Posts by perfect1

ever think about that, if so, then add on.... 1. know in life that people will always tell you their side of the story, and when they do they will always be the hero and everyone else the villian.

perfect1

When other people try discourage you and tell you its impossible, ignore them and do what you want.

92

breakup guilt

by fresh prince of ohio in

i recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years.. she is 40 years old, with health problems, financial problems, little family/friend support, and facing an uncertain future.

i gave her some money.. the guilt i am experiencing right now is absolutely anguishing.

she had very, very high hopes about our relationship and loved me very deeply.

perfect1

Here I will highlight all the warning signs, my friend.

the writing is on the wall, as they say.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years.

She is 40 years old, with health problems, financial problems, little family/friend support, and facing an uncertain future. I gave her some money.

The guilt I am experiencing right now is absolutely anguishing. She had very, very high hopes about our relationship and loved me very deeply. She is an intensely emotional person, I would give her an armchair diagnosis of having major depressive/borderline tendencies. I just never loved her the same way she did me, although I did come to care for her.

I felt like I was her protector, in some ways, her savior in this cruel and unforgiving world. So there was this whole existential aspect of the relationship.

I fear that she may lose all hope and decide to end her life.

She had me on this PEDESTAL. It was like, she was so amazed that I was ever in a relationship with HER . So, it never felt like a meeting of equals. And now that I've left her, her interpretation is that she's been rejected cold by the most wonderful amazing man in the world (i'm really not all that).

She is reasonably intelligent in most respects, but has a certain naivete about things that doesn't serve a single woman living in a big city very well.

She has deep-rooted self esteem issues, had a traumatic childhood, and has a horrifying existential fear that 'nobody will ever love her'. Thing is, I DID love her. And she has people in her life who DO love her. But I loved her more in a friendly, caring way that comes with knowing a person over a long period of time.

The relationship became quite toxic towards the end, with lots of fights. I found her exhausting to be in a relationship with - she was always having some kind of crisis. The resentment and tension built up to the point where cruel words were spoken by me to her on more than one occasion.

One of the biggest challenges i had all along was that I didn't find her sexually attractive. At least not very much. We did have sex, but usually only once every couple of weeks. Always initiated by me. She wasn't capable of spontaneous displays of affection towards me - just too fearful and nervous. I think the lack of sexual attraction was because she just never carried herself with any confidence or verve. On our first date, I walked into the restaurant and saw her (we met online) and she looked at me with this fearful expression, which was an expression that i became all too familiar with and exhausted by over the years. I learned later that she was certain that I was going to take one look at her and turn around and walk right out, if that tells you anything about her confidence.

Anyway, I don't know what more to say. I feel like I may end up going back to her, even though I know how unhappy I was in the relationship, especially over the past year. But the guilt and anguish I'm experiencing over leaving her is just too much.

80

hello. pls help. getting married soon. afraid i won't be happy because wtbts said so.

by seasickbumblebee in

alshello.

i'm a practicing jw.

finally decided to create an account to see whether you could all help me.. so i am engaged to this wonderful wonderful man and in three months time we'll be married.

perfect1

Mouthy you rock.

18

Are JW:s more sick than others

by Bugbear in

on request from friends thread i would like to tell you my story.

the subject from friends thread was simply : are jw,s more negative or more disordered than normal people?.

i was 10 15 years ago an elder.

perfect1

WTW

92

breakup guilt

by fresh prince of ohio in

i recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years.. she is 40 years old, with health problems, financial problems, little family/friend support, and facing an uncertain future.

i gave her some money.. the guilt i am experiencing right now is absolutely anguishing.

she had very, very high hopes about our relationship and loved me very deeply.

perfect1

Well, maybe its not the best article- but you cant depend on me to find all you reading material for you!

My point is: do some research. Times like this, give your thinking mind a little workout so it can interpret what your feeling mind is feeling. You might read about someone JUST LIKE YOU.

from your posts it sounds like you are DESPERATE to feel better, or at least stop feeling the way you feel which includes obsessive thoughts.

NO ONE on this board has responded to you with advice like- HANG IN THERE- GET BACK TOGETHER.

for me, I can relate to having once felt how you feel now.

Going back means dragging it out AGAIN. Fine. It may be like the flu- you just have to let pass through you like a virus.

But if you do that you are wasting valuable time and putting yourself at risk.

Be courageous and make a break. Pain lessens in time. Meanwhile exercise is an excellent outlet. I once cried my broken heart out shamelessly on an eliptical machine.

100

Shiver Me Timbers I Gots a Bible Study Matey!

by RayPublisher in

the new wt 2013 june tells kids that they might get to study with a pirate someday!

perhaps johnny depp will be resurrected for just that purpose?.

.

perfect1

how did i Miss this gem of a thread the first time around! Thanks for bumping!

stillin you made me LOL.