Discussion with wife today led to her questioning whether I believe or not. I told her that I just can't roll over and accept everything new thing they say just like that. We were, of course, talking about the "new light". She said we should trust them as they are God's channel.
First, a bit of a disclaimer... my wife is very fragile emotionally, so I had to tread very, very carefully. I think I did that successfully, but here's a brief recap of what happened from this point forward:
I said that, just like the story of the boy who cried wolf, the Society has done just that one too many times for my taste, and it simply boils down to trust. I told her that whether or not they are the faithful and discreet slave or not is not my big issue. My issue is the trust issue. They came out and said they have not yet been appointed over all of Christs' belongings, which the OM book said is the number one reason we *should* trust them. Therefore, if they keep changing their minds about things, how can we say they are guided by God's spirit? Never once in the scriptures did Jehovah tell his prophets one thing, then later change it up, then later change it up again. We call that "progressive understanding" or "new light", but in reality, that's just an excuse for previously wrong understandings. And, even if He had, why would his spirit guide the Society into false claims where people can so easily pick up on it and call them out on it?
At this point, she started saying that I had a mental illness. I said: "Wait a sec... just because I read the Bible, and where it says something that differs with the Society, that means *I* have a mental illness?" She said she knew something was wrong some time ago when I brought up that I didn't know whether the Society's stance on the cross was correct. She said she spent two hours researching it and "it was clear as a bell to me." I asked where she did her research. She exclaimed: "In the publications!" I said, "Yeah, but the publications quote secular sources that support their view. There are other sources that say otherwise." She said: "Do you think you are smarter than the Society? You're not." I said: "Of course not, but am I supposed to take things at face value? That makes no sense. The Society looks at secular sources, so why can't I?" She didn't have much to say about that. During the course of the conversation, she said all the things that one would expect. At one point, she said, "You have to wait on Jehovah to clarify things, and some things may not ever be clarified this side of Armageddon." Then, she proceeded to say that we'll have a new Bible in the new system. I said: "What are you talking about?" She said, "The new scrolls." My jaw dropped a little, then I said, "You mean scroll." She started to get upset with me. I said, "Hey... it was one of my research projects. There's no such thing as 'new scrolls'. It's not in the Bible at all." She didn't want to hear that one bit, and I didn't proceed with explaining what the scroll was actually about.
The conversation was edgy, but not angry, and I wasn't about to hit her with both barrels, so to speak. I told her that after learning what I know, it's kinda hard to not dwell on it and just go back to having the Society do all my research for me. I also told her that it wouldn't be so bad if the Society were not so dogmatic with everything, because they are NOT right all the time, and because the HAVE changed many, many times, so my frustration is with their dogmatism and not allowing us to ask questions freely.
The conversation ended somewhat friendly (as friendly as it could be, I suppose), as I told her that I was not out to change her mind about things, and that it will be hard for me to just simply forget everything I now know. She was pretty upset, and as most of you can guess, she hinted that the marriage did indeed depend on me being a good little witness boy.
This was my first experience of what it may be like some time down the road. To those of you who have gone through this... I now understand more fully.
