BoozeRunner,
My sympathies go out to you for the loss of your wife. I know how cold hearted the people in the Borg can be. When my mother died, only ONE JW showed up for the visitation, a brother who had lost his own mother to cancer less than a year before. Three others came to the funeral, a man and wife couple who had lived at Bethel, and a single-mother friend of mine. All the other professed "friends" didn't even call or come over. And I was a sister in good standing. It was very bewildering, and a real eye opener, for sure!
LadyBug, I understand completely. I usually shove the questions down somewhere deep, so I don't have to bring them out to face the cold dark of unanswerable unknowns. But they're always there, niggling in the background, huh? I found that time helped me to deal with it all.
Prisca,
My sympathies go out to you, also. Cancer is a horrible disease. My mother, grandfather, uncle, best-friends mother, and several other people I have known have died from it. My brother-in-law, only 23 years old, committed suicide back in 1989. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through in my life. Five months later, my other BIL died in an 18 wheeler crash. All in all, in the past 20 years, I lost three uncles, mother, grandmother, grandfather, 2 BIL's, 3 friends. And then my beliefs came crashing to the ground and I had to start all over again, figuring out what I think is really truth.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, wherever we go from here, I am glad I didn't know at the time they died, that I may not ever see them again. Because I honestly think that some of those deaths would have been more than I could bear, had I known that my beliefs were built on a total lie.
RCat