Posts by Phoebe

15

Australia Take 5: “I was sexually abused by a JW elder as a child”

by darkspilver in

take 5 is a popular weekly 'women's magazine' based in australia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/take_5_(magazine).

the following 1,100 word story is from their website - don't know if it's in the printed version.....take 5, may 5, 2017.

Phoebe

As a person who was sexually assaulted as a child I can say from experience the slightest thing can trigger a memory. My psychologist said it can be a noise, a smell...anything. Something that suddenly reminds you of that horrific experience. I can still 'see' the blanket I was made to lie under. I can still 'feel' it. I hate paquet flooring because that's where I was forced to lay down.

I feel for anyone that has endured this. 60 years later and I'm still suffering the effects while my abuser is still a well respected elder. I did write to him this year and ask for an apology with the full backing of the elders in my congregation who were 'always going to be there for me' Well, he got the letter and didn't reply and suddenly my elders backed off from me. I think he must have pulled strings or something. I asked why and the reply was 'it's your word against his. Nothing we can do. Life is tough sometimes.' If they couldn't do anything then a little bit of spiritual care might have helped but nope, nothing. They distanced themselves from me.

I'm done with it now. No more meetings for me. Not going back. My heart goes out to those suffering.

1

Maintenance Co-ordinator

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone has mentioned this, i've scrolled through to see but don't see anything.. last saturday our congregation had a special meeting and everyone was supposed to attend.

i didn't go of course because i'm trying to stay away but my jw neighbor filled me in.

a brother and his wife came and he has a title, i think it's maintenance coordinator or something.

Phoebe

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, I've scrolled through to see but don't see anything.

Last Saturday our congregation had a special meeting and everyone was supposed to attend. I didn't go of course because I'm trying to stay away but my JW neighbor filled me in. A brother and his wife came and he has a title, I think it's maintenance coordinator or something. Anyway, he's been appointed by the society to go around a bunch of congregations with his wife and talk about maintenance of kingdom halls and how the hall has to be kept looking nice. Then everyone was divided into groups and his wife took one group and they walked around the hall looking for any jobs that needed doing.

After, he asked everyone what they thought of it and someone commented that is was nice that sisters were now allowed to be involved in the maintenance instead of having to ask a brother.

I'm so glad I wasn't there. I would have been boiling at that comment. So now a sister can change a light bulb instead of having to ask a brother first! Jeez. Has anyone else had this special meeting?

24

Do you find it therapeutic coming to this site?

by UnshackleTheChains in

i read on another thread how this site has helped another user and that for them it has been a form of therapy.. for me yes, jwn has most certainly been a form of therapy.. i recall the days i first came to jwn (in 2004) and couldn't believe i had found people who were of the same opinion as myself in regards to the society.

it was this site that led me to reading ray franz's book 'crisis of conscience' which i read twice within a week.

it also led me to jw facts that goes into every nook and cranny regarding the society's teachings, policies and history.. note: i also visit many other sites and watch you tube videos a lot, but gravitate here most of the time.. coming here to express my inner most thoughts and feelings has helped me no end and allows me to overcome my frustrations.

Phoebe

pale emperor

Re: Captives of A Concept

I've just ordered it!

24

Do you find it therapeutic coming to this site?

by UnshackleTheChains in

i read on another thread how this site has helped another user and that for them it has been a form of therapy.. for me yes, jwn has most certainly been a form of therapy.. i recall the days i first came to jwn (in 2004) and couldn't believe i had found people who were of the same opinion as myself in regards to the society.

it was this site that led me to reading ray franz's book 'crisis of conscience' which i read twice within a week.

it also led me to jw facts that goes into every nook and cranny regarding the society's teachings, policies and history.. note: i also visit many other sites and watch you tube videos a lot, but gravitate here most of the time.. coming here to express my inner most thoughts and feelings has helped me no end and allows me to overcome my frustrations.

Phoebe

This site has helped me so much because as you say, you 'get' it. Even my psychologist doesn't really understand. You've got to have been there to know. This site has helped me so much. People have been so kind and supportive.

3

Effectiveness of exposing child abuse

by Tallon in

thought i would try and gauge your views on the effectiveness of current child abuse exposure within the jw's.. i am aware of the arc investigation into historical and current child abuse, the uk charity commission investigation, and the excellent work of trey bundy.. however, how effective has the above been in exposing child abuse?.

would not an investigation in the manner of spotlight, be more effective in exposing it to a wider audience?

to prove that the abuse is 'systemic'?.

Phoebe

Apart from the fact my JW neighbour has just heard the BBC radio 4 programme on JWs and abuse, no other JW I've spoken to has a clue. In fact they say, the organization is 'very hot' on dealing with child abuse. So, no, from my point of view it isn't getting heard and here no one has heard about the ARC or anything.

6

BBC Radio 4 feature on J.W child Abuse

by Isambard Crater in

jw
friends

on the radio this morning.

here is the link:.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08njt79.

Phoebe

My neighbour, who is a JW, came to the door and told me he'd just listened to the radio 4 programme and he was shocked. He didn't realise it was so bad -- and he used to be an elder -- he said no wonder they are always short of money. Some Jws are starting to think...

25

Do you feel that you are really YOU?

by UnshackleTheChains in

i am interested in finding out how you view yourself.

are really you when it comes to every day interactions....ie when at work, with family or friends, or if attending meetings?.

if still attending, do you feel you are not the real you at meetings?

Phoebe

When I attend meetings (and right now I'm staying away) I am not me. I never have been me at the hall. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn't be like other brothers and sisters. Talking the truth lingo never came naturally to me so I became a facade and I hated myself for it. I could never, ever be myself at the meetings and I thought I felt that way because I wasn't what Jehovah wanted and it was only a matter of time before he got rid of me.I was always a fish out of water at the meetings (I've been baptised 50 years)

But now through my counseling session I'm learning to be me. Not at the hall. But just in life. I'm enjoying learning to be me without feeling guilty all the time. I've found out that 'me' isn't so bad after all. People (in the world) actually do like me.

51

Today's W.T on GB not being inspired is having ZERO impact on most J.W's

by Isambard Crater in

jw
friends

the congregation i attend had it's watchtower study on thursday night because of l.d.c work this week-end, and another congregation i have some not very spiritual friends in had their watchtower study on wednesday.

from what i have delicately prised out of people, the congregations loved the watchtower study this week, saying it was so encouraging and all the usual stuff, with no-one seeming to realise the g.b.

said they're not inspired, so the spirit int he past has moved them to teach wrong things, and all the other ideas excellently summed up on reddit.. today's watchtower will wash over the heads of most j.w's like it never even happened, the all remaining as loyal as ever, and it makes me so, so sad..

Phoebe

tor15

When I asked why are they building Warwick etc they said 'they are building it for after Armageddon'

37

Was it just me or was something different about the memorial last night?

by kpop in

jw
friends

this was the first memorial that i declined to do any work for the memorial.

i was assigned as a parking attendant after getting downgraded from doing the sound and had no intention of doing either task but i had to attend for my family and continuation of my fade.

i sat there last night listening to the talk and couldn't help but shake my head as my brain attempted to process the bs.

Phoebe

They never mentioned any figures at all at mine, but we did get a story about how in America, George Wilson in 1829, a convicted bank robber on death row, refused his formal pardon by President Andrew Jackson and how they couldn't figure out what to do and took it to the supreme court.

I thought that was quite interesting.

Apart from that pretty much everyone scuttled home after as fast as they could. Mostly because it was so late and kids were tired. That's my 64th Memorial. I'm pretty much done with it all now but I thought I'd go to the memorial.

10

Getting older, losing loved ones

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

just reading a posting about relive a day for one year of your live... .

getting older, i am so sad thinking about years ago and missing my family members.

am i the only one believing they would never die?.

Phoebe

I feel your sadness Gorbatchov, my parents firmly believed they would live to see the new system but my mother died in 1988 and my dad in 1994. I'm getting up to their age now and even my psychologist talks about me being in my final years!

I'm just sad that every one of my years has been dominated by 'the truth' I don't miss my mum, she brought us into this, my dad was opposed but came into eventually and then left when he was quite old. I wish he was here to talk to. When he kept saying the truth was wrong, I wouldn't listen. I wish I could have him back. Enjoy every moment of your family, here's wishing your parents will go on for a long, long time yet. X