Posts by FayeDunaway

13

Community Outside of a Religious Setting

by What Now? in

jw
friends

this is the one thing that i have struggled with since leaving the organization.

i recognize the need and value of belonging somewhere, being a part of something, showing up weekly to a community where me and my husband and children are loved and utilized and incorporated and cared for.

a place where are my kids qualities are nurtured and encouraged , and then reigned in and developed when needed.

FayeDunaway

I found a traditional church family home and from it have everything that was good about JW's and none of the bad. But it sounds like you want very non traditional! Lisarose recommended the UCC and that is a good one, but if you don't want to do the Jesus thing, I recommend the UU's....Unitarian Universalists. They are really liberal and family oriented and teach values. What is "right" is multidirectional...There are some amongst them who are Christians, Jews, spiritualists...you name it....they don't consider any way the only way. They are the opposite of judgmental and sort of hippie and fun. We go to some UU stuff and always end up hearing or being involved in deep philosophical or political or scientific discussions. These aren't shallow people, they love to think and think openly. I think you may enjoy them.

50

Elder asking for help

by untruth in

this is my first time posting on here so i’m not sure where to start.

i’m trying to keep it as short as possible since i could expand much more.

i’ve been in the process of waking up in the last year and a half.

FayeDunaway

I am not sure if someone else has said it, but I would stick as closely as possible to the Bible if I was pointing something out to her that is contrary to witnesses. You will need to do a lot of research. You may need to get out the kingdom interlinnear somewhere down the line. But use the Bible. Eventually you may be able to show outside research from random websites (not apostate anything, ever..until she's well out mentally.) Be slow (I know it's hard! You want to start living your own life finally!!!!) but be slow, or your family will be more jeopardized.

It seems like there is much more glorification of the GB since I've left, their word seems to be considered on par with the Bible now, so this is going to be tricky.

Maybe more than specific doctrine, tho, is a change of outlook. Opening your eyes lets you see people in a different light. You see the genuineness and goodness in people who are not witnesses. Maybe make comments to your wife about people who you know who are good people who are not witnesses, and share a more positive vibe with her regarding living in the here and now. And most importantly, shower her with attention and affection, so she never needs to doubt that you love her.

58

What's The First "Worldly" Thing You Did When You Exited The Cult?

by pale.emperor in

when you finally and officially exited the cult, whether it be by disfellowshipping, disassociating or fading - what was the first things you did that are considered "worldly"?.

for me, it was like crash landing on another planet that looked like earth but was completely different to the earth i knew.

i wanted to learn everything that i thought i already knew.. first things i did:.

FayeDunaway

James, I was constantly looking over my shoulder. When we celebrated Christmas the first time, I put the tree in an odd corner of an odd room that no one could see from outside the house. When I went to church, I parked where no one could see and recognize the car. Halloween, I figured we were safe since any witnesses were hiding in their basements :).

Now, instead of being scared that someone will see us, I'm like 'look, you see this Christmas wrap in my cart? See these ornaments? Aren't they pretty? I can do this, and you can't!'

58

What's The First "Worldly" Thing You Did When You Exited The Cult?

by pale.emperor in

when you finally and officially exited the cult, whether it be by disfellowshipping, disassociating or fading - what was the first things you did that are considered "worldly"?.

for me, it was like crash landing on another planet that looked like earth but was completely different to the earth i knew.

i wanted to learn everything that i thought i already knew.. first things i did:.

FayeDunaway

Read Harry Potter. Voted. Celebrated my daughter's birthday at Disneyworld.

29

dealing with religion after leaving the witnesses

by joker in

i’ve noticed many people posting on this site seem to have completely given up on religion/spirituality.. but some have attended services at another religion, or just follow their own heart regarding what to believe.. my question is how does anyone deal after leaving with all of the witness crap that we believed about babylon the great, the great harlot, spiritual prostitute, etc., etc.

i’m finding out that i seem to have built myself a pretty solid wall regarding religion.. some people can just chuck all beliefs into one basket saying that they are all basically garbage,,, and that is ok, no problem i respect that.. but for myself there is a certain part of my personality that needs a spiritual belief not like the witnesses in any way, but something to meditate on, and contemplate.. being a witness taught me how bad it is to actually think of god in any other way besides what the jw’s believe.

and now when i attend any other service, the dark jw side seems to pop out and seriously makes me believe that everything i see/do/say is wrong.

FayeDunaway

Research, buddy. Look into the trinity and the cross etc through sources NOT witness and see what they say. There's all sorts of info out there. I did the research and am happy at a liberal Protestant mainline church. Most of us believe in evolution and all of us believe in freedom. You have to do the research tho before you can make peace with it.

35

My Favouite Inappropriate Watchtower Pictures

by pale.emperor in

i'd love to see you're favorite wt illustrations/photo's that they think are fine to print - but are actually kind of creepy/wierd.. .

here's my three fave from my book of bible stories (yes, a book for children!)..

man gets his head nailed into the floor with a tent pin by a good jehovah worshipper:.

FayeDunaway

I think the message is 'if you care about your dog, you better be faithful to Jehovah or else your dog will die a horrible death!'

Manipulative bastards. I looked at that picture a million times when I was little too.

23

Undecided

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

i have recently been disfellowshipped (after being reinstated in march).

i saw a group of jws gathered in the town car park yesterday.

they seemed startled when they recognised my car and talked amongst themselves giving one another a satisfied grin!

FayeDunaway

There are only so many weekends and such little free time that each one of us has in life. Why waste any of it where you don't REALLY want to be? Let them have their petty stupid thoughts about you. Move on with your life, they will stay stuck in their own little prisons, but you can move on.

48

Happiness and Freedom On A Paradise Earth?

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

at a recent meeting there was a watchtower article about life in paradise.

they were saying that even when witnesses finally get there they will still be under the strict instructions from the elders and gb.

they may be given jobs that they will find unpleasant, also the preaching work will be ongoing because of all the resurrected people who need to learn about why they are given another chance.

FayeDunaway

North Korea over the whole entire earth. Indoctrination camps, slave labor. Some people "more equal" than others.

JW Paradise = hell.

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

FayeDunaway

Pale.emperor it took me about 2 years after leaving to stop feeling guilty about refuting their stupid rules and habits. And that was AFTER doing full research on their history and doctrine. The percentage of "witness" still in me faded slowly, it will for you too.

14

2016 RC & my family

by BeautifulMind in

jw
friends

i hope you are all well.

i haven't posted in a little while.

i've just been adjusting and enjoying my new life outside of the org.

FayeDunaway

I'm so sorry. ...hopefully she will think more on it, and what you said about beliefs and shunning, and miss her son and grandkids, and let herself ease up. That probably won't happen but it might. Sometimes when someone close starts doubting, that lets us doubt more easily too.

I hope your husband can deal with this ok. Not fun, or natural, to lose your mom.