Posts by Scully

20

The happiest people on earth... Yeah right

by Bells in

jw
friends

i am looking for some advice - or maybe just some moral support.. i can't find the link to my previous thread... but in a nutshell... husband and i got married a couple months ago after 10 or so years together.

he was never baptised, but grew up 'in'.

i never had any exposure to the craziness til i met him and his family.

Scully

It's probably a good idea to put some distance between your inlaws and both you and your husband. Even though you've had a significant amount of time "together" prior to your wedding, I'm guessing that the JW inlaws had hopes that you would convert to the JWs and that their son would return to The Truth™.

Frankly, the way they treat you like second class citizens, if it ever comes up in conversation with them why you never showed an interest in their religion, I would flat out tell them "Why on earth would I want to associate with a religion that treats people as badly as you've treated [hubby] and me?" Make a list of specific events and their behaviour, keep it handy because you never know when you'll have the opportunity to address this with them. Then establish some boundaries with them and do not let them cross your boundaries. This will become increasingly important if you are going to start a family - you do not want your inlaws to have unrestricted access to children where they will have the opportunity to indoctrinate them with JW beliefs, including such beliefs that you and your husband are "following Satan" or that you are "making Jehovah sad" or that you will all be "destroyed at Armageddon" because you "don't love Jehovah". Your children do not need to be terrorized like that.

Also, I would start making a plan with your husband to sell his part of the business to his brother (talk to a lawyer first to be sure that your BIL isn't going to take advantage of your husband) and find work that doesn't involve his family. If they treat him like crap at work, it's just an extension of how they treat you both in person. Neither of you are required to tolerate that kind of psychological abuse. He deserves to be respected in the workplace just like any other employee or partner in a business relationship. He's not required to seek their approval - if he's close to 30 years of age, as I gather from your post, if he hasn't got his family's respect by now, it ain't ever gonna happen. It's time to cut your losses and move on to friendships and relationships (personal and business) where you are respected for who you are, not for the religion you belong to or not.

7

Do you go to Smoothie King?

by Iamallcool in

jw
friends

what are your favorite drinks?

.

Scully

See, this was the type of thread that was conspicuous by its absence while you were on vacation.

Like I said, it was great while it lasted.

By the way, when is your next vacation??

10

What would be the best decision if we took out all the religion out of the blood issue?

by ILoveTTATT in

i am wondering this:.

what surgeries/procedures/situations have been shown to be life-or-death decisions without blood?.

i only know, currently, of trauma (car accident, gunshot wound, etc).... what would be treatable exclusively with "no blood fractions" and with "no procedures using my blood"?.

Scully

Doctors nowadays don't recommend blood transfusions unless there is a specific need for it.

For example, if you have a very low hemoglobin level (70 mg/L or less) they would recommend it, especially if you are symptomatic. There are alternatives, of course, such as boosting your iron intake with supplements or diet.

Fractions are more of an individual thing. For instance if you are a pregnant female with Rh negative blood, they usually recommend that you have an injection of RhoGam in the third trimester and within 72 hours of delivery, to protect the baby and future pregnancies from exposure to antibodies against Rh positive blood.

Babies who are exposed to these antibodies can have varying degrees of erythroblastosis foetalis, which causes severe jaundice, and used to require exchange transfusions. Now high intensity ultra violet lights are used to treat jaundice, and exchange transfusions are only done on a very rare occasion.

People who require clotting factors (hemophilia, von Willebrand's disease) are allowed to take these fractions. Incidentally Factor XIII was one of the first blood fractions permitted by the WTS in the treatment of hemophilia as early as 1974 (w 6/1, QFR). The irony here is that while the WTS forbids transfusions that come from one donor per unit and compare it to fornication/adultery, they do permit fractions that are manufactured using "large pools of donor blood" - would that be equivalent to an orgy if you extend the WTS's beloved sexual immorality comparison?

There are lots of blood fractions - anti tetanus toxoid vaccine, anti venoms for snake or spider bites (separate preparations for each type of venomous snake/spider).

Your decision whether to accept the treatment or not would likely depend on the severity of the outcome if you chose to not accept treatment. For example, will you or someone you love die or be permanently maimed if you don't? You aren't required to martyr yourself anymore, and you aren't required to sacrifice your spouse or children anymore. Keep that in mind when making your decisions, and don't let some bullying publishing company coerce you into making a decision that will cause regret to yourself or to loved ones.

4

To Everyone Born in August, Happy Birthday!!! With L?ve & A (((HUG)))

by Iown Mylife in

jw
friends

onthewayout gave me this great idea!

let's wish happy birthday month to everyone, every month.

celebrate all month long, yes!!

Scully

thank you. :)

11

49 years ago today

by Glander in

jw
friends

happy anniversary, sweetheart!

(the minister is my dear uncle.

retired to hawaii and just turned 92.).

Scully

Congratulations!

20

My sister almost died.

by redvip2000 in

ever since i was a little boy i've been aware of this vague story about my older sister having some issues at birth, but never knew the details.. yesterday i was having a conversation with a much older cousin, who is a non-practicing jw about different watchtower issues.

while discussing the blood issue she totally came out with the story about my sister, which i never knew before.. when my sister was born some 40 years ago, my mother had the delivery at home with the help of a midwife.

i'm not entirely sure why this decision was made instead of going to a hospital.

Scully

This was a result of Rh incompatibility between your mother and your sister. This is so preventable, my heart hurts. Your mother should have known she was Rh negative. Your father is Rh positive. This was a known high-risk delivery.

I agree with jgnat. It sounds like your sister became very jaundiced. Forty years ago the only treatment would have been an exchange transfusion. Now we use ultra violet lights to help the body rid itself of the excess bilirubin that is caused by what is called Hemolytic Disease of the Newborn.

When mothers are known to have be Rh negative, they are usually given an injection of Anti-D (WinRho or RhoGam) in the third trimester of pregnancy and within 72 hours of delivery. This helps reduce the risk of antibody formation and prevent isoimmunization, thus protecting future pregnancies.

While these injections are blood products, they are considered fractions, so JW women can accept them if their conscience permits. I've only seen one person refuse this injection in my 15 years of practice, and that was because they had an anaphylactic reaction to it on a previous occasion. I have seen a JW nursing student refuse to administer it, but that's a whole nother ball of wax.

153

Shocking talk from 2013 District Convention urges parents to shun disfellowshipped children

by cedars in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yldwe_6jsu.

.

cedars.

Scully

Not sure how this happened but the video was passed along to The Thinking Atheist site owner, who then posted it on his personal facebook page.

He is looking for information for a JW related podcast, so I'm sure it will be featured when he's ready to present his podcast.

8

Heart bypass surgery & blood

by Twitch in

my father had an angioplasty this morning and was admitted immediately for coronary artery bypass surgery due to major blockages found.. how likely or necessary is a blood transfusion for this?.

what's the latest policy on blood?.

i realize there's likely a thread or two dedicated to the subject but i'm looking for the short answer from those in the know, at least on the latter.. i only found out this morning and am heading to the hospital now.

Scully

Your dad can ask for them to use the cell saver machine.

Unless his hemoglobin is dangerously low (like below 70 g/L) there's very little chance that a blood transfusion would even be an issue.

Despite what JWs claim, doctors are a lot more judicious in their use of blood transfusion than they used to be - it costs a LOT to process each donated unit of blood, and hospitals in Canada are far more cognizant of their bottom line than ever before. So if something isn't really really needed or there is a less expensive substitute that will serve equally well, they will go with that.

37

HELP NEEDED for the book I'm writing!

by Terry in

i'm about 90% finished on a book i started nine years ago.

it will deal with jehovah's witness policy on conscientious objectors during war time.

from the 1800's through the end of the draft in the early 1970's.. i am also giving a personal biographical account of my own introduction to the religion, process of assimilation and ministry experience.. additionally, i'm working in timelines connecting the 2nd adventist teachings with russell, rutherford and mainstream watchtower doctrines.. .

Scully

I wrote an article here on JWN about how the Conscientious Objector status only applies when the WTS finds it convenient for them.

If you were to Conscientiously Object to something going on within the organization, such as how child molesters are sheltered from justice via the Two Eye-Witness rule, the WTS considers it an act of rebellion, disloyalty and apostacy.

JWs & the Concept of Conscientious Objection

In fact the entire concept of Conscience™ where JWs are concerned revolves around whatever happens to be the WTS's doctrine du jour. We've seen this whenever New Light™ is published or announced from the platform - they drop the old teaching like a bag of turds and run with the new one. How on earth is that a reflection of a person's conscience??

40

The more time I spend with "worldly people" the more I realize...

by confusedandalone in

jw
friends

... that they actually have more of a desire to get to knoww you then jehovah's witnesses.

for years at the kingdom hall although i was an elder everyone "knew of me" but no one knew me.

i realized that i never really had a friend who knew anything about me as a person or my background.

Scully

everyone "knew of me" but no one knew me. I realized that I never really had a friend who knew anything about me as a person or my background. The worst part of that was that no ne really wanted to get to know that aspect of me - they just wanted to be friends with the elder that gave talks in hopes it would benefit them.

That was one of the biggest disappointments I experienced when I was transitioning out of the JWs, that they were only "friends" with me on a level so superficial that when I wasn't there, nobody even noticed. This included a JW lady whose son was best friends with my own son, who played together at school and were in the same class. I spoke with her on the phone every day. At some point I realized that I was the one making the effort - I made the phone calls, I organized play dates for our kids, I went to her house. It was all a one-way street. I decided to put our "friendship" to the test: for two weeks I didn't call, didn't visit, or do play dates - I wanted to see if she would pick up the ball that I dropped in her court. She didn't. It was as if I never existed.

I know that Worldly™ people are more reciprocating, but hurtful experiences like that with JWs has made me very reluctant to form deep friendships with other people. I feel socially stunted in a way that I doubt that I'll ever recover from it. I'm okay with it... I enjoy my own company and being with my family. My circle of trust is very limited.