Posts by earthfire

50

Profoundly Shock, Sadening and Traumatic Account of Mary Aguilar

by Scott77 in

after reading this internet link below about the profoundly shocking, sadening and traumatic account of mary aguilar, an ex-jw woman's systematic treatment and abuse, what do you think regarding the action her jw abusive husband, the congregational elders, and finally, the wts attitude when she finally reported the accident to them?

is there any related experienes that you might have come across?.

http://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/blogs/view/306.

earthfire

52

Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses is NOT the same as the doctrines leaving you

by Terry in

if you grow up speaking english and you move to mexico you don't automatically speak spanish, know customs, understand currency, possess skills.

for self-support or have any special insight into latino mindset.. .

why would you expect leaving jehovah's witnesses would leave you any less ill-equipped to navigate the real world?.

earthfire

What a great thread. It's really interesting at the sameness and also the differences we've all felt. Like Band On The Run, it still effects me physically. Just the thought of stepping into a KH or seeing my family who are very deeply into the religion makes me nauseous.

My leaving is a very long story but I'll try to just hit some highlights here. I was born into it. My grandparents on my dad's side were JW's and they scared my mom and dad into getting married basically. My mom was 14 dad was 17 and both were very impressionable of course. They got married in 1971 and part of that reason was because 1975 was just around the corner. I came along in 1973 and was the first of 3 kids, my brothers are still witnesses and one of them is currently an elder and missionary in Ecuador. '75 came and went but my family stayed JW's and I grew up very spiritually minded. But even though I devoured all the literature and did my best to be a good JW there were always doubts which I felt guilty for. My dad was a very abusive (physically and emotionally) alcoholic. He would regularly beat my mom up and I'd have to call brother so and so in the middle of the night. They would come over and calm him down, etc. After years of that my mom decided to have an affair with a guy from work. Then my dad did the same with her best friend at the KH who was married to my dad's best friend who wanted to have get back at them both by sleeping with my mom. Thank god she said no! Anyway, I remember being at the KH holding hands with my best friend who was there daughter (our families were very close, ahem) but we sat there while my mom was disfellowshipped, her mom was disfellowshipped and my dad was only reproved. All 3, one blow same night. It was totally F****d up. I was 12 then and I remember being angry that my dad basically got a slap on the wrist for doing so much worse than my mom had done. But the brothers always thought he was some humble and meek. My mom was beautiful and when she walked into the KH I'd watch all the brothers staring at her and the sisters glaring at her. I hated them for thinking what I knew they were thinking but then treating her horribly and feeling sorry for my dad. I watched this growing up and couldn't understand where Jehovah was in all of this.

During this a brother killed his wife. They had both been friends with my parents. She was so sweet and he wanted to be with a youger woman at the hall. So for some reason he beat her with a baseball bat one night while she slept. It was absolutely horrible. Plus they had two awesome little kids who are now in their twenties. But aside from the utter devistation of it all, he was reinstated within a couple of years. Brothers had been visiting him in prison and they decided he was repentant and so could now preach to others in prison.

Then there was an older couple who were beloved by everyone. I really thought of Leon (he was an elder) as a grandpa and liked him a lot. One day it was found out that he had been seeing a pioneer sister from another hall and she was pregnant. So he left his wife of over 30 years and married this other sister. They were both DF'd but later reinstated. His previous wife had been so hurt that she fell away. So my thinking as a kid was like this, " So you mean to tell me that this guy can have an affair, get her preganant leave his wife and be re-instated within a year or two and they'll get to live in paradise as a new family. But Carol gets totally hurt and falls away and her faith isn't strong enough for her to be able to live in paradise?"

Watching these things happen in our congregation (Kenosha County, Wisconsin) it really impressed upon me at how ridiculous it all was. Another elder had been having an affair with a teenager while he was counseling others in the congregation. It was just filled with BS and our congregations were known for not being good association. As I got older it never changed. I tried going to other halls but they weren't much better. If people weren't sleeping with one another they were judging you for assuming you were going to do something wrong. The only reason I stayed in so long is because I didn't want to lose a relationship with my younger brothers. My dad got custody (thanks to all the JW's from my dad's new congregation who testified in court as to how bad my mom was even though they had never even met her!) Finally when I was 22 I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I was done. I left behind a lot of family members who were JW's, many have since left and we've reconnected but my brothers, my half sister, step sister, grandparents and of course my dad and his wife are still witnesses.

I had A LOT of anger when I left. So many questions. I still have a certain amount of anger 16 years later but it's not like it was. Time is one thing but we all have a path that will work for us. I was given the book "Conversations with God" to read. I made myself read it even though all I could think was that Satan was the one behind it. But something happened when I read it. My mind started to open, even just a little crack in all the dogma that I had grown up in was enough. I started reading other books too and I started to feel better. Books by Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Debbie Ford, etc. Many books later I have a completely different belief system. It is completely based on love. I don't have all the answers but I do feel that when you can bring love into your everyday life that it works better. I do not believe the bible is all divinely inspired. I think there are parts that are but now knowing the history of where the bible came from it doesn't have much weight with me anymore. I think that we all "know" in our hearts what is real and what isn't. The struggle is to get out of your head and let your heart in too. This was my path and has helped me to heal. But I'm not done healing. Knowing that most people in the world are awesome and good helps. I have not been judged since I left the organization and that's a burden off there. You don't have to look over your shoulder or question every little thing you do and that makes you free.

23

Punk got shunned HURRAH!!!!

by punkofnice in

so i was da'd last september as a 'mentally diseased apostate'(tm) that the 'jehu elders'(tm) should 'slaughter'(tm) if the law of the land allows it.. i now get shunned in the street and i think it's so childish of the dubs to do so.

one family that shunned me was a family i bent over backwards to help them when they had to move house.

their loss...i won't help them again!.

earthfire

Congrats! Sweet freedom

8

How to Suck at Your Religion

by puffthedragon in

jw
friends

hope this is not a repost.

funny comic, worth the click.. .

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion.

earthfire

I totally love that

31

Good-bye, friends

by BizzyBee in

jw
friends

we bees leave for our trip this afternoon - a river cruise from budapest to the black sea.

everyone on the ship is a tandem cycling couple.

we will visit hungary, serbia, moldav, romania, austria, germany and croatia.. it will be a nice break from politics and the world news since we don't watch much tv on these trips.. hold down the fort - see you in a couple of weeks!.

earthfire

Have a wonderful, safe time!!

18

indications that the society having financial concerns

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

they've cut back their number of branch locations from 217 to 198 in the past year.

they've installed credit card machines at assemblies and conventions.

they've cut back on the number of pages in the watchtower and awake magazines (from 32 to 16).

earthfire

Do you have any links for that info rix? I'd love to read about that

33

Lets pretend the JW's are right for a moment...

by puffthedragon in

don't worry, i'm not loosing my mind.

but whether you are christian, agnostic, atheist, thor-worshipper or otherwise, just pretend with me for a moment.. armageddon comes and wipes out wicked people.

there is a resurection and some kind of test and the ones that pass make it into the glorious new world.. how long would it last before a revolt?

earthfire

Don't even get me started on Lot!

84

Disfellowshipped for Being Raped!

by UnDisfellowshipped in

march 8th 1974 issue, pages 13-16:.

"scream!

scream!

earthfire

There was a sister in our hall when I was a kid that had been raped and became pregnant. She was disfellowshipped. It was horrible. She came to the hall a few times after but people were so mean. Just when someone really needs help and a shoulder to cry on is when they take it all away.

84

Candace Conti v. Watchtower Society - Closing Argument by WTBTS Attorney

by jwleaks in

jane doe v. watchtower bible and tract society of new york, inc.. .

jury trial - june 14, 2012 - day 10. .

mr. schnack: ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the judge has instructed you that it is your choice to award or not to award punitive damages.

earthfire

This is so disgusting. I am bloody sick of organizations, (both religious and non) covering up sex abuse. It truly makes me sick to my stomach. When I was about 9 there was an older brother in our hall who took a liking to me. My dad really respected him and I liked him too. It hit me when I was older what he was doing but no adults noticed at the time. So we had a game where he would give me a really hard word to spell and then I could have all the change in his pocket. He always had a lot of change But as a kid I was happy about that! So I'd spell and get money. Then it started to be that I had to reach into his pocket to get the money. I did that a couple of times but it didn't feel right. Then he started to kiss me on the cheek whenever I saw him. My dad would see it and never thought a thing about it. (But heaven forbid a boy in the congregation give me a piggy back ride!) Finally one day he came up to me after the meeting when I was with some friends towards the back of the hall. He had no qualms about kissing me half on the lips and half on the cheek in front of everyone! I mad a huge deal about it and yelled at him and told him to never touch me again! He was horrified and he never did talk to me again. My dad saw the whole thing and did nothing. Looking back on it, it looks like there was a subtle grooming going on but I don't know that for sure. I do know that he didn't act this way to any of the other girls in the hall.

I'm willing to bet that this kind of inappropriate conduct happens far and wide in the organization with no thought or action taken. Part of that is the automatic respect that is given to anyone who is a JW and especially when they are an older brother. I mean, they are only a step under the angels....

35

Was your fade easy or difficult? Let me know ur fade story

by dazed but not confused in

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when i started to fade it was pretty easy for me.

earthfire

Omg! That is a much bigger change than I thought. With that thinking they could keep this going for a while. Damn it.