told on me of course.
apparently, the other jw thought he was kidding.. i just said, you tell on me and take my family from me, we are done.
we will get a divorce and you will lose me, your home, and more then likely won't get to see your kids everyday the way you get to now.
You tell him! When he runs to the elders. I hope you tell them everything!
I only told on myself and the jerk let me take the fall. Claiming he would stand by my decision to confess. He got disfellowshipped for something I did and not all the horrible things he did!
40 years later, I still call him a coward!
i don't even know where to start.. more than anything, i'd like to say that i am not a woman of vengeance.
i am very much a forgiving person.
if you say "i'm sorry," and you're genuine, i can move on from it quickly and easily.
Lost is telling you how it is!
i don't even know where to start.. more than anything, i'd like to say that i am not a woman of vengeance.
i am very much a forgiving person.
if you say "i'm sorry," and you're genuine, i can move on from it quickly and easily.
Losingit, I hope I did not add more stress when your seeking answers.
Divorce is hard enough, and it is obvious that You are a very strong woman. Someone who joined the JW for the sake of your marriage really says your love for your husband and family life.
Reinstatement, that might help while your going through child custody. At least until your divorce is over. Not too sure how you will cope consideing it sometimes takes years and elders play lots of head games.
My personal experience, I wish that I would have left the borg and never looked back. Instead I dragged out years of elders meetings and was used as a role model for children. A role model: look at her dfd make sure you do not end up like her. blah,blah,blah.
In the real world I was a role model for women who suffered from all kinds of issues such as divorcement,abuse, children neglect, and etc,. Going thru changes hurts and counselling helps.
Also, I wished my parents never raised me as a JW and focused on my education. As parents it was their duties to train children that education does not stop at high school. As Christians, that was there obligations for my future. Instead of focusing on education they focued on bibical concepts like 1914,evolution,Gods name, soul,and Armageddon. I did get a higher education with the Theocratic Minstry School. Later, as an adult a college education.
I mentioned therapy because it is a good thing! Some towns have support groups to help women help other women. They really could help you with your the stress of divorce. You might find a local exjw group to help you with your reinstatement. JW-Net is a really good site I have been here off and on for years but it is not the same as a group.
Men! you really wonder what they are thinking! Some men need that structure of the JW are they just fall a part. In your case, You helped him and you loved him even becoming a JW for him. Err, men! just being a woman and venting. To be honest with you:
You and your husband sound young and in love, am I right? At one time.There is a big problem with the Jehovahs Witnesses they neglect helping young couples. What happens with young in love married couples? Tell me if I am wrong. Elders do not know how to deal with teaching couples to keep the love for each other after one sin aganst the other. I say, "throw the bath water out and keep the baby." Elders just here the problems and judge unfit for the congregation safety.
There is no doubt with the right therapy and help you would probably still be married. I do not care who did what! It does not matter because if YOU talked with any older couple you will find a lot of marriages have gone through horrible problems. Adultry, drugs, pornography, partying,affairs.Some times i wonder if the husband is just as hurt and confused but reacting in his own way. Granted he is not calling, and that might be how he is handling things right now. Granted you wish you could get him away from the cult. Yes I here you are both dfd and he is not going. I can assume he is doing his own thing and your going to meetings.
Years from now both of you will look back and wish you handled things different. Wished you had a mature couple you can work these problems out with. The elders should suggest marriage counseling but they have too many people they are trying to help. Anyhow, look in the Wt I am sure there is in article that states some times couples can seek marriage counselling or therapy. Yet did any elder show you the correct WT. They should be prepared wih a list of counselors.
If your husband was an excellent father before the problems and you helped him. Perhaps I am wrong but he can get back on track.
Anyhow, sorry I am prying.
Divorce is sad and the elders were in the wrong by not spending enough time helping people.
Worst case, Hope you can work out your mutual child custody. Some one already posted child custody agreement.
I am just mad at the elders with you!
Also, they do Mark individuals and it followes you from KH to KH.
You do reaize that only the orginal elders are to know why you got disfellowshipped.
Again hope I did not cause you more stress.
i don't even know where to start.. more than anything, i'd like to say that i am not a woman of vengeance.
i am very much a forgiving person.
if you say "i'm sorry," and you're genuine, i can move on from it quickly and easily.
(Custody issues scare me, which is why I am trying to get reinstated.)
Bull
(Right now, they spend the majority of their time with me. )
That makes you the primary care giver it gives you more power in court.
(Funny, I always thought he was such an excellent father. )
(He can't bother to even call to say goodnight now.)
(It depresses me. Now I see he was an excellent father because I made him so, not because he really was one.)
What ever! trying to get reinstated because of custody issues. Two different issues in the court system. Again your logic can work against you if your not careful.
(Your husband and you are getting divorced and you think he should call to say good night.)
Is there something about divorce that you do not understand.
(Your children are with you most of the time.)
Good that makes you the primary care giver. But if you keep going to meetings and take your children childrenon your time, JWs might become their primary religion.
(You want to attend meetings just to hear what the JWS are teaching your children.)
How about living your life for you and what is in your childrens best interest.
(You think you made your husband an excellent father.)
Seek therapy.
i don't even know where to start.. more than anything, i'd like to say that i am not a woman of vengeance.
i am very much a forgiving person.
if you say "i'm sorry," and you're genuine, i can move on from it quickly and easily.
Just remember this organization is evil.
If you think you can make these elders lives miserable with what ever, Think again. Elders like custody battles and will be in that court room standing against you.
Make sure you have the best attorney.
What I know is they will lie about you and mark you as brazen. Make you look like an unfit mother.
I am just saying it is not what you know but what you do not know.
What is your exhusband not telling you?
i don't even know where to start.. more than anything, i'd like to say that i am not a woman of vengeance.
i am very much a forgiving person.
if you say "i'm sorry," and you're genuine, i can move on from it quickly and easily.
I understand your mad but who applied for the divorce?
Make sure that the children have the right to visit other faiths.
The elders will lie in court so be careful.
I know someone who got disfellowshipped and lost custody and rights to see the child all because of spouse lied. In the long run it was the spouse that got custudy who cheated but did not get dfd. The other one was made out like a bad parent and got dfd.
No matter what it is a bummer when people confess their sins just to have sins put out there among elders in letters.
It happens.
Did you know that only your orginal elders are to know why you got dfd? Those are the elders you confessed and that is it.
No letters are to ever state your sins. I really hate elders.
with all the back-door politics, white-washing of elder mistakes, selective enforcement of rules etc.
aren't elders not much different than any other political position out there in the world (mayor, congressman, senator etc.)?
doesn't the same hold true as well for co, do, etc.?
Are women involved in the elders private meetings where they vote on how to spend money?
with all the back-door politics, white-washing of elder mistakes, selective enforcement of rules etc.
aren't elders not much different than any other political position out there in the world (mayor, congressman, senator etc.)?
doesn't the same hold true as well for co, do, etc.?
Politicians spends the people's money.
Governing Body spends the people's money.
You know elders argue how to spend extra money. Did it right before my elders meeting. Shocked me.
After the Kingdom Hall bills are paid elders VOTE how to spend the extra money. Majority vote wins.
It is nothing but politics that is why it is government ruled.
The more I think about it, I remember when we took votes at the Kingdom Hall,Lol, the majority did not matter. The overseer had the last say.
I think they have a little columnist attitude.
the irony is so thick you can cut a knife with it.
the watchtower must have some real cognitive dissonance.
read it for your self:.
LOL, Okay I tried but failed! Maybe I can not relate to the married borg life.
the irony is so thick you can cut a knife with it.
the watchtower must have some real cognitive dissonance.
read it for your self:.
Cognitive dissonance That is how they break people into mind control. The WTBTS plays upon our minds to question something that the brain can not prove one way or another. Two contradicting thoughts.
This article is written for a man to handle"a womans anger" Did the WTBTS ever stop to teach the husband to be speak honestly and just teach the man to admit he was wrong. No!
He suppose to utterance( always used referring to holy spirit) in this case words utterance with salt. Really! Hmmm, I thought utterance was always referring to receiving Holy Spirit speaking what the spirit said! According to Job salt is used for seasoning food. In this artcle utterances is just words and salt has nothing to do with making food taste better.
When did you ever see utterance used for daily words with salt. Not! Help, my head hurts.
Apparently, husbands recieve some extra holy spirit so he can deal with his pissed off wife. Hmm, By applying spiritual salt to his tongue forces uttering to go back to Christ therefore rejecting a sudden urge to reply truthfully.
Mybe it does not mean that at all. Maybe it is teaching men how to handle their nagging wives. Giving them proper guide lines to stay out of trouble by keeping their mouths shut. But if that were the reason why not just state it which the Faithful and Discreet Slave neglects to do.
Hmmm, I think the article is trying to prove that unlike the wife the husband is giving the power to speak with special discernment and he needs to learn how to use his abilties. Or it just means that husbands need to hold there thoughts back. Apparently, wives do not have ability to decern because her back is turned and she is mad!. She already said what was on her mind and she applied honesty. However, if husbands had his wives ability then they would not need an article written to learn how to descern and he would not look like a hurt child.
Either way the messeage is clear. Wives are the B.tches and the man lookes beat up.
This is why I do not read Wt because I do not have the abily to decern but can speak the truth.
