meetings were terrible because all you ever did was gossip about how everyone wasn't doing this or that.

  meetings for field service sucked.....enough said on that.

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  professor

  Definately the Watctower study! First of all, we had to take an hour at home to study as a family so we would know the answers on Sunday. Then after the Public Talk, the Watchtower study was so damn long, especially when you realized that after song and prayer the Sunday meeting was actually and 2 and a HALF hours long, not just 2. Plus there was no relief in sight because we'd just have to have another meeting after that so that we could spend another couple of hours out in Sunday Field Service (which all good little elders' sons were required to participate in, unless we were taking the speaker out to lunch). The only hope was to end up in the same car group with someone relatively cool.

  Not to mention that the Watchtower studies were just plain uninteresting to say the least. All those types and anti-types and modern-day fulfillments and me thinking "Who comes up with this crap?"
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  3

  Remind You of Something?

  by professor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the jw comments to the scottish press available at the silent lambs website sounded very familliar!

  looks like more outright lying!

  "jehovah's witnesses further believe that it is the absolute right of the victim, his or her family or anyone else to report the matter to the authorities if they so choose.

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  professor

  The JW comments to the Scottish Press available at the Silent Lambswebsite sounded very familliar! Looks like more outright lying!

  "Jehovah's Witnesses further believe that it is the absolute right of the victim, his or her family or anyone else to report the matter to the authorities if they so choose. There are certainly no sanctions against any congregation member who reports an allegation of child abuse to the authorities." [Statement to the Scottish Press July 17, 2002]

  
  Compare:

  "As regards the alleged involvement of children, the [WatchTower Bible and tract Society] submits that children cannot become members of the association but only participate, together with their parents, in the religious activities of the community. In respect of the refusal of blood transfusion, the applicant association submits that there are no religious sanctions for a Jehovah's Witness who chooses to accept blood transfusion and that, therefore, the fact that the religious doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses is against blood transfusion cannot amount to a threat to public health." [Sworn testimony submitted by the Society in evidence before the European Human Rights Commission July 3, 1997]

  "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; and there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9.
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  5

  YOU ARE A GOAT!

  by professor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i "engaged in the worldwide preaching activity"(tm) i was told i was doing a seperating work (namely seperating the sheep from the goats).

  i understand this jw doctrine has changed.

  who are the sheep and goats now according to wts and why is field service no longer the seperation work?.

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  professor

  When I "engaged in the worldwide preaching activity"(tm) I was told I was doing a seperating work (namely seperating the sheep from the goats). I understand this JW doctrine has changed. Who are the sheep and goats now according to WTS and why is field service no longer the seperation work?

  Anyone? Anyone? Buhler?
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  50

  WHAT'S THE WORSE THING YOU DID AT THE MEETING?

  by Mary in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would have to say the worst (aka: funniest) thing i ever did at a meeting was when i sat with the circuit overseer and his wife (many moons ago......) .

  anyway, he was really prim and proper and she was of course, a very submissive wife who barely spoke without her husbands permission.

  anyway, he goes to the platform and starts off by asking th audience: who was ahab?

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  professor

  Lets see, I:

  Played worldly songs on the Kingdom Hall Piano. (Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane" Led Zepplin "Stairway to Heaven" etc.)

  Fantasized about sweet and supple JW sisters and imagined what they may look like naked.

  Made out with a JW sister in the KH parking lot.

  Winked at JW sisters during the meeting. (do you see a theme here?)

  Shared dirty jokes before and after the meeting.

  Took the KH library tapes of the meetings and dubbed over them.

  Talked to disfellowshipped persons.

  Defaced my Watchtower with silly doodles.

  Circulated a joke card about the presiding overseer (got caught for that one: ouch!)

  Didn't always pay for my literature when they were still charging.

  Falsified my pioneer hours and placements.

  Harboured secret contempt for a JW family.

  After being disfellowshipped:

  Call a random Kingdom Hall. Brother or sister answers "Hello, Kingdom Hall". Then say "HA! you just said hello to a disfellowshipped person!" and hang up.

  I'm sure there's more!

  Edited by - professor on 24 July 2002 0:24:6