Phoebe

Joined

• started 33 topics
• posted 442 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Phoebe

• 
  10

  CounselIling for Ex Cult Members

  by Disassociated Lady 2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wanted to ask those of you who were born into the jws and eventually left as an adult, whether any of you have had any counselling?

  i know from experience that being programmed by a cult since birth does not give us the social skills and knowledge to function and interact with people in the outside world as we were taught to avoid it.

  those of you that have had counselling, do you feel that it has helped you?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  @ Disassociated Lady 2

  I am in counseling. I have been for nearly a year. It has helped enormously.

  At first my psychologist didn't quite understand, but as soon as I said the word 'cult' she understood then.

  Talking to a professional and making sense of everything has been the most important step in me leaving the JWs. It's been hard though,I was a born in, too..and it was painful at times. So be patient. I went one step forward and ten back many times. At times I thought it just wasn't working but I stuck at it and in the end it did.

  They don't tell you what to do...as One EyedJoe said, you have to work on things yourself and sometimes you feel discouraged, but keep going.I would say after almost a year, it's only in the last few weeks that I've felt a lot better, a lot calmer.

  For me, going to counseling is one of the best things I've ever done.
• 
  51

  What are your beliefs now, religious/non religious?

  by Jules Saturn in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  what are your convictions now that you are no longer one of jehovah's witnesses?

  are you a born again christian?

  have you joined another denomination of christianity?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  Thank you @pale.emperor

  Jack Kornfield - that is the very person my new friend from this forum recommended.I will definitely get it. Thank you for the link.
• 
  51

  What are your beliefs now, religious/non religious?

  by Jules Saturn in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  what are your convictions now that you are no longer one of jehovah's witnesses?

  are you a born again christian?

  have you joined another denomination of christianity?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  I'm just lost....and confused....

  I still believe in God but as for everything else, I really don't know what is truth and what is not, but then I've had nearly 60 years of indoctrination, so no wonder I'm confused.

  There is only one thing I really want and that is an inner calm. A peaceful heart. Finding out all I believed in probably isn't right has sent me into a spin.

  @pale.emperor

  You are the second exJW that has said they have embraced Buddhist philosophy in their life, I wonder if it would help me find some peace?
• 
  8

  Odd things that come to mind when buying something!

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just thinking about the odd things that arise when out shopping.. i saw a bag the other day, and thought "that would be a perfect 'service' bag as it is just the right size for....oh hang on...".

  and when buying nice shoes, the thought is there somewhere..."these will be comfortable when walking around the streets...".

  gotta laugh hey!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  @stuckinarut2

  This is so true! My husband will still look at a suit or a coat and immediately think, that would be nice for the meetings...and he hasn't been for nearly 20 years, apart from the odd Memorial. It's still in his head!

  As for me, I've just emptied my ministry bag, chucked its contents away and given the bag to the local charity shop. It felt liberating!
• 
  18

  honesty

  by midnight in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  regarding the recent 1975 video at the convention it hit me !.

  when reasoning with people about the inspiration of the bible we used the bible writers candor ie/ there honesty when recording bible accounts about there personal mistakes .. how come the governing body despite its claims to be spirit directed are not honest about there mistakes ?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  So true.

  I don't think I can recall in my 50 years in the organization even one occasion when they have said we are sorry or admitted they were wrong about something. I could be mistaken but I don't remember it happening. They are not humble people, well this lot aren't anyway. I think previous GB members maybe so, like Jack Barr sounded a lovely, kind man but this lot are a pompous!
• 
  10

  Phone call with a disfellowshipped relative

  by Jules Saturn in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so i call my grandfather who has been inactive for several decades and he's at vacation in puerto rico.

  the conversation is normal, we talk about how he's doing down there and how i am doing.

  then he tells me that my cousin who i haven't seen in 5 years, is with him and asks if i would like to speak to him; i said yes.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  That was lovely to read, so happy for you and your cousin must have been thrilled.
• 
  14

  JWs Reaction to BBC Report

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for months i have been telling my friends - very devout jws - about the problem of child abuse in the organization but it wasn't until they saw the bbc report that they finally believed it.

  (i made mention of their reaction in an earlier post.).

  today they have emailed me to say the bbc report has hit them really hard.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  For months I have been telling my friends - very devout JWs - about the problem of child abuse in the organization but it wasn't until they saw the BBC report that they finally believed it. (I made mention of their reaction in an earlier post.)

  Today they have emailed me to say the BBC report has hit them really hard. They don't feel they can go out in the ministry because what if someone mentions it? How will they answer them? Another sister they know feels the same. She has a neighbour who is constantly bringing up the witness child abuse issue and she doesn't know what to say to him.

  I think this is good news...because if my friends are really hit hard by this, and they are very, very strong in 'the truth,' maybe it will help them wake up.

  To think they no longer want to go in the ministry because of it!
• 
  6

  A special message from Irwin Zalkin - (Attorney)

  by Tallon in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  thought you might like to hear that the fight for truth and justice is far from over.. https://www.facebook.com/ttattfilm/videos/1911836498830119/.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  @Tallon

  Thank you for this, I would have never seen it otherwise.
• 
  15

  The words I refuse to use

  by Chook in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  new system, brother, sister , kingdom hall, wordly person, in the truth .

  there is a whole jw language that has to be deprogrammed..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phoebe

  I could never get my head around COBE - Coordinator of body of elders...is that right? I'm still not sure.

  I got told off because I kept forgetting so would call him the 'CBeebies' (BBC programming for kids!)
• 
  2

  IICSA investigations

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having just watched john cedars latest youtube video i am appalled that jws do not make up part of the investigation into institutions that have failed to protect children from sexual abuse.. i have emailed and begged them to reevaluate their decision.. if anyone else wants to do so, this is the email i used, i don't know if it's the right one, it's on their website.. [email protected].

  1. 
  2. 
• 

  Phoebe

  Having just watched John Cedars latest Youtube video I am appalled that JWs do not make up part of the investigation into institutions that have failed to protect children from sexual abuse.

  I have emailed and begged them to reevaluate their decision.

  If anyone else wants to do so, this is the email I used, I don't know if it's the right one, it's on their website.

  [email protected]