My husband and I disassociated. We weren't really aware of fading. But for me I wanted a clean break. I wanted to celebrate holidays and drink and smoke openly. Yes my parents and brother shun me. This has not been easy, but they really are toxic, extremely critical people. I wish I could give you a better answer, but each individual has to do what is best for them.
Posts by eewx2
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42To Fade or Disassociate
by Jules Saturn inhello to all, so i did want to talk about this topic because i think it is very important to me.
i have a grandfather who faded several decades ago.
he occasionally attends an assembly and the memorial but no longer attends meetings or goes on field service.
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45
Clapping and singing in Conventions... like the evangelicals??
by ILoveTTATT2 inhttps://www.facebook.com/traslapados/videos/1470101566382318/?hc_ref=otherwhat do you think of this video?.
do you think they're imitating evangelicals?is this happening in other places?
?.
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eewx2
I am so glad I left. I have no rhythm. LOL
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45
How did you feel when you got baptized?
by Schnufti inback in 2005, i remember sitting in the stadium in the special rows with 42 others.
8000 people were looking at us - maybe even with a binocular - while listening to the speech.
my family and my friends among them, being all proud of me.. i don't remember being enthusiastic.
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eewx2
I remember feeling excited and proud. Thought my parents would be proud. I was only 13. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Took me close to 22 years but I left. Now THAT was the best day of my life. (J/K-but it does rank up there with getting married and bearing children. LOL)
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25
Is disassociating worth the hassle?
by HereIgo ini have been out now for 6 years but lately i have been giving some thought to da.
i just kind of feel that chapter in my life is still open and for some reason i feel like da'ing might close that chapter but i'm not entirely sure.
im not df either, when i left i basically faded and disappeared.
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eewx2
My husband and I disassociated. I wanted to make a clean break so I could celebrate holidays and do whatever I wanted. In doing so, I lost my parents and brother. I must say I miss them, but still feel I made the right decision-for ME. Everyone must choose for themselves and I definitely can see why a lot of you haven't done it. Also when I left I didn't really know about fading. I had a very all or nothing view.
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34
Ridiculous ways you kept your "time going" in service?
by HereIgo ini used to go out early mornings with 2 pioneer elders, we would drive 20 miles out of the territory (a big no-no) to look for hikers to preach to lol of course there were never any hikers.
then off to starbucks for another hour lol easy way to count 2-4 hours.
i am chuckling as i write this, what a joke!.
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eewx2
Dearie me, I see none of you ever went out in service with my mom. She was reluctant to take a break even for the bathroom. Seriously she would take time off for that. I hated service because of her. When I moved to a different congregation, they were much more lax with their time. But I felt guilty and still took off time for everything else they did in service. What a weirdo I was LOL.
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58
What's The First "Worldly" Thing You Did When You Exited The Cult?
by pale.emperor inwhen you finally and officially exited the cult, whether it be by disfellowshipping, disassociating or fading - what was the first things you did that are considered "worldly"?.
for me, it was like crash landing on another planet that looked like earth but was completely different to the earth i knew.
i wanted to learn everything that i thought i already knew.. first things i did:.
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eewx2
I did many, many things. I went a bit crazy. But about 9 months before we left the org, I went to my grandmother's funeral in a -GASP- church. Then on Xmas eve which was about 2 weeks before we formally disassociated we smoked weed. And I cooked a big ham dinner on Xmas. All we needed was a tree and presents!!
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36
Easier to be a JW now?
by Xanthippe inreading konceptual's account of talking to cart 'witnesses' and it reminded me that when we left in '89 we thought the religion would do one of two things.
get more hardline, consequently lose members and eventually come to an end in some way.
or ease up on the members, fewer rules, less fs time, less meetings, just to keep them in.. all the recent apostate stuff, treatment of dfed kids and the hardline attitude to people who leave or try to fade has confused me, made me think they are harder on the r+f., but i don't think this is true.
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eewx2
I dunno. I still am not going back LOL. But their use of tablets and stuff makes me laugh. I remember back in 2005 or 2006 there was a website that you could print out the scriptures for the meetings. They (whoever they are) had a fit and told us not to use it because we needed to look stuff up in the Bible. Do they even still use Bibles or is it all on the tablet now?
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66
When you were fully in, did you believe that you would not die?
by TTWSYF ini know that it must seem silly to ask, but my brother and his family think that the big a will arrive before they die.
i tried to explain to my brother that everyone else who has ever lived in the past has died and only jesus has [physically] rose from the dead.. it is amazing that anyone could buy that line.
what crazy cult culture that could make people believe such nonsense?!.
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eewx2
Yes, I believed I would not die. I believed I wouldn't get old. Now I am the big 4-0, and grapple with the idea of growing older. I, too thought that I would go thru Armageddon and be with my husband forever. Now I know that I must cherish this life to the best of my ability, but sometimes it is still hard to think I don't have eternity to do whatever I want.
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44
Why Do People Become Jehovah's Witnesses?
by minimus inbesides being raised in the religion , why do people become jws?
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eewx2
For my mom I think she was at a sort of crossroads in her life. Her grandmother had died, she had 2 small children, and a so-so marriage. I think she liked all the rules as she is a control freak.I would say she was having a midlife crisis but she would have been in her early twenties then. My dad followed about 4 years later. I think he liked all the rules too. And of course they both like having a "hope". I think they were two lost souls who felt like they found something to cling to.
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51
" you will never grow old..."
by mrquik in" you will never grow old..." a more grievous lie is hard to imagine.
i heard this one first in 1957. i was 6. my mother had just converted.
i heard it many times after that.
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eewx2
This thread breaks my heart. I will turn 40 in a week. I know that is relatively young, but I was never supposed to graduate high school. My dad said my son wouldn't go to kindergarten because the new system would come. My son turns 13 four days after my birthday. I really struggle with getting older. I have been out for 5 and a half years, but I still struggle sometimes. I feel for my parents who are so blinded by the organization that they will likely die believing this garbage. My brother too. He will be 36 this year, and I doubt he will ever wake up either. It is just sad to me. Thanks for reading and to all who shared their experiences.