As with any small-group situation the deaf are no exception. Very few of the interpreters are of professional standard, as they mostly learn their skills within the group where all sorts of disagreements abound, especially if the proficient interpreter is female....as is often the case. A huge amount of harm is done where elders with egos extending beyond the bounds of ability, try to render control in ways which are not suitable or justifiable in relation to people with special needs. Unfortunately, the people themselves are not consulted, as they are 'uninformed' and in need of 'help'.....which is often the death of them. The insular attitude of many elders/brothers pertaining to minority cultures and the acquisition of specialized knowledge ensures the continuation of misjudjment and ineffective interaction. Some of these groups survive within their own bubble of discontent; while supportive of each other,they are always on the fringes of the mainstream. Sometimes the human cost is high.
Posts by Si
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14Deaf Mute Disfellowshippings
by Celtic inanyone know of anyone who has been disfellowshipped who has deaf and mute impairment?
how did they cope and what support network platform is there for them on leaving?.
peace.
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23
Breaking Through Cognitive Dissonance?
by indireneed ini've been thinking alot lately about how my life sucks.
i guess everyone is entitled to disliking their life a little, but the holiday is really starting to get me down.
that's strange becaue it used to be my favorite time of the year!
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Si
Don't fight her beliefs or affiliation with the organization; you will make her stronger by providing the 'persecution'. She probably doesn't have much 'in depth' contact within the congregation apart from other sisters married to 'opposers'. The spiritual 'in-crowd' will likely not accept her fully over a long period. Her major associates will be others in her situation, who survive on unhappiness.(Apart from the genuinely nice people that do exist). Don't give her the same unhappiness. Provide her with emotional support, friendship and a willingness to share things together. Provide a respite from the stresses of being a good JW. In short, be her friend; not her enemy.
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5
Persecution Fever
by radar indo any of you recall the persecution paranoia, that swept across the congregations in the late 80s?.
the great tribulation was believd imminent, and bro's were getting excited and encouraging everyone to be ready.. the book study was highlighted as a meeting that must be never missed!
because if a sudden ban came upon the kingdom hall meetings, then only those who knew where the current book study was held, would get spiritual food and help.. the next thing was "hide your watchtower literature" in places where the authorities would not find it.. jws, including myself, consequently hid literature in the walls of our homes.
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Si
It was definitely the same in Australia during that time. It may have been a way of kick-starting things after '75, although I do remember a huge focus on the 'tribulation'prior to '75. The book-study - most definitely! Can't remember, but maybe tht was during a time when the attemdance was 'off'. Maybe the Revelation book (as I say, can't recall exact dates - which is strange for a JW!)
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34
Any athiests here had a demon experience?
by Marilyn ini've made friends with a mormon lady, and she told me that her 14yo daughter has thrown out all four harry potter books because she's realised they are dabbling in and encouraging demons.
then she told me about her demon experiences herself.
has any exjw, of sound mind, had a proper demon experience (as opposed to improper!!)?
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Si
In my experience (of others) non-christian cultures/people who have a specific belief system - eg shamanism etc. do indeed have experiences that are para-normal.
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53
Two sex questions
by Seeker4 inok, have had enough to drink tonight so i will toss these two questions out.
will discuss this a bit more tomorrow.. 1. how many of you had sex outside of your marriage after leaving the witnesses?
provide whatever details about how and why that you're comfortable with.. 2. funny question: had a friend write me today that probably more jws per capita enjoyed oral sex the night they read it was a "conscience matter" than any other group in the us.
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Si
I am reasonably new to this site..indeed to the whole exjw internet world, but I found your post interesting, so I will reply. As I am a woman I can only give you my perspective, with which you may do as you like.
Firstly, I think we all feel like kicking up our heels and exploring all the 'no go' areas we had while on the inside...a bit like teenagers let on the loose really. Freedom - and don't really know how to handle it. I speak for myself as I was baptised at 13 and lived a very straight life, special pioneer and all.
But a word about your wife if I may, as she is the silent party here ...as I read your post. At a conference on women's health I attended some time ago, it was stated by medical professioals that when women are abused physically, they may well counter with a negative emotional response. When a woman is abused mentally/emotianally, she may do the opposite and evidence a physical response. It is not by accident (it was brought out) that many women in this category show with cancers of the breast and reproductive organs. This leads me to believe that woman are sensitive not only in the much maligned emotional sense, but with regard to the physical. What I am suggesting is, that in the future, you may be left with lots of pieces to pick up. I imagine you do not see your behaviour as abuse, but that is relative..I think.
Unfortunately, you have embarked upon your journey of self discovery at a time that is most challenging for your wife. During your year of indulgence, she may have been coming to terms with all manner of things that you have missed. I hope your counsellor is a good one - for her sake. I also hope you do work out your future, in a way suitable for her, and not just because she has nowhere else to go.
Be careful Mr Seeker, my elder ex-husband played the same game. I am now married to a nice man considerably younger than myself, and very good looking to boot. He on the other hand, is married to a lady in dire need of extensive dental work. And I didn't need to make promises about sucking anything either (honesty and fidelity can co exist...I have found)I hope you find what you are looking for. -
27
Shunning Or Refusing Blood - Which Is Worse?
by Englishman inmost persons who die through lack of blood have made that choice for themselves.
the consequences of such a course of action (often death) generally have an effect which is limited primarily to the individual who is refusing treatment.. however, the victim of a decision to shun has no input into that decision.
therefore the 'victim' of shunning is a helpless recipient of that policy.
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Si
Just a word on shunning.
I too believe this to be unchristian and evidence of introspective behaviour. However, the JW's do not have this on their own. Whole societies subscribe to this form of behaviour. Take Japan (and other Asian cultures) for example. Group dynamics are of the utmost importance and where there is dissention, the group withdraws from the 'marked' individual. This may happen within a specific group situation or family, should a member break with the established code or tradition (eg marry a foreigner). Within such cultures there are long established and very strong forces which work to maintain the status quo and a deviation is often addressed through a process of 'shunning'. Rules which inform the status quo are also those of self interest and exist within a particular mindset that does not take into consideration alternative forms of behaviour. They exist simply to disallow change and encourage conformity. I have mentioned Japan as an example only, this situation is in evidence in many traditional cultures and certainly Asian ones. My point? This is an aspect of human behaviour found in many places other than within the JW organisation. Its negative, counterproductive, but it exists as a defence mechanism to change and a means of keeping the comfort zone intact(not to mention power). -
39
Anyone Remember The Chaperone Thing?
by Englishman inback when i was a lusty young lad of 17, a certain sister caught my eye - i swear that she could make her eyelashes beckon - and i duly decided to pay court to said sister.. however, it was not to be so simple.
round about that time, it would have been mid-60's, the wtbts were having a real downer on anyone who wore a short skirt (not me), danced the twist or grew their hair (me) over their ears.. but, the worse thing was still to come.
folks, i am talking about chaperoning!
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Si
Many of the marriages that I know of from around the time this first became an issue in the mid-late 60's have either dissloved or remain in name only. I remember it being said from the platform that holding hands was not permitted prior to marriage, and a broken engagement was at least public reproof and loss of all privleges, although that may have depended on the elder body. After such an inauspicious start, one usually attempted to pioneer without adequate funds and not complain as that would be taken as evidence of a lack of J. spirit requiring more effort which probably meant more sacrifice. Recently a thread existed re memories of past CO's, and the name Phil Hayworth was mentioned in line with his emotive talks on the last days of Jesus. Unfortunately this CO was emotive about many things(possibly a personality disorder of the hystrionic type)and was personally responsible for a number of mis-matches that I know of in line with the dating/marriage issue. His, (but not only his) zeal in this field was taken up by many an elder, the results of which are still bearing fruit.
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What really gets me going
by ballistic ini have gone through various emotions including anger at the wtbts for all that i went through while growing up only to be disfellowshipped at 22.. my net result is a dead father due to the blood issue and a split family and, of course, years of wasted time.. i would like to say, however, that i am not angry with all witnesses and i am not a conspiracist who believes the leaders have a hidden agenda.. i believe that informed persons should be able to join the witnesses if they believe it is right for them.. what i hate though is the fact that thousands of children, like i was, are still indoctrinated from birth.
they are told "we don't baptise babies because they are too young to choose it for themselves.
" but in reality, what choice are you really giving a child who by the age of 13 would have experienced: 3380 hours of meetings, 832 hours of larger assemblies, possibly 1560 hours of field service, at least 2028 hours of personal study (watchtower, book study and personal study) and more importantly, what choice does a child have who is told they have an open mind but who is never allowed examine religions or persons with opposing views?.
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Si
Ballistic. You sound as though your past is still with you and it is a source of sadness. Sometimes it may be good to look at the positive as well as the negative, I've found this helps. I grew up as a JW with probably the original 'control' parents. At first I thought they caused me much pain (which they did) but I have since relised that they did their best for me, to the extent that they knew how. They were also a product of their generation (not just being JW's) just as we all are. I am also a parent and I did my best, but it has not always been good enough. My parents were excellent sports-people before becoming JW's, and as all sports-people they pushed the limits in order to achieve. They did this in the 'truth' too, and they did it to me. I used to resent this, but now I realize this is my strength. Yep, I left school as soon as I could to pioneer, but I am now doing a Ph.D. The thing I learned from my parents was to not give up something if you believe in it. It is a mistake to think that it is only JW parents that push their kids to the limit and suffocate them. As an educator I have worked in countries other than my own where the pressures on very young children to succeed are unbelievable. The competition between school, class, age-group and family is intense. Children are deprived of sleep and pushed beyond anything that is normal; all to be viewed as successful and not shame their parents. Many suicide. I think it is easy to become bound within a certain thinking paradigm and focus the blame for ouselves on one entity, but really our lives are up to ourselves. I have yet to meet the person who thinks they have had a perfect life! I had some bad times as a JW, but I also had some good times, it could have been much, much worse. I choose not to associate now, but I have no anger towards them, in fact I have much to be thankful for. Regret and anger play a role in the healing process, but it is a sad place to get stuck. Out of the hard times come the good times...often.
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14
What is significant about 9/11?
by Seeker inmany jws have become excited by the events of 9/11 in the u.s., thinking that this is a definite sign of the imminent end of the system.
we have seen online jws talking about how these awful events were "prophecied in the bible" and how this is proof that armageddon is near.
we have heard reports of local jws saying the same things, including many of our family members.
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Si
As the above response says (and Madeline A.), "On American soil" is significant. How many Americans died on Vietnamese soil, or other soil? It's the indignity of the 'home' soil that seems to have created an impact. Realistically, Americans have killed lots of people on their 'home' soil.....oops!!