Posts by krejames

The album that towers in my life - simply because it unexpectedly came at the right time and its lyrics set off a chain of thoughts that ended up with me eventually breaking free mentally from the chains of the JWs is Darren Hayes' very electronic 2004 album The Tension and the Spark. One of those albums I bought then never actually listened to until a couple of weeks later. Couldn't believe it from the opening lines of Darkness ("been spending so much time underground, I guess my eyes adjusted to the lack of light...I was covered in darkness") to the spiritual/fleshly war described in I Like the Way ("the decadence of giving in to desire creates such entropy within - looking for love in spiritual faces, blind to the art of fabrication..."). This was an album speaking to ME!

To this day I'm still not sure why I bought the album in the first place - I always found him and his group Savage Garden as saccharine and whiney. It's a shame he went back to the whining and the saccharine with subsequent albums but for a moment Darren Hayes had something genuine to say and he said it very well.

18

I ran into an active JW...surprised

by nolongerconfused in

jw
friends

so as you all know, i have fully faded...i'm completely out and have not told the elders or da myself...just faded 100%.... so i run into an active jw, different congregation, and as i walk past him i say, "hey so and so, how are you doing?

"....he looks down, doesnt dare look at me in the eyeball and keeps walking...then a split second later he turns around and says, hey man, aren't yuo disfellowshipped?....

i was like wtf?...lol, i said "not that i know of"...i asked him who told him such thing?...he wouldnt tell me who, but he had "heard"...so i just left it at that and told him if he wants to know then to contact my ex-elders.... my thing is, could the elders have df'ed me without me knowing it?...i have not been accused of their so called "apostasy", nor have i received a letter requesting info or to set up a meeting, nor a call...the coordinating elder (formally president/presiding overseer) still texts me all the time saying hi etc...no religious texts or anything like that).

krejames

Hey Parakeet - if your Mum didn't hear it yet then she probably won't- it was probably about a year ago. I got the impression it was an aside rather than being in the outline - you know how some of these COs like to sprinkle their talks with lots of personal opinion...but wouldn't surprise me if this is the way things go in future.

76

Are homosexuals born that way? The March 15 Watchtower seems to say so.

by matt2414 in

15 one brother who was raised in a christian household wrote that for as long as he could remember, he struggled with homosexual tendencies.

he said: i always felt awkward.

it seemed that i didnt fit in anywhere.

krejames

Don't get me started on that Your Youth book chapter. If there's one thing I don't think I could ever forgive the WTS for it's that book. I think I was about 8 when I went through that chapter with my Mum. that chapter explicitly stated that homosexuals aren't born that way (consider that a WT two-fingered salute, Gaga) but that they learn the behaviour. I spent the next 20 years feeling nothing but guilt and shame over how evil I was and waiting to grow out what must surely be a phase...

18

I ran into an active JW...surprised

by nolongerconfused in

jw
friends

so as you all know, i have fully faded...i'm completely out and have not told the elders or da myself...just faded 100%.... so i run into an active jw, different congregation, and as i walk past him i say, "hey so and so, how are you doing?

"....he looks down, doesnt dare look at me in the eyeball and keeps walking...then a split second later he turns around and says, hey man, aren't yuo disfellowshipped?....

i was like wtf?...lol, i said "not that i know of"...i asked him who told him such thing?...he wouldnt tell me who, but he had "heard"...so i just left it at that and told him if he wants to know then to contact my ex-elders.... my thing is, could the elders have df'ed me without me knowing it?...i have not been accused of their so called "apostasy", nor have i received a letter requesting info or to set up a meeting, nor a call...the coordinating elder (formally president/presiding overseer) still texts me all the time saying hi etc...no religious texts or anything like that).

krejames

In one of the talks our last CO gave, he commented that we shouldn't have any contact with people who managed to "get around the system" without getting disfellowshipped, but are doing things that would be considered gross sins (EDIT i.e. faders leading "immoral" lives).

Also I couldn't agree more on the rumour mill...One of my closest friends is a "faded" JW who moved here from another area. It amazes me how the majority of his former JW friends never keep in touch with him (we're talking about years) except when a rumour started going around that he was disfellowshipped - suddenly his phone was ringing off the hook with so called friends trying to find out if it was true (but wanting the juicy goss).

40

Reaching Loved Ones Stuck in a Cult: Reciprocal Letter Writing

by 00DAD in

i've been toying with an idea that i think just might have some legs.

so here i am trotting it out for all of you to consider and comment upon.

for many of us, we are extremely frustrated by the fact that we have no way to communicate with our loved ones still stuck in the organization.

krejames

I would be happy to send a letter on behalf of someone (I'm in the UK). I agree with Phizzy that it's best not to add anything about religious stuff - I do think it would work best if it was just to reconnect and confirm love. as already stated anything that could be interpreted as apostate talk would just play into the WT hands as they would see it as evidence of how cunning these evil "apostates" are.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

krejames

Magotan i'm so sorry to read what you're going through. You'll get through this.

Your family must be very confused right now too. They have shot themselves in the foot. They have probably realised by making you move out they will be expected to shun you if you are DF'd. Whereas if you had stayed under their roof they would have an excuse to continue contact. I feel sorry for your mum (my mum also feels I have shut her out). It will be hard for you and your family but it sounds like your mum really wants to keep in touch with you. I hope she does.

23

Curious About My Disfellowshipping.

by vajeni82 in

i recently read an interesting thread (is there a 'third' way to leave?

) that talked about fading instead of being df'd or da'd.

i myself had planned to fade, but was df'd instead.

krejames

It's definitely worth asking for your records. Not sure if you're in the UK but if you are, you need to make a Subject Access Request under the Data Protection Act 1998. They then have to provide you with a copy of all of your personal information that they held at the time they received your request. If they destroy any after receiving your request it is a criminal offence. They can charge you £10.

(Don't get mixed up with the Freedom of Information Act - that Act only applies to public authorities and doesn't include the right of access to your own personal information - it's just a means to request access to any records held by a public authority or government department relating to its activities).

29

Does the Bible actually condemn Homosexuality for Chrisitans anywhere ?

by Phizzy in

i ask the question because i read a very persuasive article on-line that showed that the apostle paul was not referring to mere homosexual practice in his words in his letters, but to temple prostitution etc, so he was condemning idolatry, not being homosexual per se.. the basic usage of the word that some translations render as "homosexual" and the n.w.t, falling in to the etymology trap, renders "men who lie with men" means temple prostitute.

the account of sodom and gomorrah has been shown on here to be concerned with lack of hospitality being the sin, mistreatment of strangers etc, still a no- no in desert communities.

the whole story may well be a folk story or myth anyway, but it is interesting to see that the sexual acts themselves are not the main thrust (sorry) of yahweh's anger.. the law (leviticus?

krejames

Hi everyone

Lars, I kind of get where you're coming from. But I think heterosexuals (non JWs) are as promiscuous as homosexuals these days. Well in the UK they are anyway. Where I live they'll meet in a bar or club every thurs/friday/sat night and try and get off with someone. Admittedly they don't have the saunas, they don't play with each other in a public lavatory - but they'll go to a club or Kavos or Malia to achieve the same thing.

I have a theory that the reason us gays go through a stage of being obsessed with sex might be because we have grown up trying to suppress our true selves. We become very efficient at leading double lives - because we have to - and we secretly seek out the people that are like us to connect with in any way we can - usually sexually - and then we go back to our "other" life. But generally, in places where it is acceptable to be gay, the dream is still to find someone to "settle down with" and be faithful to.

In homophobic societies there will obviously still be the big pressure to get married to someone of the opposite sex and probably a life of seeking satisfaction in the sexual underworld continues. That's where I think the problem is.

When I went through my "gay crisis", and came out of the truth mentally, I went crazy and, for a good few months, was obsessed with connecting with other gay people and I engaged in very risky behaviour. That was well over two years ago. But since then I have been with my current partner and we have been 100% faithful to each other. To be honest we're what many people would consider a mundane couple lol.

But back on topic...for me I think the Bible certainly doesn't encourage homosexual relationships. There are no gay role models. Any hint of a mention seems to be negative. I would like to think that if a loving God inspired the Bible, He wouldn't have allowed the ambiguity (or perhaps correctly interpreted condemnation) to be used to put so many people through so much emotional pain.

57

Did YOU Go A Bit Wild or Crazy When You Left The "Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

just curious..

krejames

I always had a wild streak and went a bit crazy before I left - no drugs, just lots of clubbing and erm "loose" conduct. Once I was mentally out I settled down and feel quite calm these days....in fact I'm quite happy to think that deep down I'm quite a boring person lol