Your marriage was based on a lie.
Legally speaking, that is fraud, and you should be able to terminate the marriage on that basis alone. In a business situation, entering into a contract that is based on false information (fraud) is valid grounds to terminate that contract.
That's the long and short of the matter.
IMO, the WTS's insistence on 'purity' prior to marriage sets people up for marital failure. How can you really know the other person, when your interactions have been chaperoned and monitored? How can you know if there are any behaviours that you might consider to be a deal-breaker if you cannot have intimate (as in living in close quarters, not necessarily sexual intimacy - although I disagree with the wedding night virgins scenario now too) interactions with the potential marriage mate?
Do you think that someone who is prone to committing physical/verbal/mental/sexual abuse is going to subject you to this behaviour when a chaperone is in your space? Do you think you're going to see a person 'warts and all' when they're only trying to impress you and attempt to show themselves at their best in front of you and the person who is your chaperone?
Elders™ have no training in real marital counselling. Their Training™ is geared to enforcing the Scriptural™ edicts of male Headship™ and female Submissiveness™. A woman who disagrees with these Principles™ and wants to exercise her basic human rights is a troublemaker in their world.
Do yourself a favour and seek out a bona fide, credentialed counsellor. You need to build yourself up, because when the $h!t hits the fan, your spouse and the Elders™ will try to rip you to shreds. You deserve better than that lot. You deserve to be happy.
