BB,
Tried to post this last night but the board didn't respond.
I can feel your pain that you have lived with for the past decade. I too have had a difficult time with more than my share of heartbreak. I have been a witness for the past 60 years and have seen a lot of changes in the org. Some good and some dreadful. I have no power to change the injustices I have suffered, and those who have power to do good are unwilling to do so. That being said, the question is: So what do I do about what I believe?
I find some guidance for myself in the writing of the Apostle Paul to Timothy in 2 Tim. 3: 1--Paul was writing about dangerous times in the last days. He did not specify that it would only be difficult and stressful for the world, but for Christians as well and he tried to prepare Timothy for this. Note his language.
"You may be quite sure that in the last days there are going to be some difficult times.. . . (vs. 5) They will keep up the outward appearance of religion but will have rejected the inner power of it. Have nothing to do with people like that. (vs. 10) You know, though, what I have taught, how I have lived, what I have aimed at; you know my faith, my paitience and my love; my constancy and the persecutions and harships that came to me in places like Antioch, Iconium and Lystra - all the persecutions I have endured; and the Lord has rescued my from every one of them. You are well aware, then that anybody who tries to live in devotion to Christ is certain to be attacked; while these wicked imposters will go from bad to worse, deceiving others and deceived themselves."
I think, BB that it is interesting to note that Paul says that imposters not only deceive others but are themselves deceived. Paul says to follow not those who have a facade of religion but to look to the example of those who have been faithful. He then goes on in vs. 14 to say. "You must keep to what you have been taught and know to be true; remember who your teachers were, and how, ever since you were a child, you have known the holy scriptures - from these you can learn the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is inspired b y God and can profitably be used for teaching, for refuting error, for guiding people's lives and teaching them to be holy. This is how the man who is dedicated to God beomes fully equipped and ready for any good work."
So for those of us who accept the Bible as God's word we must realize that our destiny is not dependent upon what someone else says or does. Those who are hypocrites etc are judged by the Great Judge of all. But this does not excuse us INDIVIDUALLY from making a thorough study of the Bible and working to live by those standards. Going to the KH can often give us encouragment to research the Bible. The Theocratic School with the study materials can be a real source of inspiration. However, I have come to realize that those who sit around me may or may not fit into the Christian pattern. But that is not my problem. I can only control my course.
This has been the case since the inception of Christianity. Check out Jude vs 3 where Jude says, "My friends, I was full engaged in writing to you about our salvation - which is yours no less than ours- when it became urgently necessary to write at once and appeal to you to join the struggle in defence of the faith, the faith which God entrusted to his people once and for all. It is in danger from certain persons who have wormed their way in, the very men whom scripture long ago marked down for the doom they incurred. They are the enemies of religion; they pervert the free favour of our God into licentiousness, disowning Jesus Christ, our only Master and Lord."
He goes on to tell of people who were on the right path and lost their balance. A person may claim to follow the Christ, ( may have "wormed" their way into the congregation) but their lives and conduct tell the story. God will give us strength to overcome all our difficulties if we throw our burdens on Him and keep our eyes focused - not on people - but on our goals.
I appreciated your attitude and these are just a few of my thoughts.
RVW