Posts by Scully

64

Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?

by confusedandalone in

so i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.

today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?

i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.

Scully

Your JW parents should NEVER be permitted to have access to your children while at the same time they actively shun you.

It sets a terrible example for your children to see you being disrespected by your own parents - let's face it, shunning (being treated like you don't exist) is the ultimate form of disrespect - so unless your JW parents are prepared to behave like normal human beings, they should NEVER be allowed to have access to your children. Frankly, I have come to the conclusion that for as long as my JW parents remain JWs, it is psychologically abusive to allow my children to be exposed to their grandparents' disrespectful behaviour.

The only times they've seen my kids in the last 15 years have been when other non-JW relatives are present. They go out of their way to appear as normal as possible in front of the non-JW relatives and they wouldn't dare attempt to shun me or Mr Scully in their presence. They don't want to Bring Reproach on Jehovah™ by being an honest representation of how JWs really act. I think they're actually embarrassed by the possibility of having to be strict with the rules in front of non-JW relatives.

45

Seven Headed Wild Beast officially no longer represents UN?

by donuthole in

jw
friends

according to a new "bible questions answered": " the wild beast with seven heads introduced at revelation 13:1 represents the worldwide political system.".

i know that they have quietly been backing away from the un identification for awhile.

is this feature on jw.org a new official teaching, or just a spin for the sake of the public?.

Scully

I think this change is so they can dismiss legitimate criticism regarding the mutually beneficial relationship with the Image of the Wild Beast™ (aka the UN) between 1991 and 2001.

"This is how we view things now, after receiving some New Light™, so all that other stuff that happened is no longer scandalous and we can't be held accountable for our previous actions! So there!"

14

My sister's decision to ex-communicate me, just might rock the boat!

by Faithful Witness in

it was 11 days after i received the email from my sister, informing me that she is no longer going to communicate with me.. i was never a jw, so i don't fully comprehend this decision, nor do i understand the games jw's play.. i talked to my mom yesterday, and she (baptized within last year) is getting more and more fed up with the nonsense.

she has been trying to get everyone to come together, and she is seeing more and more extreme behavior from my sister and her husband.

my mom is blaming my brother in law, but my sister has clearly spoken up and said she is speaking for herself also.

Scully

Has it occurred to you that your sister might be in a domestic abuse situation?

It sounds like your brother-in-law is taking things to extremes in isolating your sister from any family support outside of the JWs.

Normally what you'd see is ramped up attention toward the non-JW family members, (a) trying to bend over backward to demonstrate how "normal" they are, and (b) trying to lure non-JW family members in to the cult with love-bombing behaviour.

My suggestion would be to ask your sister to research the Watchtower Publications to show you whether her cutting ties with you is acceptable, or whether this is her husband attempting to isolate her from what might be her only real support network.

46

I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!

by hoser in

jw
friends

i have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.

they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.

it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .

Scully

Several months ago, we adopted a young dog from a shelter. She had not been trained by her previous owner, and at almost 18 months old, still wasn't housebroken. She knew she was supposed to do her business outside, yet she had accidents all the time. We figured out that the previous owner must have scolded her - she acted afraid and cowered when she pottied indoors, but something must have happened to reinforce the behaviour. We realized the negative attention (yelling/scolding) must have been the reinforcing factor that perpetuated the behaviour. So we started ignoring the accidents, and started rewarding the behaviour we wanted. Whenever she did her business outside, we hugged her and praised her: "What a good girl!! Good job!!" Within a week, the accidents stopped and she started letting us know when she wanted to go outside. We kept reinforcing the appropriate behaviour with praise - she loved the positive attention even more than the negative attention she'd had from the previous owner, and it was as if she wanted to elicit praise from us. She stopped other negative behaviour too, like tearing blankets and nipping at us as a greeting, when we rewarded appropriate behaviour with praise and attention.

Whenever they say something that arouses feelings of fear, guilt or anxiety in you or something that is simply none of their business, take a deep breath, IGNORE it and change the subject to something more appropriate.

Whenever they say something pleasant, loving and helpful, feel free to respond in kind.

It may take them a while to catch on, but they will eventually realize how to speak to you if they wish to have a response.

36

Weekend Warning - Family May be after You Come Sunday, be ready.

by LostGeneration in

jw
friends

the wt this weekend:.

help those who have become inactive.. jesus said that there is joy in.

heaven when just one lost sheep is.

Scully

Those Words of Encouragement™ are spewed forth in the WT Study™ on an annual basis. It doesn't seem to have made the slightest difference where my JW relatives are concerned.

It's been almost 20 years since we last set foot in a KH. In all that time, not once have my JW relatives made a single attempt to try to bring us back or to try to figure out why we became Inactive™ in the first place. Not once.

On the one hand, I'm grateful for the lack of interference. On the other, it annoys me that they feel justified in shunning us despite their never having made a shred of effort toward bringing us back to the fold. It's as if they've already decided we aren't worth the effort.

That's Love™ JW style!

29

shock horror! WITNESSING ATTIRE NOW CONDONES OPEN-NECK SHIRTS FOR MALES!

by steve2 in

jw
friends

go to jw.org right now friends and you will see a young male jw witnessing in a rural setting with publication in hand and - take careful note - wearing a crisply-white open-neck shirt.

bring out the carnival, light the lights: the organ ization is kicking itself into an ongoing casualization of its rank and file.. in the 1960s through 1980s i know brothers who dared to attire themselves sans ties who were reprimanded or worse.

.

Scully

I was reprimanded for wearing ski pants under my dress coat in the middle of January. They prefered that I wear stockings with my boots under a dress, and freeze my bum off in the bleeding cold winters that are normal in Quebec.

17

Hubby went out in service today.

by KariOtt in

jw
friends

i can't believe hubby and sis in law actually went out in service today.

when he left this morrning i reminded him to inform those who didn't slam their doors on them that if they join your cult that this will be the last christmas, holiday and birthday they will be allowed to celebrate.

i thought it very inapproiate going out today to knock on doors trying to get converts..

Scully

I wonder if he and his family would partake if you cooked them a nice big Christmas dinner?

You wouldn't have to *call* it a "Christmas" dinner - just turkey is on sale and all the fixin's too and the leftover sandwiches are soooo yummy! and the turkey soup from scratch... oh my!!

8

Need Advice about Grandparents/Blood Doctrine

by SnailsPace2 in

my in-laws are taking my little boy to a different state for small trip and the want me to create a document stating they are allowed to take him over state lines.

which is fine.

my husband would like for me to construct the document and include information concerning medical decisions and that they are only to be made after contacting the parents.

Scully

To answer your question, a document pertaining to your child's health care decisions should be worded something like this:

My son/daughter, (insert name here), is temporarily visiting their grandparents, (insert names here), from (start date Day/Month/Year) to (end date Day/Month/Year).

In the event of a medical emergency, my child's well being and life are of the utmost importance. We can be reached at any time by cell phone at (###) ###-#### to be kept informed of my child's condition and to grant consent for any medical procedures that may be required.

My child's current medications are:
(medication name, dosage, taken x# times daily) [repeat for each medication your child uses]

My child is allergic to: (list allergies, especially medications like antibiotics, and include food allergies)

This document is in effect for the duration of (child's name) visit with (grandparents' names), (restate dates above).

Your printed name and signature

Your husband's printed name and signature

Dated this (date, month, year) at (your city of residence).

-------------------------

Under no circumstances should you relinquish your decision making rights on behalf of your child to anyone else. In this day and age, where instant communication is possible via cellular phone, there is no reason whatsoever to give that right away to someone who might make a well-intentioned but poorly informed choice that you yourself would not make on your child's behalf.

8

Need Advice about Grandparents/Blood Doctrine

by SnailsPace2 in

my in-laws are taking my little boy to a different state for small trip and the want me to create a document stating they are allowed to take him over state lines.

which is fine.

my husband would like for me to construct the document and include information concerning medical decisions and that they are only to be made after contacting the parents.

Scully

Are you certain that your inlaws wouldn't use a legal document like that to potentially get you in hot water with the Elders™, especially if you put in writing that you consent to your son receiving blood transfusions if deemed medically necessary?

Are you certain that your inlaws would even respect such instructions related to your son's medical care in the event it was medically necessary?

To be perfectly honest, I would NOT permit a child of mine to have unsupervised time alone with JW grandparents, unless I was a JW myself and agreed 100% with their teachings and doctrines. When you are "fading", Inactive™ or attempting to distance yourself from the JW religion, allowing an impressionable child to have unsupervised access with JW grandparents or other JW relatives who might feel they have a 'mission' to save them from your 'reckless' course of action (i.e., Leaving The Truth™) is asking for trouble.

11

Shunning: How would You Overcome it?

by ABibleStudent in

after reading the thread soon to be 18 and quit speaking to her mother- suggestions?, i started thinking of how to use the wtbts's doctrine to help jws to see what is the real purpose of shunning for the wtbts.

hopefully, some good ideas will be posted to this thread and may help exjws and jws to maintain relationships with each other instead of shunning the non-jws.. how would a jw react to the following?.

do christians shun or not associate with non-jws to help non-jws believe that the wtbts has the "truth", to keep the cong clean of non-believers, or to not be shunned?

Scully

You overcome it by not participating in it. They are the ones required by the WTS to shun ex-JWs and there ought to be consequences for such behaviour. The opposite (ex-JWs shunning JWs) is not a requirement - to do so would be to endorse the behaviour and participate in it, and even worse, it endorses the WTS's claim of authority over the ex-JW.

They want to shun you and your spouse, the parents of your children? Then they don't get the privilege of associating with your children and being allowed to treat their ex-JW parent with disrespect (and thereby set an example of disrespecting their parents). If they want to have their grandchildren / nieces / nephews in their lives, they have to behave in a manner that sets an example of acceptance, love and tolerance of everyone, including people whose opinion on religious matters differs from their own.