Honey you are so angry! Get some sleep. Eat more sweets. Get a massage. Read more Psalms.
Everything is going to be ok.
I'm Not going to try to convince you I was a witness for 40 years, that I'm not English, that I love the Bible and God. All those things are true. But really, you should do more things that make you happy. This is no way to spend your life, you will get high blood pressure.