Ok ChiChi,
I am married to a man who was raised JW, left as a teen, never dunked. He was out of 30 years, didn't ever plan to go back but the red flag I ignored was he said he woud never attend another church and he still believed what the JW teach. He promised to raise our now 8 year old daughter Catholic, and not to confuse her with his beliefs until she was out of schoo, then he would share if she asked questions. ( My religion and my other kids when to school there as well) Then two+ years ago began studying again. ( I believe due to the promise ofno more suffering, since he began having some very difficult health problems and the depression thay goes with it, plus his mother began putting hte pressure/guilt on) In June it will be two years since he decided he must convert me, and told our daughter she was learing lies.
It was like a bomb had been dropped within ourmarriage and my trust withhim flew out the window. He apolgized a few days later saying he went about it al wrong, and since that time says he is always going abou thing wrong ( he blames me, telling me my questions are to start fights, that I atack him.....all because I did by research, REAL research this time and fount out the TTAT. I have since sopped trying to inform him of all tat Ihave learned and trying to go about fighting fire with fire, using repetition in feeding his ego outside of the WTS, making simple, on confrontational comments on things that contradict the WTS teachings.
Our mariage is in serious trouble. He is brainwashed, he occasionally shows signs that the seeds of doubt might take hold, but most of the time he does not.
Right now, we are both unhappy, but we were very happy before he went back to the meetings and began studying. Last night he said he was scared for our marriage because of my comment in couples therapy that I have no problemwith him reading his Bilbe, but not the WRT materials, and if I saw him reading any I would leave the room. Period. ( Though I think my strategy should maybe be that I then bring in COC or in search of Christian Freedom, etc... )
If I could look into a crystal ball before we were married, I would have stopped dating him. This is not a marriage that anyone wants to be in. He even physically abused me several weeks ago, of course for many weeks blaming it all on me. He "Says" a lot of what he is "supposed to" eventually, but I have learned he really doesn't mean much of it. I only recently discovered through reading a book about it, that he is a typeof verbal abuser that is hard to detect. Blame, telling me my concerns are not valid, tells me some topics are never up for discussion, I just dn't know any better, etc... When he attends meetings , studies, conventions, he has the glazed over look in his face and he begins to reat me as if he were to dominate over me. I have grown to be a pretty strong person and I will NOT tolerate that behavior.
So unless he sees TTATT, then this marriage will not be happy. So I msut say, JW and NON JW is not a happy situation.
