Posts by Phoebe

20

How many here are married to (still In) Jay Dubs? Any tips or advice for keeping the marriage going?

by NikL in

jw
friends

if you are, you know it is not easy to remain intimate with someone who thinks you are basically "walking dead".. any thoughts or tips to share with the board?.

what has been the greatest issue for your marriage?.

need to vent?.

Phoebe

When you are a witness you are constantly told this isn't the real life. Just get through this system as best you can because your real life is ahead.

Before my very recent fade, my husband had left the organization 18 years ago, I always felt as if there was no point to my marriage as we didn't have the same spiritual goals and I totally envisaged a life in the new system without him. Sometimes when he got on my nerves I was actually quite looking forward to it!

It is really difficult maintaining a close relationship when someone is in and you're not or visa versa.

24

UK Terrorists attacks

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone has talked about this yet, forgive me if they have.

but i am just so, so sad that yet more innocent lives have been so brutally taken.

we've now had three attacks in three months and there has been countless terror attacks stopped by the police.. my jw acquaintances see these attacks as proof the end is near.

Phoebe

I don't know if anyone has talked about this yet, forgive me if they have. But I am just so, so sad that yet more innocent lives have been so brutally taken. We've now had three attacks in three months and there has been countless terror attacks stopped by the police.

My JW acquaintances see these attacks as proof the end is near. In fact, they almost seem to relish them - as long as no witnesses are involved, of course. When we've had attacks in the past and I've said how sad I am I've often heard 'well, no brothers were involved,' As if that made it all right.

I now am even more affected by these tragic events. They say ignorance is bliss and I guess it is. Cocooned in my belief that it didn't matter what happened in the world God was soon going to fix it and all would be put right, I am left feeling helpless and without hope.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just me who has so recently left the 'truth'...will it get better?

36

How ballroom dancing helped our exit

by Finally Left in

just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments.

when i finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know i wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

february was my last month of service after 43 active years.

Phoebe

Finally Left

What a fabulous post. I needed to read this today. Thank you so much.

xx

19

Feeling Alone. Need Emotional Support.

by Doubtfully Yours in

please chime in if you're one of my kindred spirit that happens to literally be trapped in due to strong family/friends ties, or plain fear of being abandoned in old age.. although leaving the org is my ultimate wish and desire, fear of the unknown, fear of how it would change my family dinamics, plain fear alone paralyzes me.

how do you cope in this difficult situation?

dy.

Phoebe

Doubtfully Yours

It's something I'm dealing with too. I never really had any friends at the hall but just the act of going there and being in a room full of people meant I was 'going out' and now I suddenly realise I have no where to go, nowhere to be. My psychologist has told me she wants me to make 'new friends' but I'm 64, it's a daunting task.

But I won't go back. Sometimes you just have to step out into the unknown and really, after all we now know do we really want to be associated with such an organization?

Message me anytime if you want to chat. I have made a friends on this forum already and that has really, really helped me.

24

If you had the means to kill a terrorist before he detonated would you ?

by Chook in

i mean blow their fucking brains out..

Phoebe

Absolutely I would.

I walked into a shop this morning and saw that darling little eight year's face on the front of every newspaper. A fun night out to see her favourite pop idol and she and 22 others are blown to bits by an evil monster. Yes, given the chance I wouldn't think twice.

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

Hi everyone,

I just want to say a massive thank you to you all for your lovely words and advice and if I could hug you all, I would.

I have been so scared I was doing the wrong thing leaving the WT after being in it for so long, but you have made me see I am doing the right thing and you have no idea how much that has helped me.

I know it won't be easy but I'll get through it. You are such a lovely group of people. I feel privileged to be part of this.

A huge heartfelt thank you to you all.

xxx

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

Thank you stuckinarut2 and jp1692

I appreciate your kind words. I know you are both right, it's just getting that into my stupid head!!!!

I won't look at emails in the middle of the night and I'm now heading over to jwfacts.com

Thanks.

xxx

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

So it's not enough that I'm dealing with Post traumatic stress/Anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a JW (50 years baptized -- I stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. I get an email from the other side of the world. 'You HAVE to go to the convention. Bro Sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening. Some people are saying this is out last convention before a global attack on witnesses.'

Now as someone who is battling with leaving this 'organization' emails like that - in the middle of the night - freak me out.

I don't sleep and when I do, I have terrible nightmares. I've been brought up to have a hope for the future and a belief that my only way of survival is to be an active JW. But my life as a JW was a very unhappy one (with abuse both mental and sexual) and in some ways it's a relief to get out but losing that hope, that faith is painful to me. I can't get the fear and guilt out of my head and frightening emails in the middle of the night don't help.

Can anyone share their personal experience to help me?

22

How do the GB micro-manage people's lives today?

by UnshackleTheChains in

how do the gb micro-manage people's lives today?one example is their micro management in dress and grooming.

eg their view of beards.

elders in most congs will take a brother to a corner and remind him why jws don't grow beards.

Phoebe

Beards are allowed over here, saw loads at the convention in London last year.

Micro management could also be subject to the whims of your local elders.

I remember the 'no white socks' rule.

Also, satellite TV was a no-no as was video players as everyone would be tempted to watch 'video nasties'

Computers were a no-no for awhile because we can't be trusted not to watch bad things.

Video games are still frowned upon.

When I was a teenager it was no short skirts then the 'midi' skirt came in and we thought hurrah, a fashion we can wear but then 'no midi's' it's deemed too fashionable. So having let all our skirts down to comply with the ban on minis we now had to take them up to comply with the ban on midis...you couldn't win.

When my husband came into the truth he was told he could no longer be a DJ (back in the early 80s) and he could no longer go and watch football matches. He was made to give up going to watch is favourite team play.

I'm in the process of breaking free of 60 years of micro management.

37

Which Watchtower publications did you keep?

by Schnufti in

i'm currently cleaning up our bookcase and need to decide what goes into the trash.

i'll keep the watchtower books that are not available online anymore (e.g.

the brown "reasoning" book).

Phoebe

I live in a small house, we've just been under our stairs (storage place) and pulled out decades of bound volumes. I'm all for throwing them away but my husband says keep them. But why? I'm not going to use them again - ever. So bit by bit I'm throwing them away but I'm keeping my pink paradise book. The book that scared me into baptism at 13. All those buildings falling down on people and my dad telling me if Armageddon came tomorrow that would be me!