Lydia,
Yes, I remember those feelings very clearly. As Seeker pointed out, these feelings were especially strong in those of us who were raised as witnesses. However these feelings could happen to newer JWs too. As you stated those feelings can creep into every area of your life. It’s really not a surprise when you start realizing how many unreasonable expectations were placed on us along with tons of guilt trips via parents, meetings and literature.
JWs are told they are the happiest people on the earth. And when you aren’t as they describe it makes you think there must be something wrong with you.
Before I quit going to meetings I started realizing that it was not me who had the problem. First I quit reading articles that were nothing but huge guilt trips. I started feeling some relief. Later when I completely quit feeding myself all their negative self degrading literature and quit going to all meetings I found even more peace and inner contentment .I now can be a happy person and a good wife and mother. I now am able to commit myself to those I love the most. I no longer feel like God disapproves of me.
I want others to be free of those feelings too. You don’t have to feel that way about yourself. Before this I felt tired, trapped and hopeless because there was just no way I could live up. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Ranchette