Scully

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Posts by Scully

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  8

  family didn't donate

  by ssn587 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a friend told me recently that he isn't having much if anything ever to do again with his siblings, his spouse passed away, and yet none of his brothers and sisters have donated a dime to help with the funeral costs or anything else, the siblings didn't even send flowers to the funeral.

  he is saing that's it, they have been written off of his list to ever help if and when they have this problem.

  the siblings aren't even jdubs.

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  Scully

  Karma is your friend.
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  19

  What to ask a proselytizing spouse

  by Nickolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you are a non-jw married to a jw, how do you deal with those times during the week when he or she slips out for several hours with bookbag in hand, going door to door?

  your spouse is out there actively recruiting for the watchtower - do you have a problem with that?

  do you ask your spouse if he/she is up front with the prospective convert?

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  Scully

  Ask her how they handle questions like

  Is it true that you believe that only JWs will be saved?

  Is it true that if I become a JW, that I will have to refuse blood transfusions if my life is on the line?

  Is it true that if I become a JW, I will be expected to limit association with my non-JW friends and relatives?

  Is it true that if I become a JW, I will have to defer to Watchtower opinion rather than listen to my husband?

  Is it true that if I become a JW, my children will be ridiculed in school because they cannot participate in holiday activities?

  The second she tells a householder "No" to any one of those questions, she is lying. Ask her how her conscience allows her to lie to people like that - it makes her no better than a shabby used car salesman.
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  32

  My Wife wants to allow a Sister from her congregation to provide before and after care for my oldest daughter...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when my littlest one was born we knew finding affordable daycare would be tough.

  a sister in her congregation was suggested over and over and we finally checked her out and allowed her to keep the baby.

  my oldest has had a fairly normal life (thanks largely to me and my wife before she became a witness) and because of that she is quick to speak of birthdays, holidays, etc.. i want her to continue to have a fairly normal life as i know how hard it would be for her to be 'singled out' because her friends decide to do these things.. she's about to start kindergarten and my wife wants to try some sister from her congregation who is looking to make some extra money providing before and after care.

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  Scully

  Just a question that came to mind...

  Would it be feasible for your wife to stay at home with the children and work part-time evenings and weekends or do a job-share/child-care share arrangement with someone she knows from her work in a similar situation? The money you'd save on child care might offset the reduction in her wages, and give her flexibility to attend school events and such.
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  32

  My Wife wants to allow a Sister from her congregation to provide before and after care for my oldest daughter...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when my littlest one was born we knew finding affordable daycare would be tough.

  a sister in her congregation was suggested over and over and we finally checked her out and allowed her to keep the baby.

  my oldest has had a fairly normal life (thanks largely to me and my wife before she became a witness) and because of that she is quick to speak of birthdays, holidays, etc.. i want her to continue to have a fairly normal life as i know how hard it would be for her to be 'singled out' because her friends decide to do these things.. she's about to start kindergarten and my wife wants to try some sister from her congregation who is looking to make some extra money providing before and after care.

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  Scully

  She then insinuated that I was discriminating due to religion and performing an illegal act

  This is bugging the crap out of me.

  Y'know, just to shut her up on that front, I'd get right up in her face and demand to see the woman's licences to run a home-based day care, provide a DOZEN real references (not phony JW references), and insist on written receipts, and a viewing of every tax return declaring income from a home-based day care, plus have her audited by the Health and Safety Authority. If she can't or won't provide those, then say you can report her to the authorities for running an illegal operation.

  Don't sow the wind unless you're prepared to reap the whirlwind. (Hosea 8:7)

  And after that, it shouldn't be a problem for you because your wife will be mortified, and the JW lady won't want your child in her house.

  Oh, and another comeback for this comment that you can give your wife is "You're a JW and I let you look after our daughter. If I didn't, that would be discrimination. I have the right to choose anyone, JW or otherwise to look after our daughter, and the decision will be based on what is in her best interests, not on whether the candidate has good Meeting Attendance™, or whether they light a menorah or go to mosque on Friday nights."

  I daresay that since your OP indicated that the woman was interested in earning some extra money by providing child care services, there's a very high probability that this is a casual child care arrangement, without any legal registrations/licences/education etc. that would be required by the state. It sounds to me more like she wants to make "easy money" than take care of children.
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  32

  My Wife wants to allow a Sister from her congregation to provide before and after care for my oldest daughter...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when my littlest one was born we knew finding affordable daycare would be tough.

  a sister in her congregation was suggested over and over and we finally checked her out and allowed her to keep the baby.

  my oldest has had a fairly normal life (thanks largely to me and my wife before she became a witness) and because of that she is quick to speak of birthdays, holidays, etc.. i want her to continue to have a fairly normal life as i know how hard it would be for her to be 'singled out' because her friends decide to do these things.. she's about to start kindergarten and my wife wants to try some sister from her congregation who is looking to make some extra money providing before and after care.

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  Scully

  The thing that concerns me more than the JW thing is your wife feeling "pressured" and "obligated" to avail herself of this woman's services. Something doesn't feel right about your wife wanting to give this lady a trial run based on feeling obligated because they have a mutual JW connection. That's usually a recipe for disaster - it's why a lot of people don't go into business with or lend money to friends or relatives - it usually doesn't work out and creates hard feelings.

  Your wife has a perfect "get out of it, guilt-free" card - she could simply say that she is deferring to your Headship™. You could also say that you are concerned that if things don't work out with this lady, that it will create an uncomfortable situation between her and your wife, and you want to keep business (let's face it, having someone care for your child is a "business" decision, based on what is in her best interests) and KH friendships separate.

  There is usually a reason why some people undercut their competition's prices. If you can claim child care expenses as a tax deduction, this lady will have to provide receipts, and if she isn't willing to issue receipts or take cheques as payment, then something doesn't smell right. I would insist with your wife that any caregiver your child goes to should be operating legally, which means issuing receipts for payment and abiding by whatever regulations are stipulated by the municipality.
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  32

  My Wife wants to allow a Sister from her congregation to provide before and after care for my oldest daughter...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when my littlest one was born we knew finding affordable daycare would be tough.

  a sister in her congregation was suggested over and over and we finally checked her out and allowed her to keep the baby.

  my oldest has had a fairly normal life (thanks largely to me and my wife before she became a witness) and because of that she is quick to speak of birthdays, holidays, etc.. i want her to continue to have a fairly normal life as i know how hard it would be for her to be 'singled out' because her friends decide to do these things.. she's about to start kindergarten and my wife wants to try some sister from her congregation who is looking to make some extra money providing before and after care.

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  Scully

  If I were a JW, I would obviously prefer to have my child looked after by another JW.

  I'd be interested if this woman is also caregiver to non-JW children. If she looks after ONLY other JW kids, then I'd be more concerned about indoctrination/brainwashing than I would if she has Worldly™ customers too.

  Ask for references, like you would with any other potential caregiver. If she is reluctant to provide references, or seems offended because your wife already has a relationship with her via the KH, then I'd be wary.

  If your municipality has rules around home-based child-care centers, find out whether she is running a legal operation with appropriate licences, employees to match children per caregiver quotas, curriculum, etc. If she doesn't meet the basic LEGAL requirements (i.e., paying Caesar's things to Caesar) for running a child-care facility in her home, then it's a no-brainer.
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  9

  help! husband going to convention

  by leftchica in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hi friends!.

  so my story is this: i married a jw who was inactive and once we got married he got back into "the truth" and i started to "study" with people in his congregation.

  i had many red flags and was hesitant to knocking on doors, but after a year of "what does the bible teach" being studied with a pioneer and having been pressured to go to meetings, i too, became a jw.

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  Scully

  DoC

  Yeah, it was intentional.
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  22

  What would you say to a pregnant teenager and her parents?

  by skeeter1 in

  1. social
  2. family

  on the in-law side, someone is pregnant.

  teenager.

  unwed.

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  Scully

  I would be hesitant to offer "carte blanche" support to a pregnant teenager who, by all accounts, knows better than to get herself in this situation.

  In my years working with new moms and babies, the single teen moms more often than not, were looking for (a) attention - from friends, family, anyone and (b) $upport - from any $our¢e they from whi¢h they ¢an a¢quire it. A lot of them hear from their friends that they can move out of their parents' home, and being pregnant, they qualify for housing and an allowance from welfare. They move their boyfriend in, have the baby and get more money. They get pregnant again, and their housing needs increase, so they move to a bigger place, and get more money again when the baby comes along. All this without lifting a finger in terms of contributing to society. I have even heard that some BF/GF couples refuse to get married or live together (officially) because both can qualify for separate apartments. The scheme then becomes that they secretly live together and rent out one of the residences under the table to get more money that they haven't worked for.

  They still manage to have the latest in cell phones, cars, clothes, too. They are spoiled, feel entitled to whatever they want, and have no qualms about their lifestyle.

  When that is the mentality you're dealing with, it takes every ounce of strength in me to not grab these lazy wankers by the shoulders and give them a good shake, and tell them to stop scrounging off the taxes that I pay, and get off their lazy arses and get real jobs.
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  9

  help! husband going to convention

  by leftchica in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hi friends!.

  so my story is this: i married a jw who was inactive and once we got married he got back into "the truth" and i started to "study" with people in his congregation.

  i had many red flags and was hesitant to knocking on doors, but after a year of "what does the bible teach" being studied with a pioneer and having been pressured to go to meetings, i too, became a jw.

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  Scully

  Conventions are powerful reinforcers of cult mentality.

  When you go to a couple of Meetings™ a week, with the same people over and over again, the social aspect becomes a bit stale, and some people have a tendency to miss here and there, because it is the same-ol'-same-ol' pretty much every week.

  Conventions, on the other hand, are like a blood transfusion to someone who is severely anemic. It's a different place from the routine. It's with thousands of different people. You go out for dinners to restaurants with The Friends™, you all get excited about the talks, and there's a ritual when socializing at conventions to share what you felt was a highlight from the talks with everyone else, and everyone else shares their highlights with everyone else.

  People who attend conventions, though they might be physically tired from the experience, always feel they are Spiritually™ energized. They are on a "high" that can last for quite a while afterward.

  You can be sure that there will be talks focused on avoiding Apostates™ or Apostate Reasoning™. So you may want to cool your jets on that front for a bit.

  What I'd focus on has nothing to do with the doctrines or beliefs. I'd ask How many times did they talk about donating? How many times did they bring up giving them money? Because that is the central purpose for holding a convention as far as the WTS is concerned. And the Spiritual™ "high" that many JWs are on when they attend a convention keeps them from noticing the many times that cash-flow is a priority.
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  150

  How many people watched "The Princess and the Frog?"

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  how many christians?.

  how many jehovah's witnesses?.

  what do you all think of it?.

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  Scully

  I thought it was a silly movie. Released a few years post Hurricane Katrina, setting the movie in New Orleans was probably already decided long before the movie even got off the ground, but still, I wonder if that was a good idea, from the standpoint of sensitivity to the folks who are really trying to scrape their lives back together.

  I feel that Disney's motivation in making the movie the way it did was so that it could be politically correct (BARF) and round out its Princess Collection™ by adding an African American princess. Probably approved by its legal department and marketing department, and targeted at little girls who like to play princess (and their parents' pocketbooks).