have been told over the last 45 years it was my choice, not the way I or my friends remember.
Wow, does that ever hit home with me.
Yes, it was "my choice" to drop out of college at 18 and start working for a Brother™, when my mother constantly nagged about how expensive my schooling was (tuition was covered, the only thing to pay for was books and transportation).
Yes, it was "my choice" to "smarten up and get Baptized™" at 17 when my mother threatened to blackmail me over her imaginings about my sexual liasons with secret boyfriends (there weren't any) and report me to the Elders™ and then kick me out of the house.
When a gun is being held to your head, any choice "you" make is one made under duress. It's not voluntary. It's not "your" choice. It's "their" choice, and they've bullied you into making it "your" choice.
And yes, surprise, surprise, my mother has no recollection of what a complete b!tch she was to me.