frogonmytoe

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Posts by frogonmytoe

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  25

  Looking up scriptures during meetings

  by Stealth in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  recently i attended a jw funeral after a 12 year fade.

  i did not bring a bible to the talk.

  i found it somewhat odd and distracting to the flow of the talk at how much time was spent by all the jws looking up scriptures in the bible that they have all have read 1,000s of times before.

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  frogonmytoe

  Yes, it always was the familiar scriptures wasn't it?! Very true about that dead time. But then we were checking what the word of God said, so time well spent
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  24

  What problem did being a JW leave with your personality?

  by frogonmytoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and i don't (necessarily) mean a religious or spiritual one.. for example, i think the traces of guilt and paranoia i often fight with come from being a born-in, but my biggest issue by far is not being able to live in the moment.. i have listened to the power of now audiobook (and eckhart tolle's voice put me to sleep) so i read it instead.

  i have read other self-help books, most of them buddhist in leaning, but i still find it hard to stop thinking only in the future (thanks to the great trib, armageddon), or in the past (jesus, flood, 1914 being responsible for that).

  and whilst i no longer believe the big a is looming, and barely give anything else a second thought, my behaviour has projected itself, and i still find it difficult just to 'be' in the moment, enjoying and savouring what i'm doing, and doing it to the best of my ability, i'm forever thinking what is coming up, and what i did badly last time.. my sister said the last time i visited her that she felt like she was waiting for something to happen "but not like armageddon, something else".

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  frogonmytoe

  And I don't (necessarily) mean a religious or spiritual one.

  For example, I think the traces of guilt and paranoia I often fight with come from being a born-in, but my biggest issue by far is not being able to live in the moment.

  I have listened to the Power of Now audiobook (and Eckhart Tolle's voice put me to sleep) so I read it instead. I have read other self-help books, most of them buddhist in leaning, but I still find it hard to stop thinking only in the future (thanks to the Great Trib, Armageddon), or in the past (Jesus, Flood, 1914 being responsible for that). And whilst I no longer believe the big A is looming, and barely give anything else a second thought, my behaviour has projected itself, and I still find it difficult just to 'be' in the moment, enjoying and savouring what I'm doing, and doing it to the best of my ability, I'm forever thinking what is coming up, and what I did badly last time.

  My sister said the last time I visited her that she felt like she was waiting for something to happen "but not like Armageddon, something else". I should've told her that is was Armageddon, but as it keeps moving further away her pathologic future-gazing was making her obsessed.

  Of course, I might be predisposed to this behaviour, but being a JW couldn't have helped.

  So what less obvious problems are you left with?
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  5

  funny story posted by on the UK exjw facebook site

  by bigmac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all credit to wendy scotland for this one:-.

  wendy scotland.

  ok guys thought i would pass this on i think its so funny ..............i was told yesterday that a 8 year old boy at the kingdom hall was playing up as he didnt want to be there, and his mother grabbed hold of him and frog marched him (making a big scene) out of the hall, she flung open the back doors and took him outside a few seconds later he runs back in and shouts at the top of his lungs " oh and by the way a merry christmas to you all" before his mother drags him out again, got to bless the wee soul.

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  frogonmytoe

  I heard this about 25 years ago...
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  22

  Smurf WArs

  by snare&racket in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  growing up in the uk we didnt hear any stories about smurfs being demonic or evil etc, i watched the smurfs without a bad consciense.. what were the stories?

  the rules and the reasons why?

  how widespread was this crazy idea?.

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  frogonmytoe

  Roberta - hilarious!! Were they extra-hard to remove stickers?

  Snare&Racket - not sure how old you are, but do you remember Rentaghost? I used to watch it religiously, and all my friends were most disgusted...

  Oh and Grange Hill of course.
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  122

  Suspicious

  by Suspicious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i guess i'm new here.

  born in and an ms. things just hasn't been making sense the more i think about it.

  i'm starting to get suspicious.

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  frogonmytoe

  Hi Suspicious,

  I can't add much to what these guys have already said, you will become yourself and not some identikit 'apostate'. I'm not sure many of us on here identify as apostate, just people who woke up. I think being a born-in, but with a non-witness parent, has made me question things for years and I now consider myself agnostic, but that's just my journey, you may well have a faith and find some other way to express it. There are no expectations on how to live our lives other than those we put on ourselves, and why would we do that to ourselves?!

  In the meantime, enjoy the ride!
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  18

  Out and Gay but fed up of 'fading' - advice please.

  by frogonmytoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  someone once quoted gandhi to me, but i don't actually think it was gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.. how many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst jws?.

  i came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends.

  they were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.. i even asked the elders for help.

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  frogonmytoe

  Well I am a path-of-least-resistance type of guy, Steve2. But my family know I'm gay, so I think the girlfriend idea might not work!

  Stuck in, thank you for commenting, what you said has really touched me. I don't judge you as fake, I know how strong you must have to be, and your situation is a thousand times more complicated than mine.
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  4

  THE WORLD IS TOAST

  by steve2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have often lain awake nights pondering the deeper things of scripture.

  not for me re-runs of cheers or trashy magazines to help me sleep.

  no, for i am an earnest bible student who delves into scripture night and day.. today's text that invited deep plummeting was mathew 24:14 which in the newly translated chef's bible reads, "for this good butter will be spread all over the bread and then in the end be toasted.

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  frogonmytoe

  I like Leviticus in the chef's bible about how to eat "cock". I think some people also believe that to be literal, but I think it refers to penis.
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  20

  I am free

  by new hope and happiness in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yes the title of my first post was a little negative " shatterd faith" and the truth is i dont feel like that at all.. its wonderful being in a state of not knowing as it makes hope possible.

  and what i now learn i will learn from within and also enjoy doubt.. so why do i call this post " i am free"?

  because i will no longer allow a tiny few control the direction of my life.

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  frogonmytoe

  New hope, enjoy your freedom, we spend years being told that not having hope must be awful, but hope based on such controlling megalomaniacs is no hope as far as I'm concerned.

  LOL @Steve2. I'll find a layby with good vegetation cover...
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  18

  Out and Gay but fed up of 'fading' - advice please.

  by frogonmytoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  someone once quoted gandhi to me, but i don't actually think it was gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.. how many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst jws?.

  i came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends.

  they were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.. i even asked the elders for help.

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  frogonmytoe

  Thank you all, I think the general trend is towards what I know to be the best decision for me emotionally and mentally, easy peasy as Parakeet says.

  Irondork - the problem is I'm SO gay I have no idea to what fishy thing you might be referring ...I'll tell you a spooky story if you like, but it's not for public consumption.

  Exwhyzee - that's the nail on the head. I really feel like I am trying to create this perfect life where my JW family and boyfriend can intermingle and be happy, it's never going to happen.

  Joe and Free@last - you're right, a private reproof, and I know for a fact if I had even admitted to the feelings to my previous congregation they would have publically flayed me whilst feeding me my genitals.

  Seraphim, I trust my man like no one else before (and it's difficult for me to trust people, even more so with other gay men!) and I really see this being long-term. And in a way, even if I didn't, this is my life, so those that don't approve of it shouldn't be allowed in it to judge it. Easier said than done I guess.

  Onthewayout - great idea, I'll give it some thought. I actually think one of my sisters (we have a weird know-what-the-other-is-thinking thing) has worked it out, as she asked me if I was happy "because if you are out the truth you need to be happy"

  And SAHS, I will check out your post, I'd be interested in your experience.

  thanks again. I'll make my next post a bit more giving than taking...
• 
  18

  Out and Gay but fed up of 'fading' - advice please.

  by frogonmytoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  someone once quoted gandhi to me, but i don't actually think it was gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.. how many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst jws?.

  i came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends.

  they were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.. i even asked the elders for help.

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  frogonmytoe

  Someone once quoted Gandhi to me, but I don't actually think it was Gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.

  How many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst JWs?

  I came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends. They were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.

  I even asked the Elders for help. That was interesting, but certainly not a full-out rejection. Then I started having sex. Then after about 8 years I confessed (!?) to it, and wasn't disfellowshipped. Although I do remember going on the service with an elder the day after my Judicial Committee and being met on the doors by no less than three semi-naked men, ALL of them attractive. Made me laugh anyway...

  At age 35 I met my boyfriend and fell in love and moved countries to be with him. We have set up a home and have a life here, but none of my JW family know about this happiness and joy I have in my life. I ring my sisters regularly and visit twice a year, but say nothing of what my life entails here, I can't share what is most important for me. My family have known for the last year that I haven't been going to meetings (in reality, for about 4 and a half years) which I was hoping to pave the way to 'fade' for long enough so that they felt no need to get me thrown out when I did tell them about my boyfriend. This plan could possibly be completely flawed from the outset, and not worth my time and trouble.

  But now I am thinking I'd rather be unable to talk to my family, but that they know I'm happy; than not be completely honest with them and keep in contact. I love them all and feel I am neither respecting them nor my partner by denying his existence, but lack of contact still scares me. I am still trying to work out what is best to do. Of course, there are no guarantees, either I will be completely shunned if disfellowshipped, or spared disfellowshipping if I try to 'fade'.

  Do anyone, gay or straight, have advice, personal experience or a wet slap with a cold fish to knock some sense into me?

  frogonmytoe